Sometimes I randomly remember that Boromir only went to Rivendell in the first place because the road there from Gondor was full of perils and he didn’t want his beloved little brother to walk that dangerous path so he took the task upon himself like he took every task upon himself to spare Faramir and I just break down.
I love British mystery shows set in beautiful peaceful quaint idyllic towns full of simple happy folk who are constantly murdering the shit out of each other.
tbh the fact that cats purr was an unnecessary bonus we don't always acknowledge. they're already cute and baby and little and soft and make silly noises and do funny shit. but they also like to cuddle and make a soothing pleasant noise to indicate they are happy when they cuddle you? huge. huge for the human race.
A part me mourns that we won't have Felicity on the show. Could you imagine the chaos that 12 year old would bring trying to captain the polin ship meanwhile trying to outplan her older sister and future brother in law?
Colin and Penelope: *makes plans to help wingman and catch Penelope a husband*
Felicity: *internally screaming*
No one makes Galadriel spooky enough. Like yea I get she’s the most beautiful elven maiden the world has ever seen but she’s also downright unsettling.
I bet she fuckin stares at people without blinking for like a solid five minutes and then when you finally ask her what fuck is up she tells you how you’re gonna die.
i would not be angry if you found me to be a lost cause. you must not say such things. you are penelope featherington. do not forget that.
Elrond be like: I am 4/8 human, 3/8 elf, and 1/8 angel. My mother is a bird and my father is the planet Venus. My twin brother was the first king of Atlantis but somehow I seem to be more famous than him. I am one of three ringbearers, the other two being the female version of Feanor and a guy who loves fireworks. My foster father is a crazy homeless guy who likes music and his whole family is dead. My many-greats grandnephew is in love with my daughter. No one can tell my sons apart. I like waterfalls and am both a glorified innkeeper and a top-notch doctor. I am the voice of reason no one listens to.
trying to describe black sails to people is my personal sisyphean task. “it’s a pirate show” bad. “it’s functionally a prequel to treasure island but also it’s not at all” bad again, and also confusing. “it’s about pirates trying to destroy western civilization” mostly only true of the second half of the show and also doesn’t fully capture what i love about it. “it’s a pirate show about the power of stories, how civilization uses shame to keep people in line and turns them into monsters, and the power of queer rage. it’s got some of the best acting, writing, everything of any show i’ve ever seen.” the most accurate, but way too long and makes me sound pretentious and insane. send help i just want to talk about my favorite show.
5x8 | 6x6
weird unprompted opinion but i think out of all the storytelling mediums.....theatre best portrays loneliness
hamlet: [walks onto a movie screen] now i am alone
me: i guess
hamlet: [is left on an empty stage] now i am alone
me: fuck yeah you are
#it's about the sucking hungry silence of a hundred people holding their breath and very intently watching #the one single person on this bare piece of elevated floor that has been filled with so much #artistry and make-believe that it has become a true and real place #good theater sucks the air out of the room #an empty stage echoes (via @aethersea)
So I made some things
And last but not least, this one is for me and my Raoul stans:
I feel so funny
I love the difference in atmosphere between The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit.
LOTR is like:
"THE APOCALYPSE IS COMING! SATAN IS RETURNING! YOU ARE CHOSEN ONE AND MUST DESTROY A MIGHTY TREACHEROUS RELIC TO SAVE THE WORLD!"
And the Hobbit is like:
"A bunch of homeless trying to rob a lizard"
Two iconic fantasy genres
LOTR: Everything is terrible and we're all going to die there's no hope all is lost our only chance is some idiot halfling
SILMARILLION: Then that guy died then that guy died then another guy died then she died then that other guy died again
THE HOBBIT: Let's roam the countryside inviting ourselves for tea at people's houses using that two dwarves at a time trick
Out of doubt, out of dark to the day's rising I came singing in the sun, sword unsheathing. To hope's end I rode and to heart's breaking: Now for wrath, now for ruin and a red nightfall!
Boromir + concern for the Hobbits
okay I’m gonna say this one last time. sword fighting is not about smacking your sword against the other guy’s sword. that only happens in movies to make it look cool without having to actually coordinate any blows/injuries. Real sword fighting is a lot of rushing your opponent trying to jab them and then scrambling back. it is extremely undignified, which is exactly as it should be.
