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just a silly goober

@enby-raccoon / enby-raccoon.tumblr.com

Azathoth, they/it
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You may call me Raccoon or Az (short for whatever you like)

Pronouns are they/them, it/its, and ae/aer (any other pronouns are also acceptable if we're friends)

I'm 18, minors are welcome at their discretion

current hyperfixations: Elden Ring, Homestuck, and Dungeon Meshi

Discord is enbyraccoon, display name is The Raccoon King

Feel free to ask me to tag things, I'm always happy to make my blog more accessible

please tag posts about opioid use

DMs and asks are always welcome

Profile picture is by my late boyfriend, @/miyameowmura

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catbatart

Uh oh, Gamers. I've got a new DnD character. Melete (she/they- pronounced "Mih-lee-tee") is a CN Centaur Dream Cleric for the setting/campaign "Black Ballad" by Storyteller's Forge! The premise is- everyone in the party has died and the adventure takes place in the afterlife.

She began life as a playful, benevolent fey who eased the dreams of human children and led them on fun little adventures through the woods.

As The War (tm) approached her territory, she became progressively more desperate and violent to protect both her fey and the children.

We're starting the game at level 11, so by the time she died (in glorious battle,) she was a guerilla commander/witch leading her fey comrades to sabotage warmachines and kill soldiers.

Anyway, I just came up with her Monday and I am Attached.

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Wait a minute if elves take a hundred years to grow up that has some weird implications.

So… if we say a human comes of age in fantasy worlds at 16, that means it takes an elf 6.25 years to age one human year. If we say the age of maturity is 18 that’s 5.55 years.

So then… okay with people that live a long time have to see their human friends die and probably see them like pets yeah that’s been explored to death. But what about a human just seeing their friend not grow up?

An elf toddler and a human toddler become friends at a playdate. At the time the human is two and the elf is 13. Emotionally the elf is just a little older than the human. But then the human grows up. He grows up and as he grows up his friend doesn’t. Not much, anyways.

She’s still sucking her thumb and throwing tantrums the entire time that he grows up. When he reaches the age where he’d choose a trade or go to an academy he’s earning extra money by babysitting her. During his initiation into adulthood on his 18th birthday she’s there with her parents holding a stuffed animal. Later that afternoon he sees her being shown some colorful flashcards with letters of the elvish alphabet on it by her father.

The human gets older. He learns how to fight, he goes from town to town getting work. At some point he joins the army. Every time he visits his hometown he has at least one more scar and by the time he’s 30 and the elf girl is mentally seven by human standards she starts to understand that something is wrong. Even after he settles down to be a home maker for the local blacksmith something feels wrong.

And she watches him grow old. When she’s in her 80s she babysits his grandchildren for extra cash after school, coming over in her school robes and ruffling his hair. She doesn’t remember why she became friends with this human or when but a strange sense of jealousy fills her heart.

Now she realizes it. She realizes it too late, on the day her friend learns that he is dying. The first day of her 100th year and the start of his last. Humans’ lifetimes may only last for the childhood of an elf if they’re lucky, but they learn so fast. They do so much. They cram their days full of love and hate and learning and wonder.

He knew this was coming. He knew all of this decades before she did, because elves are slow. Not stupid, certainly not stupid, but very very slow. She holds her old friend’s hand as he lays down on his bed. A man that has led such an ordinary life but feels so extraordinary to her. Because he has always, always been there and now he just won’t. Because in her eyes he became so wise so fast and now he’s just gonna be gone.

On an elf’s 100th birthday they are allowed to choose a new name for themselves. It can be important, or not. Usually it will follow them until the end of time. She stands in front of her family’s elders and is asked what name she will be called from now on.

She names herself after him.

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stuckinapril

The most dystopian thing you could do 7 months into a genocide is complain that a genocide is still happening—and it’s even more disgusting when it’s specifically targeted at wanting people to tag Palestinian gofundmes so you can filter them out of your dash. You’re being extremely distasteful when you demand something like that. People are dying.

It’s so crazy seeing the rise of the sentiment that “this has been going on for too long,” except instead of it being focused on the fact that Palestinians are still being liberally genocided (while others face fate worse than death), it’s about posts related to spreading awareness and boosting fundraisers. Like that really should not be the focus of your ire right now. Being disturbed by gofundme posts while the people posting them are dying is actually demented behavior

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yeah yeah girlcock this girlcock that, but are you sitting next to her on the couch when you dont want to fuck her? are you holding her in platonic comfort when shes sad? are you grabbing her by the wrist at the function so she doesnt get separated from the rest of the girls? are you helping her zip up her dress? is she invited to girls night?

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