Orange Shades of Me
Color You Mine Drabble. Part 5.
Set between 1318 (Bring ‘em Back Alive) and 1320 (Unfinished Business). Gabriel x Female Reader. Warnings: Angst mostly
Let me know if you want to be tagged! Gabe’s Babes. <3
You were chasing the feeling of mint again. That fresh and bright happiness.
No matter what you did you hadn’t been able to find it on your own.
So it was time to find your friends.
Dean and Sam had picked up from a bus stop when you’d called them. Neither asked why you looked washed out and sad, though Sam had struggled with it for a while. Instead the ride back to the bunker was spent full of inane chatter and classic rock music. It was familiar, this normalcy a sherbet wash of something akin to happiness.
Late that night, you were unable to sleep…. again. It was hard not being wrapped around the archangel. You’d spend days and days falling into bed with him, that now it like the bed was empty without him.
So instead you stood and went to talk to the boys. Neither of them slept well either. And you knew that you’d have to tell them you’d seen Gabriel.
On fuzzy socked feet, you padded quietly through the halls to the library. Just as you entered the doorway you overheard Dean telling Sam not to ask. They’d been talking about you. “She’ll tell us if she needs to talk, Sammy. Just let her be.”
A feeling of warmth and affection, like pumpkin spice, washed through you at their concern. The boys were so full of love, even if the world had a hard time seeing it.
You cleared your throat, drawing the boy’s gazes to you. Sam had the good sense to look abashed at being caught talking about you. But Dean just tipped his beer toward you in invitation to join them. Same old Dean.
Once you were settled, hands fidgeting with your necklace in nervousness – a needle of tangerine, you finally started talking. “I saw him.”
The brothers didn’t speak, but you could tell their edginess at the taste of information.
Sam started to ask, but Dean held a hand up, stopping him.
“He’s not the same. I don’t know if he’ll ever be the same…..” You fought back at your own mixed emotions to continue. “He’s not….. He needs time to heal. The years in hell really messed with him.”
“So he’s not coming back?” Sam finally broke in.
“I don’t know. It’s like he’s lost who he was from before. Or maybe it’s more accurate to say he’s reverted to some prior version of himself. I mean, he’s still Gabriel, just different.” You nibbled at your lip, considering.
“Is different bad?” Dean asked quietly.
“Not really….” You sighed, trying to conceptualize your mixed emotions for Gabriel into words. “He’s a bit rougher, darker, more viscous. There are still hints of the angel we knew.”
What you didn’t say was that you didn’t regret your time with him. How addicted you were to him. How you missed the taste of him on your lips – a burning need like ginger to taste him again.
The problem was that even though you loved him like this, he didn’t love you. Couldn’t. Or so you thought.
Yet he’d still been texting you. And ever damn time your phone vibrated a coral colored flush of eagerness came over you as you dashed to check if it was him again. Not that you’d texted back. You weren’t sure how to deal with your own desire for him. Like if you answered it would admitting defeat, and you might go running back to him.
“So, we continue looking.” Dean muttered, “We need him, even if he doesn’t need us.” His statement caused a burst of laughter from your lips, humor a touch of mango. Well if that didn’t sum up your situation with Gabriel, you didn’t know what did.
“Can you tell us where you saw him?” Sam asked.
You wouldn’t tell them where you first saw him. Or tell them about how much time you’d spent with him. How many nights you’d curled up against him. But you could tell them where you’d left him. And you did.
Eventually, Sam slowly steered the conversation to other things.
Days later, after you’d left the boys to continue their hunt for Gabriel alone, and decided to take some time for yourself. You were curled up with a book, reading for fun.
Dean, Sam, and even Castiel had left chasing a couple leads. Something about a guy dying in an alley. The only thing you’d be chasing at the moment were memories.
But sitting on your bed, your phone vibrated with a message that sent a thrum of marmalade colored hope, something solid and real, through you:
‘I have some unfished business to take care of, then I’ll come home.’