俺の「すべて」 / All of me

@meimi-haneoka / meimi-haneoka.tumblr.com

30↑, Italian. Fandom blog. CLAMP (CCS is my main) & 90's shoujo manga. YunaAki & SyaoSaku. Proud Momoist. In this house Akiho & Kaito are loved unconditionally so if you have a problem with that, steer clear. Currently celebrating CCS 25th anniversary! I post translation differences between the ENG and JP versions of the Clear Card chapters with the tag #translation differences (it seems I have CLAMP's blessing for that), and always love to discuss theories & aspects of the story! When CCS is featured I post reports of CLAMP Spaces/Podcasts too. Tag for my art: #my fanarts Tag for my YunaAki writing: #spilled words

Clear Card Trivia 3 ~ Sakura's journey of growth and self-understanding throughout Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card

Hello and welcome back to my "Clear Card Trivia" series, a collection of informative posts where I delve into certain aspects of the story of Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card! ✨

The topic I will talk about today has been on my "to-do list" for long time. It's something I felt the need to talk about, and I won't hide the reason why: the desire to fully eviscerate this topic grew particularly after reading around certain criticism of Clear Card Arc. But also after listening to CLAMP's Twitter Spaces, particularly the ones towards the end of the story.

It's something that, setting aside my obvious love for the new characters, will always make me think that Clear Card Arc has been a very welcome addition to the series.

This post will delve into Sakura's growth throughout Clear Card Arc.

Sakura grew up considerably during the story, and had a character development that sadly not many people truly realized.

I'm not talking about an evolution of the character design which, despite changing and evolving throughout the story (as it's expected for a long-running serialization), kept depicting Sakura consistently with quite young looks...no, I'm talking about her mental growth, in relation to her self-knowledge and her relationship with her magic powers.

A journey that might almost feel "frustrating", because it is full of "up and downs", and Sakura sometimes seems to be taking one step forward and two back. Aside from the obvious practical reasons (the plot had to develop several other storylines simultaneously), it very much reflects the realistic growth of a pre-teen, which is never a straight line but is made of improvements and relapses.

Along the journey, I couldn't really avoid mentioning some bits of the development of Sakura's relationship with Syaoran, which will get its own deep and detailed post another day.

There's also an extra about the significance of the Clear Cards in the story, at the end.

I have to be honest, the post is very long, but I tried to insert visual elements to make it easier on the eye. If you're curious to know how the hell I found so much to talk about for this specific topic, follow me under the cut and dive into Sakura's journey throughout Clear Card (it's also a good way to review the story)! ✨

#card captor sakura #cardcaptor sakura #clear card arc #ccsakura #sakura card captor #clamp #sakura kinomoto #syaosaku #clear card trivia #I hope this post will make you look at Clear Card from another perspective #I'm sorry for the length but I really wanted to make a deep dive

Do you guys ever think about how many times CLAMP tiptoe around the word "death", in Clear Card? (you: what kind of question is that???)

Because it's an awful lot.

The actual verb 死ぬ (to die), the classical one, is never mentioned* to indicate "death", and I totally see the reasons why: mainly target and "world view" of the series (lord, if there's something I learned during these 8 years of observing the reactions from the JP fans is that the 世界観, the "world view" is EVERYTHING and if the authors dare doing something that goes against it, they won't forgive them. Especially for a series rooted deep in everybody's childhood).

* (Actually, it is used in chapter 43 in a funny skit with Kero, Suppy and Nakuru, where Kero says "I thought I would die!!!" because he's too embarrassed by the SyaoSaku scene he had to forcefully witness hidden in Sakura's bag 😂but it's a foolish scene)

