Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene

I'm begging of you, please don't take my man

Your sword is long, your lance is keen, your shining helm afar is seen

But into darkness fell your star, Jolene

Long ago you went away, and where thou dwellest none can say,

In Mordor where the shadows are, Jolene.

The last whose realm was fair and free between the mountains and the sea

Gil-galad was an Elven king, Jolene

Hold up.

For those of us who have shipped Elrond/Gil-galad for the last eleventy-five decades... that surely makes Celebrían into Dolly Parton.

REVERSE TROPE WRITING PROMPTS

listen. aging into your thirties rocks. yes your joints get a little creaky. yes you can’t sleep in a pretzel on the floor anymore after a concert or a convention. and you lose some friends. but the thing is that you sort out who your real friends are and you sort out who you really are. and you get to see your friends settling into careers they like, and adopt new dogs and cats, and you find a job you can stand, and get really good at arts and crafts, and maybe that book you loved as a kid gets a movie deal and it doesn’t suck, and you learn to like new food and bake your own bread, and you realize that the great portfolio of self harm scars you all used to curate are going white with age and not updated, and half your friends are a different gender now and so much happier and maybe you are too, and you know who you are, and that it’s a journey and not a revelation. it’s a direction you’re headed, and you’re enjoying the trip.

reaching your 30′s rocks. and i’m hearing good things about what comes next, too.

i am looking into your eyes, i am holding your hand. i absolutely promise.

if you can just live long enough, your soul will build your body into a home. you will live there and you will find a way to be at peace. it’s worth the time and it’s worth the work. i promise.

Your soul will build your body into a home.

Definitely part of a broader pattern. There's not enough study on trans and intersex folks' healthcare as a general rule, but chronic pain disorders are distinctly skewed towards folks with ovarian reproductive systems--and in this case, testosterone actually seems to have a distinct protective effect that has been documented in best practice for chronic pain patients of all sexes for more than a decade. It's theorized that this accounts for at least some of the well documented sex bias in chronic pain conditions.

A quick aside: anywhere you see a sex effect either in the literature on a condition or in your own personal everyday life, it's always wise to consider the mechanism (known or potential). This question is a great example of an inquiry that considers a potential mechanism of action and inquires about it. Sex is a big messy category of variation with a ton of chaotic overlapping factors that may cluster imperfectly together, and hormone profile vs other aspects of sex (like gonadal state, Wolffian vs Mullerian developmental history, gender, presence or absence of SRY, chromosomal status and so with) is actually one of the more classic ways to get specific when we talk about sex and sex differences.

Essentially, what appears to be happening is that

Adding testosterone to both castrated testicular mice and to ovarian mice actually seems to have a protective effect against overexertion-induced pain to fatigued muscles, for example. And people are beginning to consider whether testosterone therapy could help fibromyalgia patients of all genders, even at levels that shouldn't necessarily create gender dysphoric changes for patients whose gender isn't compatible with those changes. Everyone produces endogenous testosterone, and there's a theory that individuals producing inadequate testosterone might be more prone to this kind of pain sensitivity. There's quite a lot of research on this relationship percolating through the field at the moment.

(I should note that I'm not a pain biologist, I'm just over here in sex differences + gene expression + neuroendocrinology recalling this as one of the interesting ones bouncing around that's worth digging into further. I am gratified to see so many folks working thoughtfully in the area.)

So hey, congrats: your HRT is also incidentally acting as pain control! No wonder your chronic pain gets better when you have regular access to it.

I kknow @thebibliosphere has talked about this before. Specifically in regards to how estrogen exacerbates connective tissue issues.

Most of what I can find is anecdotal because there really aren’t enough studies, but I can say that within the EDS circles I’m in, which happen to be overwhelmingly queer, that a not insignificant number of trans folk report feeling better while on testosterone. Lower pain, less joint instability, fewer migraines etc, etc.

