Looked down and saw $80 on the sidewalk. Being the good Christian that I am, I thought, what would Jesus do?

So I went to the liquor store and turned it into wine

3,027 years from today, life will either be really good or really bad.

It’s 5050.

If you think like that, please don’t ever have children.

Listen, my parents installed a lock on my door so I could lock everyone out of my room if I wanted to at sometime around 8 years old. They had a key of course for safety but they’ve never had to use it and they’ve never used it when they didn’t have to.

I was allowed full access to any books, movies, and internet I wanted fully informed about our family beliefs and practices but I was given no supervision once I reached about 13 because my parents trusted me to stick to the rules or not as I felt and come to them if there was anything that I had questions about.

As long as I said where I was going, who I was with, and when I was going to be back and then phone if anything changed I was allowed to do pretty much as I pleased from 13 onward.

I moved back in with my parents after university and the first conversation we had was my dad telling me that if I felt like they were treating me like a child to please tell them because they had no intention of doing so.

I still live with them and I’m comfortable here as an adult. When I eventually move out again, which I feel no rush to do because I feel respected and given more than enough elbow room, I will probably talk to them often if not everyday. Because they’ve always respected my privacy and my autonomy both physically and emotionally. If you want an independent and fictional child trusting them and giving them their space will do you many more favours than not.

meanwhile, my parents…

in response, i went behind their backs and opened a new bank account, got a secret job, bought my own groceries, and used the wifi from the school across the street. they didn’t succeed in disciplining me. all they did was force me to distance myself from them.

your children are not your property. they are human beings, and they deserve basic human rights.

nothing in this world teaches you to lie and sneak around like a parent who doesn’t believe you should have privacy

OPEN RP

“Hey guys, I picked up some snacks from the corner store today. Would anyone like some.“

i, aslan of narnia, wonders if you bought any sprite

((A talking lion!?))

“Ah, sorry Aslan-san. They only had Sierra Mist. I hope that’s okay.”

oh ive never tried one. let me 

hhg. what is this flavor? 

AAAUUGHG ITRS FUCKING GOOD!

One of my favorite ways to get kids to talk (as is my job) is to just make wildly incorrect statements about Disney movies.

I legit just started a class by being like, “So I heard there’s a new Disney movie. This is Bruno, right?”

All I had to do from that point on was correct the kid’s grammar while she told me the plot of Encanto. Easy.

Oh? The family members all have magic powers? Is one of them Moana?

No? But what about Moana and her ice powers? Are you sure she’s not in Encanto?

Check out my new Elsa figurine. She’s going to teach the children about ✨Venn Diagrams✨.

4 days until wet rat wednesday

3 days until wet rat wednesday

1 day until wet rat wednesday

happy wet rat wednesday

the role of the person in the passenger seat is not only navigator but secretary as well. you have to type up the drivers messages to random ladies on facebook about cbd cream & google whether that billy joel song was the theme song for that show or not

you also have to provide a henchmans disdainful scowl at whoever the driver is flipping off in the target parking lot

Teach boys about periods

My mother also talked about periods to my brothers.

When I first got mine I had terrible cramps. Crippling cramps. I once was camping with my family and a few of my big brother’s friends when my period came. My cramps were so bad that my mom gave me a full pain killer ( I was 13 and before that she only gave me pills cut in half).

I literally laid down on my parents’ air mattress and cried in pain for an hour before the pill kicked in.

My brothers friend came in to the big tent and I was just curled up and sobbing. Now, I was quite the tomboy and was known to rough house with my brothers and their friends and made sure I wasnt seen as just “a little girl.” So my brother’s friend was confused to see me openly weeping in the fetal position (seriously, these were the worst cramps I have had in my life. My vision went white). He asked what was wrong with me.

My big brother stood up immediately and suggested a nice long hike. During this hike I am sure he had a pretty awkward conversation with his friend explaining menstrual cramps, because when they got back the pain pill had (mostly) kicked in and I was sitting up at a table when my brother’s friend sheepishly asked me if I was feeling better. I said I was better, and he said good.

When we made s'mores that night my brother and his friend kept me well supplied with chocolate.

Making sure sons know as much about periods and menstruation as daughters makes them better brothers, better sons better fathers, and better men. A man that understands a period will not lightly accuse a woman of “being on her period” if the woman is in an argument.

Raise better sons Teach them about normal bodily functions.

HIT REBLOG PLEASE

this reminds me of that post about that dude who carries tampons with him at the gym because “half the world menstruates” and “you will build a whole guest room in case your friends want to stay the night but you won’t carry tampons in case they start their periods unexpectedly” or something and honestly they both give me life. <3

well it took me about 2 seconds to reblog this

HOLY FUCK

????????????

power song

holy SHIT

Lyrics from Ok Orchestra that I SCREAM at the top of my lungs:

And I can't be eighteen my whole life, but I'm too fucking young to feel so fucking old

But I’m not dead yet so I guess I’ll be alright

You’re only going up from here

It’s kinda funny how I keep debating if someone’s shy or if they hate me

Would you go running, if you saw the real me?

If I keep on talking politics, I’m Hamilton, without the hits

If you’re fucking racist then don’t come to my show

But if love dies do I fucking bother?