I think the first time where they actually start to dangle it in our faces is in chapter 28, when they make Momo scream in panic: "If you rewind that far, the repercussions will be immesurable!!" and then Kaito confirming right after "Time magic shortens the caster's lifespan".
命を削る indeed means "to shorten one's lifespan", and what else does that mean, if not that he's killing himself little by little, by using time magic? Sure, magicians have a longer lifespan, but...
Another instance where they make us "sniff" the smell of death but they don't serve the actual meal is in chapter 33, when Kaito goes out in the garden to counter the attack coming from the Association. He condescendingly says 力不足と己の身が滅ぶのを恐れて, mocking them for not including time magic in their collective attack because they're afraid their power won't be enough and they'll literally wreck their bodies in the process. Kaito doesn't straight up say "they're afraid to die", but the verb 滅ぶ means "to perish, to be ruined, to be destroyed" and we all saw what effects time magic had on Kaito's body. He's basically calling them p*ssies, yes.
And excuse me, but the most apparent one....when Kaito (or the Clan) says multiple times "Her soul will break", should Akiho write on herself more power than her body can sustain....isn't that just a very generous way to avoid saying "Akiho WILL DIE" to not scare the young readers away? Because, think about it...if her soul breaks...what is left of her? What is left of Akiho, as we know her? Yes, just a shell, a corpse for use and consumption of the Association/Clan, exactly.
And what to say about the scene of chapter 41 when Nadeshiko is trying to mom-talk Kaito into reason and the guy answers "I guess it's because I'm getting closer to become the same kind of entity as you", meaning, a ghost??? Hence, he's basically saying "I'm about to die"? I always snicker when I read that part because I'm like "OH COME ON, CLAMP, MAKE HIM SAY THE WORD" 😂
Another instance where the characters dance around the concept of death is in chapter 51, when Momo gets to have this very mom-son talk with Kaito (yes, exactly, Kaito set into motion several mother figures throughout the story - Lilie, Momo, Nadeshiko herself - that should tell you SOMETHING). Momo is trying to make him understand that he's literally betted his life away when he made the contract with her, so that should give him an idea of how important this mission is to him, and for whom he's doing this for. She says "When you made the contract with me, you revealed your true name. We could say I hold your heart as magician in the palm of my hand". Here Momo is basically already mentioning the concept I've been saying time and time again when Kaito revealed his true name to Akiho in chapter 80: in CLAMP works, revealing your true name to someone is like placing the most vulnerable part of yourself in their hands. The "imagery" Momo suggests here is actually pretty disturbing: the word 心臓 (heart) is the one commonly used to indicate the actual organ, more than "heart as core of the emotions", and so what she's suggesting is that at any moment, without notice, she might close that hand and crush his heart, basically killing him. Of course Momo would never do that, but she wants to remind him of what damned situation he's put himself in, how far he went for the person he still isn't ready to recognize at this point of the story.
I think the closer they went to say the "forbidden word" was when Lilie in chapter 72 explained to Sakura the extent of her premonitory dreams: "I know things that will happen shortly ahead...things way far ahead in the future...and even things that will happen when I'll be gone".
Another instance where they TOTALLY dance around the real situation (that is, Kaito should've been dead-dead-dead by then) is in chapter 80 when Eriol explains to Akiho what Kaito had been doing: I'm not sure if it's Eriol who sugarcoated it in his speech, or Akiho herself while recounting it to Sakura, but she says "He messed with lots (of dangerous magic), so his condition wasn't supposed to be that good", another polite way to say "he should've been dead by now". In fact, what's keeping him alive is literally the fact that the pocket watch (and therefore, his time) is frozen for now.

And sometimes I wonder if the "unhappiness" or "grief" that Yelan foresaw for Sakura, in the eventuality she couldn't gain control of her own powers, included....death too....NAAAAAAAHHHH

(well, I mean, who didn't think of THAT when they made Kaito say that he could see Nadeshiko because he was close to dying?? Well knowing that Sakura could suddenly see her too?? they did that on purpose jfc)

#card captor sakura #ccsakura #clear card arc #just very randomly musing about stuff #I've been keeping tabs of how many times they've danced around the concept of death in this arc #and it's surprisingly a lot #lmao I feel like Barbie asking THAT question while they're dancing in the movie #but fear not cause even like this the arc never crosses the line #it's like saying well it's time for children to get accustomed with the concept and we'll gradually start to introduce it #gently very gently #but it's useless to keep avoiding it forever #I mean we got someone who was literally throwing his life away as one of the main characters and themes in this arc #sooo...

