I will face my fears
Had something interesting happen yesterday, while we were looking up childhood homes on Zillow to see what they were worth. Risky business for me, I know, but Ive done therapy about it and processed it and old news.
When my parents sold it they sold it with a lot of the furniture because my dad just wanted to be rid of it asap.
So I looked my house up, and look our house wasn't some gem, but the people that bought it two years ago flipped it into a hideous monstrosity(they also cut down like a 50 year old oak from the front yard for hideous coastal landscaping but neither here nor there) and must be renting it cause the updated pictures are up already.
I'm flipping through looking for my room, Cause I'm curious. And I get to it, and it's all ugly and whatever. And then I'm suddenly floored.
When I was in college like ten plus years ago, I thrifted this teal hexagonal end table that I LOVED, that I left with my parents after college because it was too hard to move out to California with me and I moved too much after that. But I always hoped I would get it back. I never really acknowledged what happened to it because my parents just trashed so many of my things when they sold that I got no say in, and after a point it sucked too much to keep track of my things that didn't make it.
Anyway, guess what is in that fucking room in the remodeled listing photos. And of all the rooms for them to keep it in.
ASTARION
WHAT ARE THOSE
The strength economy is in shambles.
100% Karlach just thinks a deathmatch is a fun friendly time
The Dark Urge Companion AU - Reacting to Astarion's attack
TW: Lotsa blood, Neck Injury
You thought I was going to have a comic about Gale's hand, did you?
Ha. I'll get there. But, you guys have been asking for it. I wanted to do a comic on how the Durge reacts to the player being attacked by Astarion in Act 1.
When I agreed to help get addresses for my high school reunion, because I can't say no, I didn't immediately consider I would have to also get it from my ex best friend id known since we were 16, from which there was no real closure
I just
Stopped talking to them, because it was what I needed at the time for a list of reasons that really dont mean anything to anyone
No closure no resolution just me not having the balls to say "I can't do this"
And then never went more than a week without thinking about them at least once for the last 7 years
So I stared at the "send friend request" button for an hour yesterday because I didn't want to be a coward about it or make someone else do it
So i sent it
Then spent the next 24 hours imagining every scenario they would tell me to go fuck myself, ignore it, come back with a very characteristic "sorry who are you?", or accept it so we could yell at each other and hash it out
Every song on my shuffle spoke to me in some way yesterday
This morning when I checked, I was blocked
Which
Fair
I couldn't have expected much more and maybe that's its own form of closure
I thought I would feel worse or shocked, but really I'm just immensely sad
But I've gotten good at the "hope you're well, now I let this go until you show up in my dreams again"
It would give you satisfaction to know you haunt me, I think
Original embroidery - KolomanKnitShop
instagram - fox_and_blueberry
moving away from your small shitty hometown is just. I hate this place. my best memories were formed here. my worst memories were formed here. I miss the familiarity of it all. the idea of going back makes me feel ill. I miss this specific meal I can get in my hometown. I have been exposed to so much more now that I'm gone. everyone I ever knew was here. the only people I would want to see are the ones who got out. the streets and landmarks are etched into my subconscious. I feel like a stranger when I go back. I refuse to ever live there again. it will always live inside me.