that’s what grandma would always tell me, but at some point, i stopped caring.

GIF by iwaizyumi

• the show is pretty much a disaster with the four of these running the joint
• oikawa likes to talk big about him not being scared of anything only to pretty much hide behind iwa when they visit spooky places. at the same time he’s SO SURE that ghosts want his body for some reason
• oikawa, walking around in a haunted prison: i sure hope there aren’t any GHOSTS around who’d want to GRAB a piece of MOI 
• iwa: don’t worry, your ass is too flat to grab
• and iwa is very certain that he can like punch the ghosts (poor boy was raised on hollywood movies like ushijima). whenever oikawa screams in terror he literally just starts punching the air 
• also iwa keeps writing long letters to the producers of the show to let them do an episode on godzilla
• producer: godzilla’s a movie, a fictional one. you know that, right?
• iwa: but if u just give us a submarine
• producer: DO YOU THINK WE OWN A SUBMARINE?
• hanamaki and matsukawa are the show’s main cameramen and boy does it add to the chaotic factor
• they film oikawa and iwa on their phones even if its not listed to be part of the show
• they even have this clip of iwa typing 30+5 into his phone calculator when he was computing the change for the pizza he and oikawa ordered
• matsuhana also have their own twitter account where they constantly livetweet while filming for the show. most of it is behind-the-scenes-clips
• one of their funniest posts was this selfie of the two them making a heart around oikawa in the background who had just tripped 
• there’s also this clip (deleted from the show but posted on their account) of oikawa announcing that he was feeling a ‘cold presence’ in a room with his hand right in front of the air conditioner
• tbh if a ghost started throwing iwa and oikawa against a wall, matsuhana would live-tweet it
•  also oikawa has this habit of leaving pictures of kageyama and ushijima at the places they visit as well as a lock of their hair and a note saying ‘pls curse them 4 me, thank u <3′

GIF by kikyoshirax

• and now here we have goshiki, who cares so much about making the show the best and funniest it could be, and shirabu, who’s pretty much in it for the house-jumping
• producer: these are haunted houses you’ll be visiting. there are probably ghosts in there 
• shirabu: yeah, whatever. it’s free real estate (#millenialproblems)
• goshiki actually watches a ton of ushiten’s buzzfeed unsolved content and knows that it’s wildly popular and he wants his and shirabu’s show to be popular too
• so he kind of ‘borrows’ some of the things that ushijima does but tries to make it his own to avoid copyright
• goshiki: *setting up an entire wood carving station* would any ghosts like to carve some wood with me?
• there’s an innuendo here somewhere i don’t think i need to explain
• the episodes where they sleepover are so funny though. shirabu deadass just brings his entire 7-step korean skincare routine
• he’s always like ‘i’ll investigate the bathroom’ but he’ll actually be doing a whole night routine
• goshiki, knocking on the door outside: are you okay? you’ve been there for quite a while
• shirabu, chilling in a bathtub full of bubbles with a sheet mask on his face and a glass of wine that he stole: oh yeah. there’s just a whole lot of paranormal evidence here the vibes on the thingy are going craaazy
• goshiki also tries to do that summoning a ghost with latin thing that ushijima thing that drove the fans crazy
• except he does it in gaelic or greek and he just naturally does everything perfectly so he ACCIDENTALLY SUMMONS A WHOLE GHOST
• *insert scene of goshiki trying to un-exorcise the ghost and screaming the entire time* 
• shirabu, still chillaxing in the bathtub: i love my job

