@thelioninmybed / thelioninmybed.tumblr.com
Just found out that "two fingers of whiskey" does not mean slowly caressing the bottle and gently teasing its hole until that beautiful decanter of delicious brown liquid can take you inside itself and moans your name into your shoulder but does in fact just mean two ounces
I have a disorder that makes me want to headcanon every nonhuman character with the ability to purr regardless if it makes sense for their kind or not. It's called being right. With enough research i could justify a tree purring if i wanted to
i think a tree would probably bark
Blocked
I think one of the starkest illustrations of how incoherent Hasbro's goals for Dungeons & Dragons are is that they made the writers take out all the direct references to dragon-fucking in 5E in a bid to render the IP more advertiser-friendly, but still insisted upon keeping a bunch of stuff whose narrative context strongly implies dragon-fucking front and centre in the brand identity, so now the Player's Handbook has gotta play coy about where dragon-blooded sorcerers come from.
"Perhaps one of your ancestors [MADE A BARGAIN] with a dragon, or perhaps you're the first of a new sorcerous bloodline as a result of a [BARGAIN] with a dragon". Yeah, I bet it was quite the "bargain".
Unbelievably huge dragon d[ISCOUNT]
i'll go first my parents almost named me felicity. which would've been so cool but i definitely would've been like 5x crazier if i was named that
Matt Macken - Echo Chamber, 2023
thinking about when i mentioned tom and jerry by title alone to my 65 year old father and his only response was to laugh REALLY hard and say "him and that fucking mouse.." while staring into the distance. and then the conversation was over
it's bad image friday. when i post bad images (i know he doesn't actually say that btw)
as he should
Which character was the most Doomed By The Narrative
like…ever? maybe einkidu or judas iscariot or iphigenia or the main character in a story i wrote in the back of my composition notebook when i was supposed to be learning geometry in 5th grade and then forgot about
youre right it is archie andrews from riverdale
Laios you have to stop. You eat too good. Your swag too different. Your tits are too fat. they’ll kill you
Far worse, in my opinion, than the famous “he wouldn’t fucking say that” is “he WOULD fucking say that, as part of his facade, but you seem to think he would mean it genuinely”
Trust
English added by me :)
if you've ever used the London Underground you might have noticed that it often gets uncomfortably hot. the reason for this is actually that its builders dug too greedily & too deep and as a result the trains are very close to the fires of hell. hope that helps.
I mean, I don't want to sound stupid, but I always assumed that the Ancient Romans were mammals
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