Years ago, you promised your firstborn to a witch. Since then, despite your best efforts, you can’t seem to get laid. The witch is starting to get pretty pissed.

Y’all get together to discuss your options and she starts coaching you on how to get men because she doesn’t want to waste more magic on you without promise of payment. The more time you guys spend together the more you realize you have a bit of a crush on her. Soon you’re sabotaging your dates on purpose to see her again. 

Long story short you fall in love and get married and do the sperm donor thing AND YOUR FIRSTBORN IS HERS BY DEFAULT and you live happily ever after. The end.

Baby cries in the middle of the night

Witch: Ughhhhh. It’s your turn.

You: You bought it. You handle it.

Artist : Mino

Source

Percy, calm the fuck down  (x)

Cool little example of the different vibe of Latinate vs. Germanic roots in English. 

medieval painters: what is a feline? a miserable and fuzzy humanoid perhaps?

english: coconut oil

french: :)

english: oh boy

french: oil of the nut of the coco

IM CRYINGNFN

english: ninety-nine

french: :)

english: oh no

french: four-twenty-ten-nine

english: potato

french: :)

english: oh geez

french: apple of the earth

french: papillon

english: :)

french: don’t

english: beurremouche

French: pamplemousse English: :) French: pls no English: raisinfruit

english: squirrel

german: :)

english: oh dear

german: oak croissant

english: helicopter german: :) english: uh oh german: lifting screwdriver

english: toes

spanish: :)

english: no don’t

spanish : fingers of the feet

english: bowl

spanish: :)

english: oh lordy

spanish: deep plate

english: car

polish: :)

english: i changed my mind

polish:  that which walks by itself

french: coccinelle

UK english: ladybird!

american english: ladybug

french: weird

dutch: :)

french: …what

dutch: the good lord’s little animal

french: …ok

irish, polish and russian: *giggling*

french: …just tell me

irish, polish and russian: GOD’S SMALL COW

seeing a hot guy walk by like

Reblogging for the sheer hilarity of the gif.

It would be a mistake not to

“Four score and one booty ago damn that’s a fine ass”

english: coconut oil

french: :)

english: oh boy

french: oil of the nut of the coco

IM CRYINGNFN

english: ninety-nine

french: :)

english: oh no

french: four-twenty-ten-nine

english: potato

french: :)

english: oh geez

french: apple of the earth

french: papillon

english: :)

french: don’t

english: beurremouche

French: pamplemousse English: :) French: pls no English: raisinfruit

english: squirrel

german: :)

english: oh dear

german: oak croissant

english: helicopter german: :) english: uh oh german: lifting screwdriver

english: toes

spanish: :)

english: no don’t

spanish : fingers of the feet

english: ladybug

russian: :)

english: oh no

russian: god’s cow

english: shark

maltese: :)

english: pls no

maltese: sea dog

English: leopard

Dutch: :)

English: stop 

Dutch: lazy horse

English: glove

German: :)

English: what now

German: hand shoe

English: nostril

German: :)

English: please don’t

German: nose hole

English: crocodile

Vietnamese: :)

English: Don’t do it.

Vietnamese: Ugly fish

I was inspired to make a line-art illustration based on the quote of my favorite author, Mr. Neil Gaiman. :)

The illustration is by yours truly. The quote is from Mr. Neil Gaiman.

I Have List Sleep Over These Kids All Week

This sucks.

Gotta get through.

That sucks - been there, for sure! I hope this long weekend gives you a chance to breathe and process (and sleep!) <3 <3 <3

I was practicing and

[guitar playing]

little one: your phone is stuck inside. your phone is stuck inside. [reaches in guitar for phone]

guitarist, laughing: thank you.

little one: next time be careful with your phone.

That is pure

Did anyone else when they were younger have that mildly uncomfortable moment where they found out that traffic lights aren’t small?

LIKE they look so small from the ground but then you see them up close aND..

SOME OF THESE THINGS ARE SERIOUSLY ALMOST AS BIG AS I AM AND IT MAKES ME SO UNCOMFORTABLE TO THINK ABOUT

... I had no idea.

THIS. ADVERT. OMG.

WE’VE DONE IT WE’VE FINALLY GONE FULL EOWYN and I approve

YES.

also where can  find this music?? Off to search the internet!!