It's enough people that I, as a cis woman, am trying to get my doctor to consider prescribing it to see if it helps with my chronic pain and joint stability which get exponentially worse whenever I experience estrogen fluctuations as part of my monthly cycle.

we should talk more about cities that are vampires. cities that are cold and wet and sink into your bones and stay there. cities that are hungry and want to live. dead cities that dont know they're dead and suck the life force of their people to maintain the delusion. cities with harbors that are actually mouths; one-way entries. cities that are devastatingly lonely and see consumption as love

If you know anyone who seems really chill to the point of being virtually indestructible, like nothing could ever bother them in any way, could get hit by a train and just shake it off and be totally fine, laughing it off as soon as they've dusted themselves off and stopped bleeding, but who occasionally just randomly falls apart to complete fucking smithereens with seemingly no cause nor warning, only to get back up again a few minutes/hours/days later like "ok yeah I'm fine again that was weird lmao", and you've ever wondered what the fuck is up with that:

They are actually not ok and most likely are not ok at any point. The whole "hardiest person you know who just collapses randomly sometimes" thing isn't a deliberately constructed façade, as a matter of fact it might be something that they actually personally believe themselves to be. But in reality this is somebody who's either unintentionally learned or has been deliberately trained to hide negative emotions and mask symptoms at all costs, as the #1 priority that goes over any other survival needs.

So even though it may look like they go from 1 to 100 completely at random and unpredictably, and then swing right back again to being totally fine, you have no way of knowing how long they've been at 95% before the last line of defense broke down and the system collapsed. And once they flip back up, odds are that they just managed to scrape their shit back together again just enough to get their backup masking systems running. The "check engine" light never turned on because the wire was clipped years ago.

If this is you, this is your callout to seek some sort of help. I'm telling on everyone in this room including myself.

Every engine failure is "unpredictable" and "random" if you've taped over the Check Engine light.

“Yoink” is the opposite of “Yeet”

But it’s just as fast

The Lord yeeteth and the Lord yoinketh away

well there’s my eulogy sorted

Look if there is absolutely nothing else you take away from the nonsense I am posting, it's this: Make Art.

Make art, with whatever you have. Use scrap cardboard and tape and build something; doodle in your notebooks, make a beautiful dinner, grow a plant, write, paint your nails. Learn to whittle, to knit, to cut straight lines, to sew, to cook, to run at a problem and not solve it the first time. Learn to try again.

Make things the wrong way.

If it works, do it again, better. If it doesn't, do it again, different. Draw badly. Look at the way the light hits something and try to figure out the colors it makes. Watch the way strangers walk and how the weight of them shifts in motion.

Creating art--beautiful things, ugly things, silly things--is not something that you should be leaving to people who are better at it or can afford the expensive materials or have a deep message or whatever. Do it anyway. Do it worse, do it cheaply, do it just for the joy of doing it. The work itself has merit. The work itself is rewarding. Make art.

And pet your cat.

which one of u was going to tell me that tea tastes different if u put it in hot water?

y- you were putting it in cold water?????

Radish. Answer the question radish.

yeah??? i thought for like. 5 years that ppl just put it in hot water 2 speed up the tea-ification process didn’t realize there was an actual reason

You dont have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes???

[ID: Tags reading “u think i have the patience to boil water wtf ?????” /End ID]

why are you. putting it in the microwave to boil it

Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove

Its takes less than a minute

Bestie is ur stovetop powered by the fucking sun

How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove

Like seven minutes

Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat n it boils in like two minutes… less than that is u use a saucepan…

Crying you’re putting the whole mug on the stove ???? On medium heat???? Ur stove is enchanted

Every single person in this post is a fucking lunatic

Yet another post that reads like four shakespeare characters who come out in the middle of the play to talk about something completely unrelated for comic relief

(Enter RADISHN’T, MOTHMAN MISATO, BOIMG FROG and CATS'N RAINCOATS, stage left. They are having a HEATED DISCUSSION.)

RADISHN’T: Prithee, which one of you had planned to tell

Of diff'rent flavours gained by simple act

Of brewing tea with water hot, not cold?

MOTHMAN: Egad! you poured the water cold? Wherefore?!

FROG: An answer from you, Radish, I must beg.

RADISHN’T: Indeed I did, dear friends - why does this shock?

Without the guide of others I assumed

That heat was merely added for the sake

Of expediting this solution’s brewing!

Half a decade I have spent, or more,

Not questioning this worldview I had made.

In fact, I am myself a bit surprised

That you might think that I, your dearest friend,

Might have a patience of sufficient stock

To wait until a pot of water boils.

FROG: Three minutes overtaxes patience so?

The microwave will beep when it is done!

CATS'N: My friend, this answer vexes me the more!

Can it be true that thou dost boil by nuke?!

FROG: Are you in turn, my friend, so shocked to know

That I have not the patience, like our Root,

To boil upon the stove our favour’d drink?

