Hi, hello, hi.

I do want to say, before I say this, this is not a widespread problem, this is a ‘handful of people’ problem, but I need something to pin atop my dash:

At the end of the day, this is my space, and I can do what I want with it, and...it is, in fact, an extremely unconstitutional monarchy. My rule is law.

You don’t have to like me. You don’t have to like my opinions. You don’t have to like my way of doing things. In fact, I would say there’s a number of people who I would call my friends who do not like items two and three at least SOME of the time.

But. Despite everything. This blog belongs to me. And, while I try to be an engaging person, responsive, friendly, and generous of spirit, at the end of the day, I do not owe you anything in particular. I am a human being, with personality and quirks and likes and dislikes and also, strangely, feelings.

All of this sounds like it was prompted by some weird edgelord take but it seems to be centered around anime and how fast and regularly I answer asks.

Me: go open the door for Elijah!

Beeb: *runs and opens the door*

Beeb: Uhh Papa? He's not out here.

Tonight, a newcomer joins the plague

Schedule!

Let's keep ourselves busy this week, friends! Always more to be done, spring around the corner.

Monday, April 14th: I have the day off technically, but as a pracitcal matter I'm going to be trying to finish some writing PRAY FOR ME

Tuesday, April 15th: During the day i have beeb and also i'm showing up at my Senator's office to request an in-person meeting :) (I expect to be rebuffed but I am going to be SO cheerful and annoying)

That night: Frieren!

Wednesday, April 16th: Mushishi! And then that night I am heading to the school board information session.

Thursday, April 17th: I have the beeb during the day (as well as a local organizational meeting that I hope beeb keeps it together for) and then at night, When Evil Lurks!

Friday, April 18th: Asks and writing, and then that night, I am volunteering as a wine pourer for the local college's scholarship fundaraiser!

Saturday, April 19th: Nationwide protest! Get out there! And then I will be at the local easter egg hunt for a car group's first time to try and help out.

Sunday, April 20th: Easter Sunday! I...I don't care about this. I actually may have a liveblog here it all depends on a couple factors. I'll keep you updated.

In that vein, also thinking about kitchen utensils. And how some do different things from others. How a knife holds nothing, warms nothing, but still has its uses.

Longer thoughts on this later, but as a person who is constantly trying to make the world better, and who so often finds herself so fucking angry at the laziness or contempt or stupidity of the people she's trying to help, to the point where I just want to go, "you know what, fuck em! I can make it through. Fuck em. Let em die."

Today I get to be reminded that sometimes Moses felt that way too. So, shatter some tablets about it or some shit, and get back to leading, asshole. You ain't special.

Man, they are trying to bring back the casual rugby league that died in infancy (they were starting it up when the pandemic struck) but now it's no contact and like, if this is not an outlet for my aggressive and competitive nature what are we even doing here.

I am trying to either win or enjoy the consolation of being tackled by a large woman help me out here.

FINALLY FINISHED WITH EVERYTHING

soup then bath then bed

I am singlehandedly responsible for the American egg shortage.

Ten single layer chocolate and 24 almond cupcakes!

Next time I offer to bake the flourless cakes for the congregation on top of doing my own baking the day before passover, i want you to hit me very very hard

One thing I never got to in everything everywhere is Waymond's talk about optimism and how both 1) i agree completely and b) it does so much the deepen and flesh out a character who could be easy to dismiss as childish (because sometimes he is! Which i like! Sometimes Evelyn IS left holding the bag!)

I love hot hot hot showers but someday I'll learn that i can in fact make myself sick doing it and like, take the wisdom

Probably no asks are getting done today sorry I know I fucking suck

AND THAT'S THE HALF?

I know the...I'm going to call them intrusions, are a little annoying, but did we enjoy anyhow? I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear!

if you'd prefer to say it with cash:

You can tip me at either Ko-Fi, or,  since Ko-Fi has recently started running through Paypal as goods and  services, thus taking a fee from my tips, you can just directly tip me at Paypal under @docholligay (But  I recognize ko-fi allows for anon tips so I haven’t gotten rid of it)! If you’d like me to tag you with whatever I get with the tip, please leave a heart emoji in the comments!

What I think is so interesting to me about Marcoh, is, based on what I've seen so far and am remembering IF I AM WRONG PLEASE LET ME LIVE IN MY WRONGNESS is that I think it would be easier for him to deny his part in what he/the military did. He invented a tool, a weapon, a product. he did not make the decision to use it nor was he boots on the ground. i would not AGREE with the statement, but I could see PLENTY of people claiming that. If you write the AI that auto-denies insurance claims, should you be fucking shot? You see what I'm saying here? No one ever thinks they are responsible.

But he doesn't do that! It's so odd in general human action that I can't even decide if I LIKE it or not, but I find it SO STRIKING. He considers himself responsible for what happened in Ishbal, and while I would say, "hm, yeah. Not great." I would also say, "But you didn't carry the whole load. This clusterfuck was a group effort." I mean, I do find it noble that he takes such responsibility, and we all know me: If he was claiming he could do nothing, I would be over here like, "Uh, not entirely true, I think we'll find. You had a couple options! Dying, for example, is nearly always an option." I do not love when people say "I had no choice." That's something we tell ourselves. I've been up against a wall, but I definitely could have died! I just didn't wanna ahhaha. I had a choice, and I fucking made it. But even I am no Marcoh. I will shuffle SOME BLAME onto other things and people. Not him.

PLEASE DO NOT COMMENT ANYTHING THAT COULD EVEN REMOTELY LEAD TO ME REALIZING SOMETHING OR KNOWING SOMETHING NEW. Do not confirm, deny, draw attention to something I missed EVEN IF I SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT, contextualize in a cultural or historical way, anything. I hate that I have to be so specific but I am trying to experience this show totally clean. IF YOU SPOIL ME I WILL BLOCK YOU.

QUICK LINK TO THE SPOILER-FILLED FUNTIMES DISCORD HERE. THEY WOULD LOVE TO HEAR THE THINGS YOU KNOW AND YELL ABOUT ME

You know, maybe this show WILL let shit be horrible and evil but also complicated. Would YOU be willing to live your life on the run like Marcoh? I mean, it's all very easy for us to sit here and go, 'Oh absolutely I would" and boy I sure hope I would but desertion is a hanging offense. I know I've sometimes turned coward for lower stakes, and that's very embarrassing for me, but on the plus side I don't imagine myself to be a stalwart crystal pillar of justice and then get afraid of the barista being nasty to me, so.

Anyhow, this is being asked in a very, 'Do you know the price of dissent?" way. And I love that! I want the show to engage in the idea that EVERYTHING COSTS. You can be sleepless because you're a monster, or sleepless because you're on the run, and fucking choose. So! I mean, excited now? Afraid to be, but yes?

PLEASE DO NOT COMMENT ANYTHING THAT COULD EVEN REMOTELY LEAD TO ME REALIZING SOMETHING OR KNOWING SOMETHING NEW. Do not confirm, deny, draw attention to something I missed EVEN IF I SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT, contextualize in a cultural or historical way, anything. I hate that I have to be so specific but I am trying to experience this show totally clean. IF YOU SPOIL ME I WILL BLOCK YOU.

QUICK LINK TO THE SPOILER-FILLED FUNTIMES DISCORD HERE. THEY WOULD LOVE TO HEAR THE THINGS YOU KNOW AND YELL ABOUT ME