When I said "this post is going to become so long I'll have to split it into two", it was because in my Trivia post n. 3 I originally thought to include the development and growth of Sakura and Syaoran's relationship too.......and then I fully realized what kind of two beasts I was about to deal with and I was like "no way, these need each their own post" They both refer to Sakura's overall growth, but power+self understanding and her relationship with her boy deserve all the right attention and care in two dedicated, separate post.

I'm not sure if it'll be the next one I'll write or if I'll do something similar for YunaAki first....cause honest to god, the times when I got distracted and pulled into YunaAki's story while I was reviewing Sakura's journey were more than one....more than two....more than three, even. 😅

Can't deny my bias even when I'm working on something else I love....

Another post that I ABSOLUTELY need to do, and might take precedence over all the others, is the one about the significance of food in Clear Card, and all the handmade things. Tamagoyaki, macarons, chocomint... You have no idea how grating it was to see during the past 8 years all those comments mocking the presence of food in Clear Card, and presenting it as an irritating flaw in the narrative structure because "it wasted time", when it was clear as hell people weren't understanding the role of food in this story at all. This one should hopefully be shorter so I might address that topic first.

#honestly there's so much to talk about #I know these posts will attract less attention now that the story is over because people like to move on #but no #I'll be here #I'll still be here ranting even when the party is over

meimi-haneoka reblogged

Clear Card Trivia 3 ~ Sakura's journey of growth and self-understanding throughout Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card

Hello and welcome back to my "Clear Card Trivia" series, a collection of informative posts where I delve into certain aspects of the story of Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card! ✨

The topic I will talk about today has been on my "to-do list" for long time. It's something I felt the need to talk about, and I won't hide the reason why: the desire to fully eviscerate this topic grew particularly after reading around certain criticism of Clear Card Arc. But also after listening to CLAMP's Twitter Spaces, particularly the ones towards the end of the story.

It's something that, setting aside my obvious love for the new characters, will always make me think that Clear Card Arc has been a very welcome addition to the series.

This post will delve into Sakura's growth throughout Clear Card Arc.

Sakura grew up considerably during the story, and had a character development that sadly not many people truly realized.

I'm not talking about an evolution of the character design which, despite changing and evolving throughout the story (as it's expected for a long-running serialization), kept depicting Sakura consistently with quite young looks...no, I'm talking about her mental growth, in relation to her self-knowledge and her relationship with her magic powers.

A journey that might almost feel "frustrating", because it is full of "up and downs", and Sakura sometimes seems to be taking one step forward and two back. Aside from the obvious practical reasons (the plot had to develop several other storylines simultaneously), it very much reflects the realistic growth of a pre-teen, which is never a straight line but is made of improvements and relapses.

Along the journey, I couldn't really avoid mentioning some bits of the development of Sakura's relationship with Syaoran, which will get its own deep and detailed post another day.

There's also an extra about the significance of the Clear Cards in the story, at the end.

I have to be honest, the post is very long, but I tried to insert visual elements to make it easier on the eye. If you're curious to know how the hell I found so much to talk about for this specific topic, follow me under the cut and dive into Sakura's journey throughout Clear Card (it's also a good way to review the story)! ✨

#selfreblog #I kinda had a couple of things to get off my chest lol #clear card arc

My guilt keeps telling me "Cinzia, if you don't cut and make this post shorter people will be less inclined to read it and your purpose will be wasted"

But I can't bring myself to, I can't I can't I can't. I can't cut, anywhere, I need to unravel this in its entirety or I feel like the the real core of the topic won't be conveyed clearly enough. 🤦‍♀️

I have seriously no idea how some people can say there's nothing to this particular topic, when there's so much to say behind each gradual progression of the plot.

At least I'm using pictures and dividers to make the experience easier on the eye.

#I know I will end up repeating myself in some parts of the post #but I feel like some concepts need to be repeated and engraved in people's skulls

my god what I've put myself into...