• 99% of the time they’re daring each other to do something that would get their asses possessed by a ghost or scratched by a demon
• they actually had an episode where they went to father thomas to ask for advice abt how to deal with demons and ghosts
• atsumu has that ‘i’m not listening to any of this’ expression on his face while osamu is taking notes and nodding so you’d expect at least one of them to follow father thomas
• nah, osamu was taking notes to explicitly break each and every one of them
• atsumu LOOOVES riling up ghosts and demons 
• when he and osamu visited annabelle in the warren museum atsumu brought an entire sign that said ‘i dont respect u’ written on it and held it in front of the doll for a whole 10 minutes
• he also breathed on the glass because it doesn’t count as touching
• osamu, reading from the list he made during the father thomas meeting: provoking a demon: check
• this little shithead (i lov him tho) also likes to ‘accidentally leave atsumu somewhere’ 
• it’s a simple matter that involves a lot of dodging around, a yellow wig, and copying how his twin speaks
• producer: i have a feeling we’ve forgotten someone
• osamu, as atsumu: nope! we’re all here!
• osamu, as himself: yep. whatever it is, probably not important
• *insert clip from atsumu’s snapchat while he’s stuck inside the warren museum*
• atsumu, videoing annabelle: they think this glass case is meant to keep me safe from you but it’s actually meant to keep you safe from ME

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• this show only ran for a few episodes and here’s why:
• they couldn’t gather ANY PARANORMAL EVIDENCE AT ALL and the places they visit just end up not looking paranormal at all
• that’s because kita. accidentally. exorcises. every. place. he. goes. to.
• he’s so pure and beautiful though he even brings bowls of rice to offer to the ghosts or spirits that are there
• the producers are so confused as to why it keeps happening so they end up dragging kita and suna to the most haunted ass places they could find in the world but nothing helps
• random stranger: are you sure you want to enter that asylum? its built on an ancient indian burial ground and then it was turned into a torture house and then a mannequin factory and then an asylum. people have wandered in and aren’t seen again or they leave screaming.
• suna, fully aware of the Kita Effect: oh, i think we’ll be fine
• kita: *steps one foot into the asylum*
• the asylum: all 5000 spirits that haunt it are exorcised, the air is cleared, flowers started sprouting from the concrete, violins play in the distance
• kita: this place doesn’t seem so bad
• suna also drives spirits away in his own way
• he’ll just be sitting around the haunted place, before kita comes in, waiting for them to start recording
• and then right before appearing on camera he’ll stretch and this boy’s joints are SUPER CRUNCHY 
• producer: suna, almost time to film
• suna: alright. *stretches and pops the joints on his shoulder, stretches each finger until they touch the back of his hand, twists and crunches his spine, bends over backwards like that bitch from the Exorcist, turns his head around 360 degrees*
• the ghosts, watching him: shit. what the fuck?
• instead of becoming buzzfeed unsolved now they work as exorcists (kind of like sam and dean from supernatural except they don’t constantly die)

GIF by yuesbitch

• a one-man show right here. his buzzfeed unsolved is more focused on recent hauntings at houses that people currenly live in (kind of like that hannah williams episode)
• and the funny thing about the show is that there’s so much glaring evidence that the houses he’s visiting are haunted but he’s so focused on how messy and unclean they are
• ghost: *throwing plates in the kitchen and flooding the sink with water from the faucet*
• sakusa: oh my GOD. you DON’T RINSE THE SOAP FROM YOUR DISHES. and this trash ISN’T SEGREGATED???
• producer: um, sakusa? can we address the elephant in the room?
• sakusa: oh, right. sorry. *turns to house owner* LADY THERE IS A COMPLETE LACK OF PAPER TOWELS IN YOUR KITCHEN
• buzzfeed unsolved whomst?? no, it’s buzzfeed house clean-up with your host, sakusa kiyoomi
• house owner: the story of this house is actually quite tragic
• sakusa: you know what’s actually tragic? the mold in those bathroom tiles. ever heard of a toothbrush and bleach diluted in water?
• the funny thing is that the house is still very haunted and once in a while something like writing in blood would appear on the walls and sakusa will be like “I JUST CLEANED THAT” 
• the house ends up being less haunted because the ghosts kinda feel bad about making a mess with sakusa working so hard to clean things up
• tldr: buzzfeed house clean-up is basically sakusa cleaning so much that the ghosts are guilt-tripped into not haunting the house anymore

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