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Patronize these kids at your own risk.

Real talk, Bulbasaur would be the best pet ever if it was real, let me list you some reasons of why:

Bad Cats.

OP, you fool. These are THE BEST CATS

@addignisherlock the best cats

Fun fact: Cheetahs only attack prey that runs

jesus that is good to know.

Yup, that’s the point you just stay still and let it do whatever the fuck it wants that doesn’t involved you getting eaten. 

REALLY FUN FACT for big cats cheetahs are fucking docile as shit

my grandfather ran a cheetah sanctuary in south africa and he’d just lie with them and sleep among them and they’d rub against him and chirp at him they’re big fucking babies

Another Fun Fact: Cheetahs are incredibly nervous animals. One of the (many) reason’s they’re going extinct is that cheetahs are so sensitive and nervous, some of them are literally too nervous to breed. Others will breed, but stress themselves out so much, they’ll lose their cubs. So zoos with breeding programs had to figure out how to make cheetahs comfortable enough to first of all, get laid and secondly - not spazz themselves into miscarrying. So what’d they do? They gave the cheetah’s their very own Service Dogs! The dogs make them feel safe, protected and secure!

AJHHHHFDDGHH SO PRECIOUS

this post just got so much better

THIS IS OFFICIALLY MY FAVOURITE POST

this is emmett and cullen they are best friends

This is the greatest thing I’ve seen all day.

Dogs are truly angels.

Geoffrey The Giraffe enters the rumble and gets eliminated by a Amazon package

Heathen! Sinner! Consumer of the bitter cup! Renounce your ways and return to wholesome foods your ancestors have set aside for you! For it is not too late for you to renounce the shadowy ways of the dark, and return to that which is light!!

Heathen! Sinner! Reveller of the saccharine lies! Renounce your ways and return to the truth of the gods! For it is not too late for you to renounce the falsehood of this pale excuse of an imitation and return to what it’s right!

It is war then! For there is room only for one confection in the Holy Kingdom! To-Arms, to-arms, and may the heavens have mercy upon you all!

But wait! Stay thy hand, chocolate crusaders! What if there’s another option? A mythical third chocolate, neither dark nor white?

What foul sorcery is this!?

Hail Kanexan, what are the ingredients used in your proposed chocolate? They look like fruit. From what I had seen, such are usually made from white bases.

Nay, noble Sophtopus! ‘Tis made from the ruby cocoa bean, bred specially for the purpose, and involves neither white nor dark chocolate. I pray that this can be what brings us all together, heals our shattered kingdom: a third, neutral chocolate, as precious as the gems that bear its name!

Dear lord, it is sorcery indeed!

Shoo, you knave! Don’t touch the Ruby One! This is why you White Chocolates are a scourge! If the ruby one is born straight from the pods of the god trees, then they’re the same league as the Darks. But! If they were created by the trickery of alchemists then maybe perhaps it is indeed witchcraft. At least I hope we can agree that the most heretic of heretics had to be the Carob. Masquerades of the highest degree!

Vile pretender! For it is nothing more than an insidious false prophet! There only to lead the young and foolish astray! Indeed, the sooner we can wipe away this scourge from the land, the better off we all shall be!

Yes indeed, we shall all join forces to destroy the false chocolate. Despite our current hostilities, at least we have the right to bear the glorious name of chocolate! Carob is naught but a usurper to our royal and dignified lines!

And fear not, o Herald of Dark, ruby chocolate is untouched by the evil sorcerer-alchemist Gee-em Ohs; ‘tis a creation of nature and patience, like any other crop fit for man’s consumption!

Hmm. Hmmmmmmmmmmm. I concur. We indeed have a more pressing problem. The Carobs continue to sow their seeds of confusion, leading to the deaths of many innocent animals. We chocolates are too potent for the majority of beasts, both great and small. This confusion must END!  Onwards, against the Carobs! As for the matters about the Ruby One, she appears to be a new princess from the Orient. Secretive people. If that’s the case, she will be treated on a respectful neutral stance by the Darks until further rapport could be done.

Thank you for showing respect to the princess, Dark Herald; I am but her humble steward, here to build relationships with the Kingdoms of Dark and Light. We, too, have been concerned over the growing power of the Carobs; I am glad to hear that there are potential allies in this fight; if the Lights will join us, we shall be unstoppable!

Can’t hear you, too busy driving forth the unholy scourge of the Carobs from the land. We will get back to you when we’re done, hearing the lamentations of their women sending them to meet their ancestors.

Has no one brought up milk chocolate yet, or…? :-/

Mahou Shoujo Yurina’s main heroine by okyankyan03

The author is working on a follow-up! Please show them your appreciation by liking and sharing their post. Translation and typesetting by Ray Distance. 

MY DAD GAVE ME A GOLDEN GAYTIME IVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER

I DIDNT REALISE HOW THIS MIGHT SOUND TO NON-AUSTRALIANS IM REALLY SORRY

i feel like you australians are just fucking with us now

me

‘Kobe’ is for accuracy, ‘Yeet’ is for distance.