I'm writing another Clear Card Trivia post and it's getting so long that I'm afraid I'll have to split it into two 😂

Well, it's understandable. It addresses.....Sakura's growth throughout Clear Card. Yeah I really need to write this one out.

#my gosh I realized I haven't being digging into Sakura's character for long time #in the past 3 years I've been writing and reading mostly about YunaAki because they were the most misunderstood ones #but I have to say this aspect is one that needs to be explored and written out #especially now that the series is over and the picture is complete #god there's so much I want to write about but I'm just one and the things I want to do are too many #with little time and little energy #I want to write also about the things I didn't like in Clear Card #YES OMG guess what I have things I didn't like too #I just don't make a big deal out of them #cause they're a very small part compared to everything this story's got to offer

🥺🥺🥺🥺 oooh these tags on the reblog of my Cosmos one-shot! 💜💜💜

Thank you dear!! I'm so honored you chose my fics to cheer you up?? 🙈🙈🙈 This is definitely a nice feeling I'm not used to!! Thank you!! 🥹 Re-read them to your heart's content! (I hope I can write one more soon 🤭 this one is gonna be a bit more.. mischievous )

#I woke up to these tags and my day riddled with PMS immediately got better #love this mutual healing with lovely people ❤️

doublechocolate asked:

i'm also puzzled when people say they don't know when Sakura begin to have feelings for Syaoran cause it's actually quite obvious when you begin to read between the lines. the way she expresses her feelings for Syaoran and Yukito are very different, and i think that's why it's easy to miss sometimes. the reason behind it, i think, is because she knows her feelings for Yukito and expresses it outwardly. but in Syaoran's case, she doesn't her own feelings either yet. she's not even aware of what it's growing into, and so her reactions are more subtle. almost like her heart is subconsciously doing what it does.

but there are lots of moments where Sakura's reactions toward something Syaoran does is remarkably different than it is with someone else.

one example comes from the anime; Sakura's reaction towards the news of Meilin leaving in episode 43 and to the lingering idea of Syaoran leaving in episode 47 are very different. while she's sad in both cases, notice how her expression is different when it concerns Syaoran. there's a sense of loneliness and desolation.

another example i can think of is her body language. she's incredibly comfortable around Syaoran during the Sakura Card Arc and the way she literally BEAMS with a smile every time he shows up to help her. i'm currently doing a rewatch and typing down my observations on my priv twitter acc, and i can't wait to see what else i can pick up when i start reading the manga again.

okay now i'm gonna go cry because of how much i love these two magical bbs ;;;

Yes, I think so too, Sakura gives a lot of signs throughout the OG manga too, like all the times she instinctively hugs Syaoran??? That's one of the biggest signs....when she's happy or scared, she always instinctively looks for his arms ❤️

But I think the biggest and strongest sign for me was precisely one of the panels I've posted previously...the one where she says that she just knew that the Valentine chocolate she found in her mailbox was made by Syaoran! Without a tag or anything! Like, that is already on another level.

The way CLAMP depicts love connections is so magical. It's like your bond to someone is so strong that it makes you recognize them in any condition, any form. Even if you can't see them in that precise moment.

Even if they're appearing as, I dunno, a dragon. 😉

It's like your special someone got an "aura" of their own and your love for them enables you to see it at any time.

It's the kind of stuff that makes me sigh in awe and romance. 🥰

#reply #ccsakura #💚🩷#cosmos & crystals

Anonymous asked:

>Still no news about CCS: CC season 2

Trust me, you would know if there was anything. I would post about it here and pin it to my blog.

#reply #please let's not send these asks every 15 days now that the manga is over #I know we were all waiting in expectation for April 1st but CLAMP said in the latest Space that it will still take a while #even though the announcement will CERTAINLY come #but it doesn't depend on them they've been pretty clear about that #Kodansha if you're there make a noise

tim-ribbert-56 asked:

I know you do mainly ccs stuff but I figure I ask this sense I saw some sailor moon stuff on your blog

I was rewatching sailor stars and I cam across episode 7 I realised

Sailor moon in the 90s anime is a lot more forgiving in the anime and has no kill rule to her while in the manga she seemed pretty OK killing off her enemies now yes she has killed before in the anime buts that's like rare exceptions and it only for really evil people like queen beryl

Now, personally, I don't think she should kill considering she's meant to represent love and kindness but tell do you think sailor moon should have a no kill rule?

