Well, everyone calls me Panic Petunia, but my real name is Samantha…? I think…
Sam Mewis
Media: So your coaching failed?
Jill: It didn’t fail, it was pre-successful.
Alex: You're clearly not listening. I can say whatever I want.
Tobin: Tell me about it.
Alex: I murdered Ash last night.
Tobin: I feel you.
Alex: Now that I have the taste for blood, I can't stop murdering.
Tobin: Been there.
Alex: Is that a centipede on your shirt? That’s what you went with?
Christen: Centipedes are agile and fierce, like us. You could say we are human centipedes.
Alex: I told you not to use that term. You didn’t watch the movie, did you?
Christen: It was in the horror section!
Carli: I’ve come to offer you some friendly advice.
Becky: I really don’t want your advice.
Carli: Well, then consider it unfriendly advice.
Sonnett: I sure showed those refs, huh?
Sonnett: Did you see how uncomfortable they got when I started crying?
She’s my best friend, she’s like a sister to me, but she’s a disaster.
Christen (about Kelley)
Mal: Maybe the real pay equality was the friends we made along the way!
Becky: No, I want my fucking money.
Help! Christen keeps sending me snaps and texting me “check your snapchat ;-)” but it’s just pictures of her dog.
Tobin
[Sky Blue Locker Room]
Carli: We have fun, don’t we?
Kailen: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life.
Christen: Do you have your electric toothbrush?
JJ: Uh huh.
Christen: Flat iron?
JJ: Uh huh.
Christen: Headbands?
JJ: Uh huh.
Christen: 85 spf sunscreen for your truly precious pores?
JJ: Uh huh.
[Tobin arriving at PSG]
Lindsey: Do you speak French?
Tobin: I have seen a few scenes of that candlestick speaking in Beauty and the Beast.
Kristie: Here’s the rest of your clothes. I went ahead and labelled the box “what were you thinking?”
Sam: That’s funny.
Sam: I was just about to go write the same thing on Rachel.
You have to remember something: we’re dealing with rookies. They need to be terrified. It’s like mother’s milk to them. Without it, their bones won’t grow properly.
Carli
Kelley: Christen, is this just your way of telling me that you had a huge crush on me in college?
Christen: Kelley. No.
Kelley: Come on! You’re madly in love with me.
[The team is down at halftime]
Becky: What are we going to do?
Mal: I could start a fire.
Becky: No! But keep that in your back pocket.
Jill: I don't know why you won't tell me where the party is.
Kelley: Because you'll show up.