It’s gonna get really, really, really, really bad before it’s ok

Yeah I still use your jokes and they go great

Maybe then you’ll call me up, and you’ll tell me how cool I got

Adventure is out there, so why am I in here today

I’m way to young to lie here forever I’m way too old to try so whatever

We'll get out of this 'cause I love you, it's true, but if you're doubting this, if you're doubting that I do, then oh my God, I'm screwed

When you’re nobody then nobody minds

He said “screw it ima smile right through it and I’ll scream when no ones around”

I could fake it I could move away or suck it up and face it

But aren’t you excited that I’m giving you the best me?

I’ll blow up into smithereens and spew my tiny symphony just let me play my violin for you

So this could be the death of me or maybe just a better me

I’m a ok, I’m a ok, you say it but you just don’t mean it

Living sucks, but it’s sucking just a little now

I try so hard to be so happy are you happy too?

Plan on this, you’re no longer gonna be the plan I miss

Holy shit, now I’m sitting thinking about what else I’ll miss

Don’t tell me lies,we both know that you’re gonna leave me

Please fucking lie to your employer. Like they don’t need to know your mental health issues or what drugs you do. Ffs

its not lying if its to employers or cops

and look up ur rights on what they can and cannot ask u many places ban asking about ur record and transportation status and things like that resources will also tell u how they reword sketchy questions so ur prepared

Hey. Take it from a former HR person… this goes double right now. I just spent some time putting in some job applications myself (not for HR, lol) and got about 15 interviews. And idk if it’s because of COVID uncertainty or if places just don’t fucking care anymore because they know people are desperate for work, but the amount of straight up illegal shit my interviewers asked me was appalling. (That’s not even counting the questions that were technically legal but clearly fishing for information they’re not legally allowed to ask.)

A tame example? Two questions into a phone interview, the guy on the other end of the line asked: “How old are you?” I said “Excuse me?” - giving him a chance to rethink that. He didn’t. “How old are you?” “Sir, you are not allowed to ask me that question.” “Well, I want to know. I’m asking.” “And you’re legally not allowed to ask me that. I’m not required to tell you my age.” At that point, I guess he managed to remember an old HR bulletin or something (I hope to god he wasn’t actually HR himself), and he said, “Well, I need to know if you’re over the age of 18.” (Which is what he should have asked in the first place… or not, since that was in the application that he could have read.) “Yes. I’m over the age of 18.”  And we moved on. Two questions later, he tried another illegal question. I called him on it again and ended the interview, citing that a workplace with such a clear disregard for the law, especially upon first contact with a potential employee, was not going to be a good fit. (They offered me the job anyway, lol. I didn’t send a thank-you or a response.)

At a different interview, the majority of questions were “fishing” questions - just looking for that info they’re not actually allowed to ask. (This person was also either not really HR or an HR person who was exceptionally bad at their job.)

I could tell they were getting frustrated when I dodged answering the personal stuff, and they actually got extremely upset when I mentioned later in the interview (re: less relevant work experience) I had worked in HR. They were super flustered for the remainder of our time, and I watched them skip over questions on their sheet they had clearly planned on asking. They KNEW they were being sketchy and were counting on me not knowing anything about HR - or my rights - and so they got upset when I did. These were super tame examples. I’m begging you, if you’re job searching right now, PLEASE know your rights. Please know what interviewers are allowed to ask. Please don’t volunteer information or elaborate more than you’re required to about personal things. Save your words (and everyone’s time) by elaborating why you’re good for the position/what you can do. I may create a resource list on this shit later but PLEASE PLEASE KNOW THIS STUFF BEFORE YOU TALK TO AN EMPLOYER. This goes for anywhere you’re interviewing as well as your current employer. This also goes for HR. HR may be the person you go to when shitty stuff happens, but that doesn’t mean they’re your friend (or competent). They don’t need to know your age (beyond 16+, 18+, or 21+, depending on the job). They don’t need to know your medical history. (For the love of god, do NOT answer the “have you been diagnosed with depression?” question.) They don’t need to know if you have kids or whatever. They don’t need to know a LOT of those things that may appear on an application, including your veteran status, whether you’re on/have been on unemployment, etc. They’re not entitled to know specifics about your transportation (unless you’re using that transportation for the job, like Uber/delivery drivers). Look this up for your state/the job’s state. Beware questions like “What year did you graduate?” if you’re like me and don’t put dates on your resume (I just put amount of time spent at employers, not dates of employment). They’re fishing for your age. It’s “Oh, you know, 100 years ago,” if you feel comfortable making a joke, or “About [generic number, like 5 or 10] years ago” if not. Also beware things like the “What do you do in your free time?” question, even if you already work there. This is not a friendly getting-to-know-you question. This is a basis for judgement. Not up to an invisible standard? They’re going to be biased against you for pay raises, promotions, etc. Mention kids/lots of family/social engagements? That’s a tick against you for not being the kind of person who lives to work (yes, it’s gross and stupid). Mention lots of solitary things? Cool, that’s their mental note to ask more from you because you’re “not doing anything anyway.” By all means, be friendly with your coworkers/talk about shared interests if you want, but it is none of your boss’s business, and be aware what could get back to them.  Don’t. Tell. Employers. Shit.

When a customer refuses to wear a mask

Ya'll are really feelin this one huh

slightly touches men’s lower back when walking past them to feminize them

It's wonderful how, with no warning and without even trying, we will randomly stumble across new favorite songs, new favorite artists, new favorite books, new favorite movies, new favorite games, new favorite shows, new favorite snacks, new passions, new hobbies, new interests, new favorite blogs and new favorite people. So when things are terrible, hold onto the fact that someday, possibly when you least expect it, you'll suddenly come across something wonderful!