Queer Nonconformist Turtleneck

Some of the people who worked day and night to create this season of 9-1-1 ❤️

what do you MEAN adele talked about 911 at her concert last night????

I've been thinking while chilling in the they cast Ryan with a plan delusionland, but specifically what it would take to give Buck the most satisfying love story possible. Because Buck was written as the love interest. His purpose in season 1 is to give something to the main character. And ever since, he's been there to provide something to his love interests even though he's the main character now, he gave Ali a place to stay, he gave Taylor professional advancement (and this one is made worse by her book), he gave Natalia inside information on death, so he's constantly providing things without getting anything substantial in return, much like with Abby and the way that he was just a device to make her feel better about her life. And the main thing here is that Buck is being pursued in order to offer something. He's never the one to go after them, he's the one being chased in a sense, Abby calls him, Ali calls him, Taylor kisses him, Natalia asks him out, Tommy kisses him, so these people want something from him and they take it, most of the time without giving him something in return, Abby forces him to get closure by himself, Ali leaves him because she can't handle the job, where do I even begin with Taylor. So if you think about it, considering the initial way Buck was written, and the way they expanded this to the point that he was literally born to offer something to someone who provided him with nothing (in this case his parents), or the way Maddie shows up because she needs the safety he could provide (I'm not saying Maddie doesn't provide him with anything, I know she does so much for him, but she did show up because she needed a place to hide) his main love interest needs to be someone who's not asking him for stuff. And that's been Eddie since he was introduced. Under Pressure is about Buck choosing Eddie. Eddie tries, but when he realizes Buck is serious about not liking him, he validates Buck's feelings, granted in his sassy way of his, and backs off until he has a chance to give Buck the choice to let him in. You can have my back any day. The phrasing of this is great for the whole Eddie trusts Buck to take care of him, he's not saying he will take care of Buck, he's giving Buck the option of taking care of him. But the thing there is that he puts the choice in Buck's hands. Buck could've walked away. Even Buck's reactions to the way Eddie says it shows a moment where Buck is considering before offering the or you can have mine. The metaphor surrounding the rescue in this context is interesting because while Eddie is choosing Buck right there, he's not forcing Buck to step in. Much like the ambulance, Eddie is offering himself, but he's not forcing anyone to go into the ambulance and risk getting blown up with him. Buck needs to volunteer. And he does.

I know the fandom loves to say Eddie baby trapped Buck, but Buck was the one who took one look at Eddie and said I'm stepping in with you whether you like it or not. Eddie never demanded anything from Buck beyond for Buck to be himself. He never asked for help with Chris, Buck chose to talk to Bobby to clear him being at the station, Buck chose to trick Eddie to offer him help in the form of Carla. Sure, when it's convenient for the plot, Eddie will just decide on things, but like, even the lawsuit of it all, when Eddie is inserting himself into the conflict, Buck is ready to be forced to provide Eddie with something to be forgiven "so whatever it takes for you to forgive me" but Eddie is instantly "I forgive you" because he doesn't need for Buck to prove himself. Over and over again, the show puts Eddie in a position that shows that he just loves Buck. No matter what. He never asked Buck to provide him with something. I think even the will and the way Eddie hides it plays into this. He doesn't want to ask for Buck to do this. Eddie knows Buck will do it, he knows how much Buck loves Chris, but the will reveal is not really about Eddie asking Buck to do something for him, taking care of Chris if he can't because the episode already showed Buck doing that without knowing that was what Eddie wanted, but to give Buck that shock that he does have something to live for, that he matters, that someone loves him. Eddie exists as the person that allows Buck to make his own decisions. He does push back when he thinks Buck needs that push but he doesn't make the choice for him. Even if Buck ever decides to walk away from him, he'll let him if that's what Buck really wants, because ultimately it will be Buck's choice and he respects that. And ultimately, with the archetype they had in mind when they created Buck, that is what Buck needs for him to be in the most satisfying romantic relationship narratively. Buck needs someone who loved him before they were in love with him. And that is the work they have been putting towards buddie since Eddie was introduced. And that's also why Buck is the one who needs to start his endgame relationship. It's never gonna feel right until Buck chooses to do something about it because everything about him is about someone else making the choice.