This is why I’m glad you are family –heard the music and went “I WANT TO DANCE TO THIS”

I’ve officially been inspired by a period commercial

What sold me was the inclusion of the ballerina. I mean the rest of it also awesome, sure. But. The acknowledgement of the shit they go through to look that beautiful and graceful and the inclusion of a trad-femme activity, I’m sold.

This is the period commercial we’ve been asking for!

The music is Native Puppy Love by A Tribe Called Red! They’re a Canadian group of First Nations members who blend First Nations music with contemporary genres. You can get their album for free here and you can also donate.

did i just see a visibly butch woman in an ad for period products

that included a bazillion other warrior ladies being badass

holy shit

im in love

this is the first period commercial i’ve ever seen that actually acknowledges that its blood coming out of womens’ vaginas during our periods and not some mysterious blue fluid or other flowery metaphor

Watch: Anti-racism activist Tim Wise traces the historical context of Donald Trump’s use of race

Fall #Educhum Buddies!

Greetings #Educhums!!!

August is the last month for summer buddies so it’s time to start the application process for fall buddies!

You do not need to be a teacher to sign up, for example- I am a college student completing my education degree. If you feel connected to #education, #educhums ect… join!

This exchange does not need to be extravagant or costly, a note of encouragement is always appreciated. I know money can be very tight, so please don’t feel obligated to join or send expensive gifts. 

If you sign up for a buddy, it is asked that you follow through and send something to your assigned #educhum at least once a month. You can remain a secret buddy, or reveal yourself at any time. If you do not feel you can fulfill the requirements, please do not sign up for this round. Nothing is more bummer than having a buddy that doesn’t follow through! We are all responsible adults, I ask that you fulfill this commitment, if you sign up.

This series of buddies will run from September- December 2016.  

To sign-up please fill out this Google Form: 

https://goo.gl/forms/8A5Y9mCRYfcq6mdZ2

DEADLINE FOR SIGNUP is Aug 31, 2016

I hope y’all are just as excited as I am! Please reblog to spread this within our community!

Thank you,

Mishele AKA MagicalMissB

woop woop! didn’t particpiate this summer but ready for fall & all signed up! thanks for organizing, @magicalmissb! <3

SIGN UP! Do It!

Question--

How much do you/did you fellow teachers work after school hours your first year? Did you bring work home with you? Did you stay at school and get work done? I don’t know when to call it quits and put things away for the night because as we all know, there is ALWAYS more stuff for me to do, and I don’t wanna fall into bad workaholic habits, nor do I want to work less than I should be.

(This former high-achiever, straight-A obsessive workaholic student is not sure how to go about this work-life balance now that she’s back in school, I guess. 😁)

I would like advice on this too!! I am always staying way later than I “should”, according to people in other professions and I would like to start my year off with good, healthy, and sustainable habits.

My first year, I usually went home not too long after the end of the school day (30-45 minutes?), but I would spend the evening writing lessons from maybe 8-11 o'clock. Part of this was because I had no curriculum to follow and really no frame of reference for teaching my subject to my very particular population of students, so I had to make literally everything from scratch. I personally preferred to do my work at home, because I was tired of being in the building all day. My suggestion would be to get everything you absolutely need for the next day done, and then put your work down. If you’re feeling really good and motivated, feel free to do more, but ultimately, if you don’t NEED it for tomorrow, then it can wait.

I live alone, and actually less than half a mile from my school. My boyfriend and family are 4 hours away. I always worked as long as I felt like it - at least once a week, I was at school until 7 or 8 in the evening. It worked out for me - no matter how early I went home, I was never productive once I left school. Adhering to a “leave by 5” policy would not have been successful.

I went home and did nothing usually from 4-6/7. Then I would work until 9/10. It wasn’t a great system, but I was terrible at working at school. And a lot of time, I wasted time being inefficient, but mostly I just wasted time agonizing about every decision. But you know, I don’t know how much better I could have done with where I was emotionally. 

Whatever your pattern is, I think try to take the unconscious and make it deliberate. If you never get anything done at X time, instead of beating yourself against the wall trying to, watch a TV show. Take a walk. Call a friend. Do something that will give you permission to not get shit done at that time.