Last updated: April 16th, 2023
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Masterlist
Bucky Barnes
❤ - Fluff | 🔥 - Smut/PWP | 💔 - Angst | 🖤 - Non-con | 🌟 - Personal favourite
Newest fics will appear at the top of this list
As If It Was Really That Easy - There's nothing more painful than wondering what your love could have been. 💔
Come Home - Bucky interrupts your date on Valentine’s Day, asking you to take him back. 💔 ❤
Nothing Breaks Like A Heart - You finally confess your feelings to Bucky, hoping he might like you back. He turns you down. 💔 ❤️ 🌟
Protector - When Steve gets injured on the field protecting you, Bucky lashes out at you from fear of seeing you in danger, and jealously of Steve’s arms around you. 💔 ❤ 🌟
Dirty Little Confession - You and Bucky start dating, and during your first time, he tells you exactly how he used to fantasize about you. Part 2 to Dirty Little Secret, can be read as a stand-alone. 🔥 🌟
Something to Behold
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: Based on a post by @sebstanwassup and sent to me by the wonderful @chipilerendi . Based off the song Georgia by Vance Joy.
Warnings: Angst. Fluff. Mild smuttish activity/implied smut. Implied PTSD.
Words: 1400+
He hid things.
He didn’t mean to, it was never his intention. He never meant for his soul to be something he stowed away from you, pieces scattered behind his eyes, well-hidden beneath his stoic and often brooding facade.
He hid them in the morning, when he’d trek into your tiny apartment kitchen to find you dancing around inn his shirt to some soft, Sunday morning kind of tune.
He hid them at night, when he’d carry you to bed and spend hours kissing every inch of you, quietly hoping that if you’re crying out his name, you won’t ask why there’s a crinkle in his forehead, a tell-tale sign that he’s thinking too hard and has been for too long.
He kept the hiding places close, retreated to them when he would retreat into himself, drowning in post-nightmare panic or the unmistakable jolt he sometimes had when there was a loud pop; like fireworks or even a champagne cork.
You’d always been one to extend those little arms wide at those times, ask him if he wanted to talk about it. Never pushed hard enough to make him say anything, giving him the respect he wasn’t sure he deserved. Because you cared and he knew it, but he wasn’t sure if he was wearing down your sunshiny resolve, slowly making you lose the sparkle behind your eyes.
You waited for him anyway. And waited. You seemed perpetually prepared to wait for him. He was afraid the day would come when you would finally give up on him and leave for good.
It made him question the hiding places, why he always felt the need to choose them over you. Kind, warm, generous you. Maybe he didn’t want those hiding places, could never be bound to them. Had never reconciled their existence, accepted their place in his heart as he had yours.
Because you are a part of his heart. He feels you with every breath he takes, has you on his mind with every racing thought, memorized to the best extent his memory will allow. The sound of your voice in the morning, when you’d coax him back into bed with your wicked yet innocent eyes; the dimple in your cheek you get when you’re thinking; your brash and bold laugh; the way you make him laugh so easily (sometimes it only took a glance); the way you kissed him and he’d promptly forget everything save for his own name.
They were things he held onto, the things he would choose over the warm and worrying you that was often right in front of him, begging him to tell him what was wrong.
He knew it was better this way. He never wanted to burden you. He didn’t want you to worry, didn’t want him to become a prescient source of anxiety to you.
You’re the good things, Bucky’s decided. The smell that comes after a thunderstorm. The feel of the sun on his face. The warm feeling of laughing too hard. The safety of his journal pages, the only place he could ever seem to tell you the things he wants to without feeling the guilt of dampening your shine.
Because it’s not like he didn’t want to tell you when he came home all those nights, bloodied and bruised, only to find you waiting up on the Commons couch, wearing your adorable reading glasses with your nose buried in a book. Sat beside a pile of his clean clothes you’d put together for him and a first aid kit, ready to be there for whatever ailed him.
He wanted to accept your help, live in it, but he never could. He always flinched when you went to touch him, went to nurse the wounds he’d garnered in fighting things he never really wanted to.
He always wanted to keep you separate from this life.
From HYDRA, the Avengers. Part of him always had to wrestle the urge to amend that list with a third item: James Buchanan Barnes.
But he couldn’t. He could only hold his problems close and urge you in the opposite direction. Because his demons were persistent; had walked beside him for decades. They’d taken up residence in his bones, ached every time he pulled a trigger or threw a punch.
He was a man with a talent for violence, for better or worse. You were a woman with an innate kindness and generosity, an elegance others would tremble to behold. One he felt privileged to touch, to feel.
Neverthless, he’d always been pushing you away, not that he truly wanted it.
He was biting at times, mean. He’d snap and yell or go silent altogether when all you would ask is how he was. He would see the way your smile would fall and the light would dim in your eyes. He’d chastise himself silently, watch from afar. Stop that! Don’t treat her like that! Don’t take her for granted!
He could never listen. God, he could never listen.
