they’re just not that into you: tumblr rp edition

So we need to talk about things, we do.

I keep seeing people complaining about feeling ignored. And some weeks I feel ignored, too. And sometimes I talk to people who have tried to say ‘no thank you, I’m not interested’ in 546378 different ways, and people take that as ‘I need to be more creative and persistent’.

It’s time we were honest;

Sometimes, an RPer is just not that into you.

They are begging for threads when it’s their turn on replies. They have a wishlist but they turn you down when you ask. Communication has drawn to a halt. You start every message with ‘hi sorry to bother you’. You nudge them repeatedly and they are unresponsive.

… they are just not that into you.

Here are some reasons why this might be the case:

You’re trying to write yourself into their background and it doesn’t work well with their headcanons.
Your writing styles are just unmeshy things. Oil. Water. Bam.
They don’t agree with some aspect of they way you play your character (and this doesn’t make you wrong; just incompatible). <– especially canons tbh. We all see them differently. Which is great.
They don’t mesh with some aspect of the way you run your blog generally - more ooc than they are comfortable with, too much negativity about fandoms, characters, ships or people, too many photos of your stamp collection.
Your styles clash. One of you likes heavy formatting and structure and the other likes things plain.
What you initially discussed is not unfolding right for them.
They just don’t feel it.
They have a lot of threads and they don’t want to cut down on others for one they’re lukewarm about.

None of these things are likely to be the case:

They hate you.
They think you suck.

This is NOT about ‘quality’ (i hate that word being used around here). It’s about compatibility.

Let me ask you… can you really enjoy a thread knowing you had to harass someone into it? I doubt it.

I am not talking about people who take a little longer than usual to reply, because our lives fluctuate. Or people who have long breaks (hooray, they have lives!). I mean when someone is around a lot and it’s just a constant impasse. Or your messages never get answered.

This does not mean you are a bad RPer. This means one thing: You are not compatible with the other writer. That is all, and it doesn’t reflect badly on you, or on them.

If someone goes on a date and it flops, we don’t blame them, right? And they can still be friends, or civil, or leave on okay terms.

This is a huge world. Really there are thousands of us. It sucks when someone you want to RP with just doesn’t seem that interested. But someone else will be interested. Stop chasing people who aren’t. It will be easier for you both.

#refs #important #psa