Ahhh I'm sorry, I have to admit that I haven't been touching Sailor Moon related stuff for a long time, especially regarding the original anime series and manga...it is definitely one of the anime/manga that defined my childhood and teenage years, but ever since CCS came back with Clear Card, I've took gradually my distance from the Sailor Moon world and my knowledge of the plot is pretty rusty now, particularly for the manga. I can't really make a well informed discussion about this because I literally don't remember many parts of the manga...I only remember that it was way darker and horrifying than the anime, particularly for the last arc. And maybe that's why Sailor Moon seems more "unhinged" and "ruthless" than the anime. I do remember that in the anime she was pretty adamant about not wanting to kill anyone, though. Sorry for not being much of help!

tim-ribbert-56 asked:

So I was watching episode 6 and I came across the scene where sakura almost dies from the illusion card before being saved by her mom

In the manga, she's at a festival of her friends, and the illusion card is under water, so she goes and sees her mom, and in her eagerness to be with her she pops the bubble she was in and almost drowns

In the anime, it's in a forest, and the illusion card appears to have some sort of hypnotic trance in her which causes sakura to fall before being saved by her mom

Personally, I prefer the anime version mainly because when I read the manga chapter, it just seems weird that after being saved, Sakura doesn't ask "hey why did mom nearly let me drown" I mean yeah I'm glad she's happy to see her but still the anime version seemed to give hypnotic trance towards her like she was telling her to come closer

But tell me do you prefer the manga or the anime version of this scene

I don't know, I think I like them both, maybe I slightly prefer the manga version because it shows Sakura's feelings for her mom better! 😊Even if they were putting her in danger, it felt more "genuine"!

#reply #ccsakura

I'm going to randomly copy and paste some musings I wrote on my private account on Twitter, cause I find it kinda amusing and I want to share it here too :3

"The moon is really beautiful, isn't it?"

"Because it's something about you, Akiho-san."

Kaito's behavior in the special chapter might appear "new" and sudden, but he's actually always been throwing "bombs" at Akiho, exposing his feelings just like it was the most natural and normal thing. 🤭❤️ The only difference is that now he understands what those feelings are 😁

Like, I can totally expect that one day in the future he'll just go "One day, when we'll be married..." completely out of nowhere while they're chatting & having dinner and Akiho will struggle to not choke on her plate 😂😂😂 Yeah, somehow I don't see very flashy kind of proposals from either of them, probably cause they've been through enough "out of ordinary" shit that normal and comforting is what makes their heart beat the fastest, and makes them the happiest ❤️

In this regard, I'll say once again that Kaito totally reminds me of Sakura. The way they can just blurt out their feelings in such a nonchalant, almost naive way, while not fully understanding what they are. Here Sakura is basically doing the same thing Kaito did throughout Clear Card! Saying stuff like that ☝️ and yet not understanding that she was falling in love with him herself. 😁

The nonchalant way in which Sakura and Kaito's feelings surface makes people misunderstand them for "friendship" or common affection, throughout their respective arcs. Like, I can't count how many times I've seen people say they didn't understand when Sakura started to fall in love with Syaoran, and that the realization at the end felt too sudden. It's because, as usual with Clamp, you have to pay attention to what they're NOT spelling out. That's what happened with Kaito too. 🤷‍♀️ People couldn't see that he's been literally spelling out his feelings himself since long time (that's why Momo got mad! Like "how can you say something like that and not REALIZE IT??"), they got sidetracked by the idea he was a villain (and therefore just manipulating and using her), and then by his relationship with Lilie (all stuff Clamp did on purpose, mind you, cause it was too soon for you to be sure of it yet). It's been clear for a long time, but in their Spaces lately CLAMP reiterated how they love to keep their readers guessing and on their toes till the end, so in my opinion they won't hesitate to try to sidetrack you a little bit along the way (but if you stick closely, you'll understand what's the real deal). I guess with Sakura they tried to sidetrack with her crush on Yukito. 😁

So yeah, I've been saying multiple times during the serialization how those two gave me such a similar vibe (and that maybe helped Sakura empathize with him).