#its party why Eddie not telling or asking Buck about making him Christophers guardian does kind of make sense to me (Istill firmly believe#its unhined of Eddie and he should've had the conversation) Eddie didn't want to force Buck into something - to feel obligated to Chris -#to be there for Chris - so when Eddie gets shot and Buck takes care of Chris anyway Buck has made that choice for himself so Eddie then#revealing what he has done - putting Buck in his will - isn't Eddie pressuring Buck into something - Buck has already made that choice#ITs why I think Eddie knows how Buck reacted to Eddie being stuck in the well - it is what gave him the confidence to change his will#the conversation backs that up - 'you can refuse' 'you knew I wouldn't' - its still giving Buck agency over it - Eddie is letting Buck lead#even though it is something he already did - Eddie then gets to see Bucks level of commitment to Christopher (andEddie himself) when Eddie#has his break down in s5. Even the poker date plays into the same narrative - Eddie nudges but never pushes Buck - at the right moments to#get Buck out of his own head and it comes in the aftermath of Buck falling asleep on Eddies couch - Buck signallig he feels safeand trusts#Eddie to provide the right kind of support. we've seen the same thing happening in s7 - Eddie letting Buck have his space to be jealous and#petty - letting him get it out of his system - knowing thats what Buck needs - and not holding it against him in the long run. its an#extension of the kitchen and balcony scenes - Eddie giving Buck the space and time to reach his own conculsions without pushing him more#than being there for him. And Eddie has had all his own stuff going on among all this - but each and everything has manouvered them closer#together - Eddie almost waits for Buck to go deal with a thing before dealing with his own version of a thing - thats what makes this Eddie#cheating arc so interesting - Eddie hasn't processed his catholic guilt and trauma surrounding relationships (this is going to sound so Buc#centric and I don't mean it to - I'm just trying to highlight Eddies processing choices) because he hasn't had to - Buck has never truly#been a viable option until this point - it is yet again an example of Eddie allowing Buck to reach a point in an aspect of his life before#going through his own processing - Buck is a catalyst for Eddie - almost a 'if Buck can sort this part of his life out then so can I'#subconcious kind of thing (Eddie just seems to go down a more destructive route to get there!)

#Eddie is now doing the work on himself that will make him an option for Buck to choose down the line - should his relationship with Tommy#not work out - then Eddie will be in a position to put himself forward while letting Buck be the one to choose for himself.#I've gotten rambly so I'm gonna stop tag jacking!!!#but the way the show has set them up as the most perfect foils for each other as they fall in love slow burn style is just so epically good#Eddie has already done his choosing - silently - but he is giving Buck the agency to make his own choice at do the choosing himself tags by @stagefoureddiediaz because yes!!!

I've been thinking while chilling in the they cast Ryan with a plan delusionland, but specifically what it would take to give Buck the most satisfying love story possible. Because Buck was written as the love interest. His purpose in season 1 is to give something to the main character. And ever since, he's been there to provide something to his love interests even though he's the main character now, he gave Ali a place to stay, he gave Taylor professional advancement (and this one is made worse by her book), he gave Natalia inside information on death, so he's constantly providing things without getting anything substantial in return, much like with Abby and the way that he was just a device to make her feel better about her life. And the main thing here is that Buck is being pursued in order to offer something. He's never the one to go after them, he's the one being chased in a sense, Abby calls him, Ali calls him, Taylor kisses him, Natalia asks him out, Tommy kisses him, so these people want something from him and they take it, most of the time without giving him something in return, Abby forces him to get closure by himself, Ali leaves him because she can't handle the job, where do I even begin with Taylor. So if you think about it, considering the initial way Buck was written, and the way they expanded this to the point that he was literally born to offer something to someone who provided him with nothing (in this case his parents), or the way Maddie shows up because she needs the safety he could provide (I'm not saying Maddie doesn't provide him with anything, I know she does so much for him, but she did show up because she needed a place to hide) his main love interest needs to be someone who's not asking him for stuff. And that's been Eddie since he was introduced. Under Pressure is about Buck choosing Eddie. Eddie tries, but when he realizes Buck is serious about not liking him, he validates Buck's feelings, granted in his sassy way of his, and backs off until he has a chance to give Buck the choice to let him in. You can have my back any day. The phrasing of this is great for the whole Eddie trusts Buck to take care of him, he's not saying he will take care of Buck, he's giving Buck the option of taking care of him. But the thing there is that he puts the choice in Buck's hands. Buck could've walked away. Even Buck's reactions to the way Eddie says it shows a moment where Buck is considering before offering the or you can have mine. The metaphor surrounding the rescue in this context is interesting because while Eddie is choosing Buck right there, he's not forcing Buck to step in. Much like the ambulance, Eddie is offering himself, but he's not forcing anyone to go into the ambulance and risk getting blown up with him. Buck needs to volunteer. And he does.