CATS'N: It takes less than a minute!

FROG: On what plate?

Perhaps your dinner cooks atop the sun?

CATS'N: How long can take your stove to fill the task

Of boiling but a single cup alone?

FROG: In minutes?

CATS'N: Yes!

FROG: I counted seven, once.

CATS'N: Perhaps you ought to have your timepiece checked!

If on a middle heat you place the cup

You soon will have the scalding drink you crave.

Two minutes, in a mug upon the plate

Or even less, if you should have a pot.

FROG: You cause me tears - is this how thou dost live?

You place upon the iron stove a mug?

A mug, ceramic, filled with water cold?

How do these flames, though medium in height,

Not shatter like a glass this fragile thing?

Surely, then, your kitchen is bewitched

With magicks far beyond the mortal ken!

(The FOUR realise they have wandered into the THRONE ROOM. The ROYAL COURT watches with fascination.)

KING: Ev'ry single person in this group must be a fucking lunatic, it seems.

I used to manage an escape room and the best thing I ever saw was in our Jigsaw room. They start that one handcuffed or footcuffed to separate bits of wall, and they had to tie some lab coats together to lasso a wheeled trolley across the room as their first puzzle.

One day I had a couple come in. When I initially asked who wanted the foot cuff Vs the handcuff, she insists that he gets handcuffed. I chain them up, give them their starter hint that the trolley will be immediately important, leave and go to the office.

Whereupon I watch as the woman turns to the man and says "Gareth, give me your leg."

Gareth bends down, removes his prosthetic leg, and throws it over to her. She drops onto her stomach as far forward as the footcuff allows, grabs her boyfriend's detached foot, and uses it to fish the trolley over.

Greatest solution to that puzzle I ever saw

did i tell u guys i got into an argument on twitter bc i said foxes are dogs and someone tried to bring up their actual fuckin. classification or whatever and i just said “foxes are dogs cause they are fluffye” and they kept arguing with me. the entire time i was like “you will not survive the immigration to tumblr you are lucky we are not there right now”

This is especially funny because they aren’t even right. Foxes *ARE* dogs.

No they aren’t.

yes they are. because they are fluffye.

OK yes they are.

Dog

Dog

Different family, but same order as @pictures-of-dogs

No, they are the same family. They are the same kingdom, phylum, order and family. They separate at the genus.

They’re a dog.

yeah they’re fluffye

theyre literally not dogs theyre not even fluffy. can we get science tumblr over hear or what!?

checkmate athiests

fluffye

okay but they literally are dogs, for those who are confused

If foxes are dogs, then so are wolves, coyotes, dingoes, jackals, and several other extant and extinct species.

Behold! A dog.

of course it’s a dog you buffoon. it’s fluffye.

Why on earth would someone think “BUT IF THEY’RE DOGS SO AR -”

Like yes of course wolves are dogs, where have you been. Jackals are excellent doggies! So are coyotes. Why is this confusing.

I love that this is literally two completely different arguments running simultaneously.

That guy up there who said they’re not even fluffy was thinking of sharks

sharks are also dogs. ravenous water dogs, but still dogs

Sharks can NOT be dogs they are SMOOTH

Tags via @jenroses

sharks are smooth dogs

BEHOLD, a SHARK

there are many benefits to being a marine biologist

How to Save Your Own Life, Erica Jong

phrasing of this is taking me out

Harder to crucify a being with eight legs

#spider Jesus died on the asterisk for our sins

you can’t just leave this in the tags

The thing about Cottagecore is that is a fetishized aesthetic of country life, divorced from labor and idealized by a primarily urban audience with a backward looking ethos of tradition. They are not prepared for the stresses of a rural life: farming; harvesting; tapping pumpkins to ensure none of them have been replaced with flesh; losing out on income by having to use one of your pigs in a blood sacrifice to paint protective sigils over your doors and windows; checking cracks and chimneys for the flesh-vines of the Pumpkin Lord; having to decide, before the Growth is complete, whether that's really your tradwife or an amassment of vines, leaves, and blood in the shape of your tradwife; ignoring their desperate pleas that "I'm me! No! No!" as you burn them alive, realizing too late you picked wrong; and the exploitative corporate nature of commercial farming in 2024. All seen through a deeply colonial lens, of course

When I made this post I did not expect it to be an effective test of which Tumblr users actually read a post fully before reblogging, and yet