noelle

BYE FOREVER

happy birthday to the babiest of all babeys, the man who owns my heart and ass, mr calum t hood

i love u forever n ever <3

Boyfriend calum is my true aesthetic 💛

Calum being done with Luke’s dumb questions about smores 

I’m right and I should say it

Wait. How are peoples with siblings greeting eachother then?

“Hey”

“Hey”

“Hey Dork.”

“I am not a dork.”

“Yes you are. And mom wants to talk to you.”

“Whats up buttholes”

“Shut up Loser”

“Hey maaaan”

“Hey maaaaan”

Or

“Hey stoop-stoops”

“No”

“Who are you?”

“Hey shithead”

“Hey dickface”

“Whaddup slut”

*Hey ‘name of sibling’* *Get out of my room*

“Hey nerd” “What do you want”

“Sup bitch”

“Fuck off”

*steps into the room and stares at them until they notice and stare back for a solid 15 seconds, neither of you move a muscle*

“what”

“what do you want for dinner”

That last one!!!

Passing each other in a corridor/when entering or exiting a room/in the stairs/wherever:

*drops into battle-poses and makes pterodactyl screeches while fake-swinging and kicking at each other before continuing on as if nothing happened*

-pass by each other, make eye contact, narrow eyes and glare at each other in silence for about 10 seconds before continuing on your path- 

“hey nerd”

“s'up, Chewbacca”

also always overcome with the urge to immediately end the other when in their presence.

That’s it that’s having siblings. 24/7.

cain instinct

sibling: in room upstairs

me: sitting in the living room downstairs

me, screaming at the top of my lungs: [NAME]!!!!!!

sibling, from their room: “WHAT”

Meeting in the kitchen halfway through the day

“Have we said hi today?”

“Don’t know…”

“Hi”

“Hi”

Each go back to their room

Basically, there are no rules but it’s always chaos…

Or actually, The rules of siblinghood is kind of like fight club.

booty shorts that say “i love you. i’ve loved you since the first time you picked up your ukelele and you wrote a song about clouds, a silly little song about clouds, i love you. and that night in your room when you told me you loved me i meant to say it, i meant to say it, and i’ve kicked myself everyday since then because i didn’t say it but i do, i love you. i’ve loved you since seventh grade when i made you ride in the front row of demon’s destiny at six flags, and you told me you sometimes get a little seasick on rollercoasters and i said: cmon, live a little. i remember. and then i puked all over your shoes, and you didn’t even make me feel bad about it, no, you just said, um—no worries, i’ve wanted to get rid of these shoes for a while. yeah, because you outgrew them. and the thing is, i never outgrew you. and i don’t really know what happens tomorrow, or in two minutes when we walk out that door. all i know is, i want this feeling to keep going. because this whole experience, i’m just—i’m not ready for it to be over. for us to be, i mean. and if that means doing another musical? fine. i get to pick the musical. fine, that’s fine, it’s all fine. i just—i don’t want this to be just a showmance, really. i want it to be the real thing. i mean—i think it is the real thing, i just—i want a chance to prove it. i do. i mean, look—ricky, um, you know in musicals when people burst into song when they’ve run out of things to say? yeah. sometimes it’s easier to just kiss. yeah. yeah. yeah.” on the ass

my heart literally can’t take this anymore

excuse me. y’all see this?

When i was a kid, a creep tried to lure me away with him in Walmart. I said I’d have to ask my mom (who was on the other side of the store), then went to the nearest lady. An elderly black woman. I hugged her and said VERY loudly: “Mommy! This man says he knows you from church and that he has puppies outside! Can i go?” She said “no baby, you stay with me” And i just nodded and walked away with her as every able bodied person nearby converged to kick the creep’s ass.

I helped an elderly black lady put a big thing of water in her buggy and she said thank you, baby and hugged me and I nearly cried

in this house we protect elderly black women at all costs

cutie

lookit that FACE!!!

#So that was a fucking lie