Julie: “you know how you lie to your parents?” + “motherfucker is this how you write songs?!?”
Luke: “My parents used to ask me what I thought I was doing but that really just meant ‘stop’ they didn’t actually wanna know my thought process.” + “That’s my wife!”
Reggie: “I need everyone all day long to like me sooooo much.” + “I am very small and I have no money. So you can imagine the kind of stress I’m under.”
Alex: “People look at me and they’re like ‘get some rest tall child!’” + “I was raised Catholic as I’m sure you can tell by my everything about me.”
Flynn: “Do you want me to kill that guy for you? Because it sounds like he sucks and I would totally kill that guy for you. Lol see you at improv practice!” + “this might as well happen. Life is already so goddamn weird.”
Willie: *to Lifers in the HGC* “How dare you applaud the worst decision I ever made?” + “for interest I will pepper in the fact that I am gay.” + “fuck da police.”
Bobby: “I don’t drink anymore because apparently I used to black out and ‘ruin parties’.” + “you have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.”
Carrie: *pulls in to a McDonald’s drive through with a van of excited children. Orders a single black coffee. Drives away.* + “None of us ever really knows our fathers. Anyway…”
Nick: “I was shiny and dumb and easy to trick.” + “Ah yes. My title of Alpha which I definitely had once.”
Ray: “I try to stay a little optimistic. Though I will admit, things are getting pretty sticky.” + “Our house was built in the 20s but got flipped in 2014 so it’s definitely haunted but has a lovely kitchen backsplash.”
Carlos: “Well here goes nothing. You ever seen a ghost????”
Tia: “Shut up you’re all gonna die! Street smarts!”
Caleb: “A child came up to me once and told me that I could do whatever I wanted forever. And I took his advice.” + “he looked like a man who should be the conductor on a locomotive powered by confetti but instead he made his living in murder.”