You were bold and bright, a jolt that had taken his life and lit it up. If he lost you – had a hand in losing you – his life would dull forever and he may never recover.
It was a powerful hold to have over someone and he couldn’t bring himself to tell you that you had it over him. He knew you’d never take advantage of it, manipulate him like he had been for almost a century, but he was wary.
He couldn’t tell you. He had to work it out…somehow.
So, he wrote it down.
He put it all into words. What he felt for you, the nature of his demons, your hold on his heart. It took up pages and pages in his journal, ensuring you’d have to read it straight from the book. He’d kept it forever and was finally ready for you to see it.
He wrote it all down, despite the voices in his head screaming.
Don’t tell her. She’s too good. You’re going to ruin her, but with this, it’ll be sooner rather than later.
And when he was finished, he sprinted from his bedroom and down into the garage.
He hopped on his bike with the note in his back pocket for safe keeping. Your apartment awaited.
___
He had a key. You’d given it to him with a timid little smile, making a joke about how he was much better security than the old field hockey stick you kept beneath your bed. He’d smiled back, kissing your forehead and attaching the keys to his others with a flourish, just to make you giggle.
He’d been better at hiding the demons back then. Could summon his former self at will; the shameless flirt, the boyish charm. Part of him was convinced that was the part you loved, but he’d always known better.
In his darkness, he was always inconsistent. Your response? Steadfast.
He heard your sobs from the moment he crossed the threshold of your place. He could’ve collapsed. The sound was too much for him, a prescient reminder of every way he’d done wrong by you.
He entered your room and there you were. Puffy eyes, messy hair. Your eyes met his and he wanted to go back. He wanted to revisit every moment you had every tried to get to know him, to memorize him and what made him tick, the way he’d been able to do for you.
You curled into yourself, hiccuping softly as he fell to his knees in front of you.
“Bucky, why won’t you let me in? What am I doing wrong?”
He could tell you. He could push aside the demons, emerge from his hiding places and bolt them up forever. Because you were the love of his life. You were it for him.
And he’d always been right, without even knowing it; if he’d lost you – had a hand in losing you – his life would dull and he would never recover.
“Doll, read this.” He wiped the tears from your soft cheeks. “Read this and I swear… I’ll do better.”
You took the letter from his hands, eyes remaining on it. You wiped them with your hand, reaching over to your nightstand for those big reading glasses. His chuckle was watery, half fond and half crying.
I hide things. I don’t mean to, it was never my intention.
But there are demons I have that I want to keep you safe from. Things that sometimes are simply just…me. I go about it the wrong way, somehow find a thousand different ways to tell you to let it be. And I hope you can forgive me for it.
Because your are all the good things in my life, darling. My bold, elegant, brilliant girl.
I could easily lose my mind without you. I’m not easy, I have no illusions that I am. But I am trying. Struggling, but trying.
I love you and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me and continue to be ever-so patient with me. I’ll do better and I’ll tell you the truth.
Forever yours no matter where you go (and if you stay),
Your James
He watched as you read, hoping and hurting, convinced he’d been complicit in breaking your heart and turning you off to him forever.
Until you looked up, those teary and beautiful eyes finding his as you crawled into his lap, pressing a deep kiss to his lips. Warm, wanting. He felt scorched, a man on fire.
You were his. Thank god.
___
A/N: My first request! Super fun. Thanks to @chipilerendi for sending it to me. I enjoyed putting little breadcrumbs from the song in the prompt into this piece. I’m working on part 3 of Too Attached, which I’m going to do my best to put out tomorrow. Hope you all enjoyed this piece, you should totally give the song a listen, and my requests are still OPEN. Feedback is always appreciated!
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from Marvel or the MCU. Nor do I own the lyrics to the song Georgia by Vance Joy.
Permanent Tags: @lovely-geek
Sam Wilson rightfully calling out White people (including Bucky because he’s not immune to ignorance and racism)
ALSO CRUCIAL:
the falcon and winter soldier spoilers out of context
I made a thing...
(also plz don't repost, but rebloggings a-okay!)
it’s anthony mackie o’clock, please bear with me. (long post).
(again, i mean no disrespect or hate towards any of the white actors and actresses in tfatws, including sebastian stan!!)
but i was reading through the interview that anthony mackie gave for variety magazine (2021) and there was one thing he said that, in light of recent comments and takes i have seen regarding the unequal consideration of sebastian stan and anthony mackie’s acting and characters in tfatws, really resonated with me.
this? this is awful. this quote shows that not only does anthony mackie know that he is viewed in this light by critics and fans of the white actors whose fame he watched from the sidelines, it shows that this is normal for him.
anthony mackie is so used to being sidelined and looked over that it is normal for him to feel like that.
anthony mackie went to juilliard. juilliard. the legendary performing arts school. he worked his way through project after project, was forced to watch his white costars’ celebrity rise from the sidelines of many of them, but kept acting and taking projects that were important to him (ie. the banker, shelter, detroit, the hate u give). he is a very talented actor with excellent range, an actor who tries to understand every character he portrays and works to the peak of his ability to play them accurately.