Akiho is quite straightforward too, especially after she found her own confidence and voice, but I was just thinking that Syaoran is quite the opposite instead, he's very conscious of his feelings and even in Clear Card, he had to prepare himself days in advance before managing to ask Sakura, stuttering and all, for a date himself 😂 Thankfully, at the end of the special chapter he was able to make his own romantic statements without getting too flustered 😆 (at long last, after 2 years of dating! 😂)

#cosmos & crystals #clear card arc #ccsakura #💚🩷#my random musings because people need to see the connections between Sakura and Kaito #I think they're so interesting considering they're two VERY powerful magicians #but also the parallels and connections between the OG and Clear Card that too many people still insist in denying #Sakura was able to gently scold Kaito into acknowledging his bond with Akiho in ch. 77 #precisely because she went through the same turmoil HERSELF #understanding yourself ISN'T easy especially for some people

aubretia23 asked:

Hey there Cinzia! It's been a while. I had been busy with some personal stuff but I just finished reading your April 1st updates regarding CCS. Somehow, it is slightly upsetting to read that Tomoyo won't be making clothes for people other than Sakura. I dunno. Like I understand making for Sakura is a way for her to express her love for her but she has also made costumes for the play and for Syaoran. So I find it surprising for CLAMP to say that. Or am I misunderstanding stuff out here?

Heeeey Aubretia!! Nice to see you again 🥰 I did think "uh, I haven't seen Aubretia in a while 🤔" and I had guessed you were busy, it's totally relatable 😅

I confirm, from the other ask you've sent, that we have concretely no news about the anime, but CLAMP did say "hold on a little more" so here we are, waiting and waiting 😅also because it seems it doesn't really depend on them, it's Kodansha the ones who have to make the announcement.

Hmmm for Tomoyo, well, you have to consider they were talking about an hypothetical situation where Touya would be "the chosen one", the one involved with all the magic shenanigans. If Touya had been the one with the task of capturing the cards, and considering how Tomoyo only got this polite relationship with him as Sakura's brother (I know they're cousins too but let's be honest, they haven't interacted for most of their life at that point), but not much beyond that, it would feel a bit out of place for her to go all the way and sew costumes for him...especially considering Sakura would be oblivious to her brother's activities 😂

Tomoyo effectively got introduced in the events of "our" CCS just because of Sakura and her bond with her...even when she expanded her costumes production, you can trace it back to Sakura. Syaoran, the play, etc...there's always Sakura involved. However, she's teaching Akiho how to sew for her practice on the book binding, and that's something that seems to be disconnected from Sakura. Still, it's not a costume, that requires a looooottttt of effort and time and resources and I have to be honest, only Sakura can give her the right driving force to do that, even in the case of Syaoran or the play! 😅

But what I really think was happening in that Space is that in their game of "what ifs", CLAMP just wanted an excuse to say that it would be YUKITO the one making the outfits 😂since Touya is his most important one and all 😉I found so endearing that in their idea, Yukito would try to make them anyway even though he's not particularly skilled at sewing 😂that's love 😁

tim-ribbert-56 asked:

Hi

This is my first question and it's been one I've been thinking about for a while

I've been thinking about this idea of sakura using the return card to go back in time and try to prevent her mother death now if you had to make a epsiode out of this concept how would you do it and what would the story be like?

