person: how is your mental state?

me: 

“Girl you think I give a fuck about this job. I don’t want this job, I want you.”

- Barack Obama

this type of energy 

s2_2104

the signs and their flaws

Aries

Taurus

Gemini

Cancer

Leo

Virgo

Libra

Scorpio

Sagittarius

Capricorn

Aquarius

Pisces

In Prince Caspian Susan literally throws an arrow fast and hard enough to pierce through a man’s armor and kill him. Savage.

What’s even more savage is the way she stabs the first guy in the crotch before using the same arrow to kill the second guy. Susan’s not messing around.

Turn on

#susan pevensie #or her extremely appropriate official title ‘susan the gentle’ 

— Every rapper that is not your boy and who you do not know at all (via immiqrant)

skinny penis

Lmao

IT GOT FUCKING FLAGGED I’M SCREAMING

They’re fearing our resistance

I JUST CHECKED THIS IS REAL IM SCREAMING

Japanese Sumo robots

this is the funniest gif i’ve seen all week what the fuck is going on

the best part is this isn’t even HALF the relentless bullshit insanity that goes on in robot sumo wrestling, a sport where the contestants are all hyperfast robots with scoop attachments and preprogrammed moves. 

(this one wants to be a beyblade when it grows up)

the idea is to include as many unique moves as you can, to make your shrieking deathbot difficult to counter

or dodging. that works too.

also, some of the speed demons have… unorthodox attachments to fool other bot’s sensors

WIIINGS MOTHERFUCKERRRRRRR

robot sumo is also a sport where spectators may end up taking a small robot to the shins if they aren’t careful.

FLYYYYYYY

I hope you enjoyed our foray into madness!

IT GOT BETTER!!!

Y’all. Looking at professionally made sumo robots is great. You know what’s better though? Looking at extremely UNprofessionally made sumo robots.

Here enjoy.

oh my god please watch this video

“she gave up looking for the robot and sent us a photo of her having a beer. the crowd applauded this act of supreme crappiness.”

one robot is just a kleenex box with a bunch of dildos on it, one does nothing but shake a packet of instant soup, i love humanity so much right now

!!!

The goatpocalypse is upon us. (via KTVBJoe)

Updates have since come on this subject; we now know where the goats came from and I gotta tell you, it is better than you could possibly imagine.  See.

These goats got loose from a goat rental service.

You may be thinking, who rents a goat?  Who rents a hundred goats?  What are they for?

They’re for eating.

Specifically, they’re for eating unwanted, flammable vegetation that can contribute to the spread of wildfires.  Some people whose property tends to grow such vegetation, keep their own goats.  But for some people it works out better to just rent some goats.

So.

These are Professional Eating Goats.  They are trained to thoroughly and methodically scour an area of plantlife.  And they came to the suburbs.

And they did their jobs.

I’m so proud of them.

moral of the story is…..being racist and bitter makes you age like milk

this bitch is FORTY THREE????

theres this chinese girl in my class who isnt very fluent in english and she asked me if i have a boyfriend and i was like “i dont. i dont like. boys” and she nodded very wisely and went “ah. cooties”

EMERGENCY: HEDGEHOG ON A TINY CAMPING TRIP?!?!?!!!!! When I saw these pictures from hedgehog_azuki on instagram I was like EXCUSE ME WHAT and now I’m a different, more virtuous person who has been shown the glowing face of humanity’s truest potential and is forever changed by its everbearing gifts. Also it cleared my skin.

Me on sugar baby hotline: “So yeah, I’d love to have a sugar daddy, just, i don’t really want to have sex or have him touch me ever, and I don’t really wanna wear makeup or pose for fancy pictures or flirt with him or anything, is there anyone who just wants to watch me eat an insane amount of pasta and give me thousands of dollars so I can afford my fancy lifestyle of affording rent and medical bills and the occasional splurge… hello? ……… HELLO?