I know the fandom loves to say Eddie baby trapped Buck, but Buck was the one who took one look at Eddie and said I'm stepping in with you whether you like it or not. Eddie never demanded anything from Buck beyond for Buck to be himself. He never asked for help with Chris, Buck chose to talk to Bobby to clear him being at the station, Buck chose to trick Eddie to offer him help in the form of Carla. Sure, when it's convenient for the plot, Eddie will just decide on things, but like, even the lawsuit of it all, when Eddie is inserting himself into the conflict, Buck is ready to be forced to provide Eddie with something to be forgiven "so whatever it takes for you to forgive me" but Eddie is instantly "I forgive you" because he doesn't need for Buck to prove himself. Over and over again, the show puts Eddie in a position that shows that he just loves Buck. No matter what. He never asked Buck to provide him with something. I think even the will and the way Eddie hides it plays into this. He doesn't want to ask for Buck to do this. Eddie knows Buck will do it, he knows how much Buck loves Chris, but the will reveal is not really about Eddie asking Buck to do something for him, taking care of Chris if he can't because the episode already showed Buck doing that without knowing that was what Eddie wanted, but to give Buck that shock that he does have something to live for, that he matters, that someone loves him. Eddie exists as the person that allows Buck to make his own decisions. He does push back when he thinks Buck needs that push but he doesn't make the choice for him. Even if Buck ever decides to walk away from him, he'll let him if that's what Buck really wants, because ultimately it will be Buck's choice and he respects that. And ultimately, with the archetype they had in mind when they created Buck, that is what Buck needs for him to be in the most satisfying romantic relationship narratively. Buck needs someone who loved him before they were in love with him. And that is the work they have been putting towards buddie since Eddie was introduced. And that's also why Buck is the one who needs to start his endgame relationship. It's never gonna feel right until Buck chooses to do something about it because everything about him is about someone else making the choice.

some things fall when they're meant to fall

Chapter 3/4 now up on ao3

The wedding is beautiful, the bride gorgeous. And the Best Man?

Well, Eddie’s a little biased, but he’s not sure he’s ever seen someone glow the way Buck is glowing today. It’s like there’s a halo of light radiating off him all day—where he stands, beaming at Chimney and Maddie during the ceremony, where he raises his glass during his toast at the reception, where he and Tommy sway in the middle of the dance-floor, surrounded by all the people Buck loves most.

Eddie tries not to be too obvious about the fact that he can’t keep his eyes off him, but he’s not really sure he’s doing a good job.

He’s not really sure he cares.

They look good together, Buck and Tommy. Eddie’s seen them together before, lots of times, and he thought maybe he’d built up some kind of armor to it, some kind of resistance that protected his heart against this slow, crushing ache, but he’d been so, so wrong.

Maybe it’s just all catching up to him at once.

Or maybe—maybe there’s been a change. A shift in the way Buck’s looking at Tommy, because Eddie could swear that there’s something different on his face tonight. He’s holding onto Tommy and looking up at him and Eddie could swear he can see it in his eyes.

Buck is falling in love.

(read chapter 3 on ao3)

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The amount of religious symbolism in Step 9 was off the fucking charts and not just biblical imagery, but imagery of how (for Bobby) religion has been a life raft, has been something he has been able to cling to when he felt like he had nothing else. When he actually had nothing else.

Let's start with Amir leaving civilization to spend a month in the desert doing aid work. The way he gave up stability and safety to care for people. So reminiscent of John the Baptist who left his home when he was old enough to preach in the desert.

Then let's look at the migrant couple wandering in the desert trying to find a space place. Let's look at the pregnant woman and her injured partner who jumped out of a moving vehicle so she wouldn't be alone.

Then let's talk about Bobby wandering the desert trying to atone for his sins. Let's talk about him literally dragging 'his cross' (Amir, the guilt of the lives his inadvertently took, the lives of the survivors that are forever changed) through the desert trying to find safety, trying to find redemption that he doesn't think he deserves. He thought he was dragging that cross to his own death.

He was willing to die trying to make amends for his sins. He didn't have to wander the desert for 40 days like Jesus though. Instead the aid workers found him and got him and Amir safely to the hospital.

The cross he bears might be his alone, but he doesn't have to carry it alone. A major theme of Bobby's life post-fire has been the fact that he doesn't think he deserves to be alive, he doesn't think he deserves to be happy, he doesn't think he deserves help.

But that isn't how life works. It isn't always about deserves. It's about the kindness of other people and about sometimes we work so hard to be better that we can't see how far we've come - how the kindness of strangers can be a reflection of the kindness in ourselves.

Not to get too religious in a post about religion and religious symbolism and imagery, but the fifth beatitude really rings true for Bobby in general, but especially in this last episode.

Mercy that Bobby doesn't think he deserves, and maybe he doesn't. But mercy isn't something you get to decide you get or not, it's something other people can give you.