Hello! Hummm, we're talking about the anime side since it's about Return. I'm not sure to be honest, because that would go against everything CLAMP have always claimed in their stories, that is, the deads cannot come back. Once you're gone, you're gone. So, they wouldn't make Sakura do something like trying to go back in the past to bring her mother back...it would represent a regression for the character herself, as Sakura seemed to have already accepted the situation back in the Illusion episode of the Clow Card Arc, when she said "yes, I miss her, but I prefer to know she's in a nice place now". Besides, nothing but bad things would come out of an attempt like that...I shudder just at the thought 😬this is not an "episode" material, it's stuff for an entire arc 😅

Hmm so no, I wouldn't want to make an episode of this. 😅

Anonymous asked:

I know Clear Card (manga at least) is ended but I still don't understand how the Clear Cards have their eyes opened unlike the Clow Cards who have their eyes closed.

Uhm, difference in design? A wish to differentiate them? It doesn't have to have a super-deep plot related reason 😅

pluckingstarsoffmoontrees asked:

I’m sorry I said some unpleasant things to you earlier.

Your answer made me think about a lot of things I hadn’t thought before, both about CLAMP and Clear Card ? So thank you

I'm going to reply to this one immediately because I've been thinking for the past hour whether to reblog that post again and reply to your questions, or leave it be as I had said 😅

I'm sorry if I came across as irritated too, but the reason why I (and I think the other fan you reblogged from too) feel so over the edge about this topic is because it's been very difficult lately to interact with certain corners of the fandom without slipping into a puddle of negativity feeding on negativity, over matters that concretely no one of us can do anything about.

Sometimes I have the impression people see only the "artwork producing" side of Clamp and forget that they are human beings too, with their own wishes but most importantly, reasons and circumstances we know nothing about. And I have the impression the ease with how fans insult them might stem from (temporarily?) forgetting about that. It's so easy especially on the internet.

I don't know what perception you have of Clear Card and how much of what's been going on reaches other sides of the general Clamp fandom, but in 7 years and half many things changed, and I changed my perception too.

It might be absurd to think about that now, but there was a period early on when I also thought Clear Card could be here only as a commercial opportunity and I couldn't feel the love in the story. Turns out, I was probably influenced by external factors but most importantly, I hadn't reached the core of the story yet. I hadn't touched what was one of the biggest thematics they would talk about and I didn't understand yet what they were trying to do with this series, what risks they've taken to develop and portray properly those parts (like creating new characters that had importance and influence on the plot as much as the main character herself).

It's been 7 long, bumpy and difficult years of complaints in & out the CCS fandom, and the English official translation didn't help at all since it skewed most of the portrayal of the new characters. Now the last volume is out and I'm checking the comments of the Japanese fans, and lots of people who had dropped the series for the reasons I told you before are now satisfied with how the series ended.

A character in Clear Card says "when given the reason to change, no one can ever stay the same" and that's something we really need to remember more often. People, things, situations change. And what initially was discussed as just a one-shot to promote the start of the anime project, quickly changed into a full fledged and complex manga series. Ohkawa was probably struck with inspiration for a good story and thought it would've been a pity to develop it only through an anime, she wanted for them to tell that story with their own hands.

I also want to quickly address something you said in your reblog that I hadn't seen before.

For a lack of a better word, "fetish" to me means everything that encompasses your inclinations when you read a story. Those that make you go 😍 about it. It can be anything, big hands, wide shoulders, even kisses or the request for a wedding: I've seen over the years the most disparate complaints and even insults, sometimes, over those things. Like how Clamp didn't know how to draw anymore just because they didn't stay stuck in the past with their 90's shoulders and their art style is constantly changing depending on the themes of the story. It should be something to praise them for, because they're evolving and always keeping up to date with the trends, they're not stagnant.

I'm not saying we can't wish to see those things in their stories, what I said is that we can't expect them to live and work in the function of satisfying those requests for us. They should be free to write and draw what they really want to portray.

If I was able to make you see another side of the situation, I can only be glad about it! Thank you for your ask.

meimi-haneoka reblogged

I know my last report is so long...and technically, I could've summarized so many of those info in shorter paragraphs.

But it's all intentional. I really wanted to write their dialogues out as far as possible, because I've noticed something in the fandom. I'm pretty sure this is not limited to CLAMP but to 'public figures' in general, especially on the internet.