and it is evident that in the mcu, in the case of sam wilson, he has done a fantastic job.
he took mcu sam wilson from a potentially two-dimensional cap sidekick to having a personality highly suggestive of the fleshed out, opinionated, reckless hero that he is in the comics, and that portrayal likely would not have come through in ca:tws and beyond from a lesser actor.
mackie has also mentioned in interviews that one of his greatest concerns is that of the success of tfatws, because he has felt that if the show flops greatly the marvel executives are going to see his casting as nothing more than a mistake.
that is also heartbreaking. he has done nothing to deserve feeling like that, yet he is so used to being kept in the shadows that that is honestly how he feels about his first lead in a major franchise.
so i hope i don’t see everyone talking solely about sebastian stan’s acting. and completely glossing over the fact that even from the trailers and clips, anthony mackie has had a magnanimous presence in the show and in the story.
because that is already, unfortunately, happening.
this goes back to what some people had mentioned on my previous post that i had noticed as well, where. it was sebastian stan’s tag trending after the big tfatws content day, while mackie’s was not.
that’s absurd. mackie is the other lead of this show, not even cast in a side role this time, and he is still being sidelined by fans in favour of yet another white man. and sebastian is an excellent actor in his own right, yes, but nothing warrants ignoring anthony mackie’s presence in the show, as he is the other lead.
as fans, we have the ability and therefore the responsibility to make this the show where mackie can have faith that he truly is a main character and the lead in what is going to be a very successful tv show, not just a prop for yet another white man.
we have the power to do that.
and mackie damn well deserves it.
i yield my time once more. <3
goat fight. non-negotiable.
#LISTEn listen most marvel fights feel so contrived and fake and like la-dee-da-superhero#but this one was REAL and had me on the edge of my seat and still does#partially bc of the street clothes not costumes#partially because steve is fighting 1 on 1 and gets stripped of his shield quick#and he has to show like his physical combat skills#and the ACTING on both their parts.. fucking ace#esp chris evans tho like his face looks PANICKED how often do u see captain fucking america panicked??#anyway in this essay i will (tags via @asterlark)
Thank the Russo brothers for a) shooting outside in a real setting with practical effects not CGI, for going with a shaky cam that actually added to the sense of immediacy and wasn’t annoying as fuck.
Let me tell u what makes this scene so great. It’s the fact that Steve has a match, an equal. He mows down the goons on the Lemurian Star, escapes SHIELD HQ by fighting 15 people in closed quaters, jumps off a buliding and blows up a plane, then within hours he meets up with Natasha and survives a missle strike. He has no match, no equal in this world. That’s what happens when Batroc challenges him - this scene shows us that men think they can go toe to toe with Steve but they simply can’t. And then this scene is a rare beast. It’s an action scene that is actually a character building scene. We saw the WS blow up Fury’s car and shoot him, but that could have been any common soldier. Sam could have deployed the mine. Natasha could have taken the shot a Fury. None of them could survive in no holding back fight with Steve. Within seconds, Bucky has Steve off of him (usually if Steve is close enough to hit you, it’s game over for you), then disarms him and uses his weapon against him. Bucky dictates the speed and the path of the fight, and while Steve tries to attack, most of the time he is dodging. This tells us the audience, several things: a. Steve is in actual danger, b. Steve, judging by his face, is scared (remember what beatings he has taken up unitl now) and therefore c. for the first time in 3 movies, Steven Grant Rogers, Captain America, is not safe. The stakes are real. You are feeling the adrenaline Steve is feeling, even if you are not sure why. That’s what makes this scene a masterpiece.
How the Winter Soldier shot Nick Fury
I’ve been wanting to make a post about this for a while, even though I might be the only person invested in this, but anyway, here we go. I’ve seen mentioned several times, in posts about the movie and in fics that the Winter Soldier shot Nick Fury through the window of Steve’s apartment, and every time it makes me groan in frustration because no.
The Winter Soldier didn’t shoot Fury through a window, he shot him through a wall, and I don’t know about you, but it seems like a pretty big difference to me.
(bullet hole in the wall!!)
When I saw the scene the first time, I remember thinking holy shit??? that’s crazy, and for me that’s when the Winter Soldier really became a real, terrifyingly good assassin, that’s when his image as a serious threat solidified.
Read about the blogger getting carried away under the read more.
… I’m speechless
FUCK
I'm so angry and ready to cry but this is confirmation that the Russos hate Bucky and it's also confirmation that I FUCKING HATE THEM
at least we can say it's canon that Tony forgave Bucky, right? 😭😖😫😩
Happy Birthday Sebastian Stan!
Happy 37th birthday sebastian ❤️
So guys, Sebastian Stan snapped-
Via his Instagram Account (@imsebastianstan)
#she’s immediately looking for scott