Gwaine: Eating is, without a doubt, my favourite of the survival-based activities.
Gwaine: Like, I'll breathe, but I don't enjoy it.
Arthur: Where is my sword? You were supposed to sharpen and polish it today.
Merlin: I was polishing it, but my friends stole it from me. I don't have it anymore.
Arthur: Do you really think I’m stupid enough to believe that lie?
Merlin: What lie?
Arthur: That you have friends.
Merlin:
Morgana: [to Uther] Good night.
Morgana: Sleep tight.
Morgana: Don't let the fact that you're a terrible person keep you up tonight!
Arthur: So we decided to bring in the one man who's an expert on magic.
Merlin: An expert on magic? Do I know him?
Arthur:
Merlin:
Arthur:
Merlin: Oh! Right! That's me, yes.
Gwen: Why did you two dress as each other for Halloween?
Merlin: Morgana is the scariest thing I could think of.
Morgana: Arthur told me I should pick the dumbest costume possible.
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Merlin: Hey, why don't we all go this year to a haunted castle?
Gaius: What's wrong with the one we live in?
Merlin:
Merlin: what
Gaius: Good night, Merlin.
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Morgana: Get in the Halloween spirit and make a ghost!
Merlin: That’s called murder and I heard somewhere that it was illegal.
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Morgana: All right, I got a clown costume, a power drill, and twelve gallons of blood. Think that should do it?
Gwen, laughing: In what Halloween store did you find twelve entire gallons of fake blood?
Morgana:
Morgana: Wait
Morgana: You wanted FAKE blood??
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Leon: So, what's your costume for Halloween this year?
Arthur: I'm dressing up as an idiot.
Merlin, walking in: Hey, Arthur, here are those clothes you wanted to borrow.
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Percival: Lancelot, I know that you hate Halloween, but stick with me, and I promise you, you will love it.
Lancelot: Can you magically make everyone kind, sober, and fully dressed?
Gwaine: “Kind, sober, and fully dressed”. Good news, everyone, we found the name of Lancelot’s sex tape!
Leon: Okay, big question here -- what have you done that are you most ashamed of?
Gwaine: I use Wikipedia almost every day, but I never donate.
Lancelot: That's it?! You've been to prison, Gwaine! No regrets there??
Gwaine: Just that they didn't have Wikipedia.
Merlin: Okay, I'll be back soon. If Arthur comes looking for me, tell him I died.
Merlin: And make sure you really sell it. It's this funny thing we're doing.
Gaius:
Merlin:
Gaius: How is that funny?
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Morgana: I want to go apple picking! Pumpkin picking! Drink hot cider! Read spooky stories! Murder someone!
Arthur:
Morgana: You know. Autumn shit.
Gwen: I'm no hero.
Gwen: I put my bra on one boob at a time like everybody else.
Gwaine: Oh, be still, my beating meat.
Lancelot:
Lancelot: Literally, do you EVER think before you speak??
Gwaine: Do I ever what before I what now??
Arthur: I can't play favorites with my children! You never did!
Uther: Of course I did. All parents do.
Arthur: Really? Because I never got any special treatment.
Uther:
Arthur:
Uther: I think you can do the math here.
Arthur: Damn.
Gwen: How are you?
Merlin: Please don't make me think about my life.