I've noticed a sort of tendency to dehumanize these four women. Sometimes I come across comments that make my skin crawl. People calling them names, insults, "these old hags", people who think these four women should only live to satisfy the fandom's hunger for content, or their fetishes. They don't consider (and even if they do, they do not seem to know what the words 'be indulgent' mean) these are four human beings who have their lives, wishes, preferences, shortcomings, health problems, or even not a 100% great mental space.

I admit I have "joked" with heavy terms in private too, in the past. But lately, especially after they started to open the Twitter Spaces, showing their more "raw, genuine side" to us, and ever since my JP skills allowed me to understand them better, I can't bring myself to do that anymore. It might be because I'm getting old too and I understand painfully well what it means to begin having problems related to age (for memory or even physical pain), and the love and care (and often pain) that lie behind a piece of artwork, but I just can't help empathizing with them. Hearing them joking among each other, knowing how much they care for one another like sisters, hearing them talking so humbly about their work even after such a long time, getting to know when they're feeling sick and knowing their struggles because on the workplace they're like a machine that can work well only if all the components are in good condition...it really really makes you realize how human they are.

I think the turning point for me was when I heard one of the personal Spaces Ohkawa opened every morning for a week, while she was having breakfast, talking about various topics. In one of the firsts, she apologized because you could hear the noise of the washing machine working on the background. It struck me so powerfully. This is not some kind of unapproachable, inaccessible person living on another existential plane, this is a normal, regular human being who writes stories for a job but who's got to do laundry like every other regular person on this earth. They might drink champagne and go to fancy restaurants (but Ohkawa in particular is a fan of McDonald's too) but that doesn't mean that they lost their humanity.

And I found myself not wanting to partake in this stupid game of dehumanizing them anymore. Actually, with my translations, I want to try to make people see what I see too. Make them feel the "vibe" through their own words, because you can understand so much of them through the words they often use. Ohkawa might look like this merciless and whimsical boss, but she actually just loves the stories she envisioned very much, and she's ready to go through a shitstorm to defend her choices on the workplace.

She just feels a bit guilty that when there's criticism of her choices, the work of her colleagues gets dragged down along, but they're all in this together and they stick to one another tightly.

I can only do these translations when it's about CCS because they're exhausting to me and take me so much time, so my "brainrot" helps me push through to finish them. But at least for that, I want to try to do this, when I can.

dimensional-bitch

I am just so glad I stumbled on your blog awhile back. The CLAMP fandom has been...contentious, I guess, for as long as I have known it. I remember reading some LJ post back in the day about how being a fan of X was basically like being in an abusive relationship with CLAMP...not because of the content, mind you, but because of the frequent hiatuses and this particular user not getting exactly what they want when they want it. And I remember thinking that was such a weird take (because who the fuck are you, buddy?) but laughing it off as an attempt at humor that didn't quite land. Lately, though, it seems like these attitudes are the norm and I can't tell if it's my age showing or it's just a shift in the way people view artists generally.

Either way, the constant negativity is grating. CLAMP has published a shit-ton of work by normal mangaka standards -- of COURSE there will be things in there you don't like. Shit, they've published several entire series I don't like, but it has never once occurred to me to like...get mad at them for writing them, or pull a shit-flinging tantrum at their fans because it's not what I waaaaaaanted. And it is just...fucking exhausting that every fan space devolves into that.

Anyway, I'm whining about whining again, so I'll just shut my hypocritical mouth and say thank you for your translations -- I really appreciate them and I looooove your analyses!

I'm glad I met you too ❤️ I feel like we have similar views on several topics, and it's really refreshing to interact with someone who likes other Clamp series and not feeling uncomfortable or belittled, for once. It's so nice to feel you love and understand the series I love too. I completely get what you mean, it wouldn't be a problem for the occasional whining but it's the constant, pounding negativity that drives us further and further from interacting in fandom spaces...because that's what I feel too. We don't need to specify further because we perfectly know what we're talking about and what we have seen around.

That said, I'd better get back to work on some other post (or answering asks 😅) 😆

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