If I had this setup I’d wake people up while they’re tied to a chair and have this play once they’re fully awake

Never before have I seen anything that is so much.

What instruments do you play?

Him: yes

@kingofthewilderwest

★ 2k Followers Celebration ★

one tectonic plate approaching another

“so are you a top or a bottom?”

two tops? you get a mountain. two bottoms? VALLEY BRO

i don’t know anything about geology

Are you (Mg,Fe2+)2(Mg,Fe2+)5Si8O22(OH)2?

I had to google that and i swear to fuck I will kill you

alright this is fine

i cant believe there are people who still havent seen this video

I could probably recite this entire video, word-for-word, on demand.

Goddamn, this is nearly thirty years old and it fits like a glove into contemporary shitpost cadence and aesthetics, this is High Art

IT BETTER NOT BOUNCE OR YOU’RE A DEAD MOTHERFUCKER

how do you draw insects in chinese painting

artist 新田小写意

By furafura

a fools guide to not wanting to die anymore

by me, a fool who doesnt wanna die anymore 

… 8|

That’s some pretty good advice. I don’t know what’s left of my humor after ‘guess I’ll just die’ jokes but it’s worth a shot.

Personally i went from “guess I’ll die” jokes to “IF I HAVE TO BE HERE FOR 5 MORE MINUTES I PROMISE YOU I WILL BUY JUST, AN ARRAY OF CLOTHES.” and other wild hyperbolic stuff. Just replace the death part with something ridiculous and off topic. Its very entertaining

This also works with calling myself things like stupid, worthless, trash, etc. Even if you do this jokingly to yourself, your brain still believes it, and keeps up the cycle. Seriously, I found that when I stopped saying these things about myself, even jokingly, it made a massive difference.

Here’s a tip I picked up from a friend that’s helped me a lot — replace self deprecating jokes with ironically self aggrandizing jokes

Like every time I trip and fall, instead of saying “l’m just a disaster human” I say “I’m the epitome of grace and beauty”

Or like, when I draw a picture I’m not 100% happy with, instead of saying “my art is trash” I say something like “you know I think it’s time we replaced the Mona Lisa”

When you do that you get to make a joke, but you’re ALSO getting practice building yourself up, y’know?

And eventually it becomes a reflex and you get so used to it that you can say nice stuff about yourself even when you AREN’T joking

This is so important

That self-aggrandizing technique is no joke.

I replaced “I’m stupid” with “I’m a God damn genius.” “Move over newton” “another masterpiece”

I replaced “gross/ disgusting” with “sexy/attractive” “the hight of elegance”

I replaced “I suck/ that sucked/ this is bad” with “fantastic”, “a lovely time”, “ swell/jolly good”

Replace every negative with a positive. Say it so sarcastically. Make it complicated make it entertaining have fun with it.

It will stop your self deprecating and build confidence. And people are more easygoing around you.

   And by fair trial, we mean by launching the most suspicious person into the orbit of the nearest planet. — Did someone suggest an Among Us comic? No? [edit: Tumblr MAJORLY fucked up my “Read more” and REFUSES to let me add it again, so here I am having to subject you all to long posts. I apologize.]

juicedoesthings: 


And by fair trial, we mean by launching the most suspicious person into the orbit of the nearest planet. 
— Did someone suggest an Among Us comic? No? [edit: Tumblr MAJORLY fucked up my “Read more” and REFUSES to let me add it again, so here I am having to subject you all to long posts. I apologize.]

Time to post my favorite sequences from Samurai Jack

Such amazing use of light and darkness in animation

Someone's trying to follow me and my mom home, Jesus Christ this is terrifying

Ok, just pulled into a fire station.

Word of advice, if someone tries to flag you down on a highway, pointing to the back of your car, there isn’t anything wrong. They want to kill you. Never stop for them.

They may try to pin you in a lane on the highway. They won’t let you get ahead of them, they will try to prevent you from getting behind them. Fuck traffic laws. Gun it, throw on your brakes, honk your horn and do not stop. get away from them at all costs. Don’t go home, go to the police or go to a fire station. Explain what happened and have them look over ur car.

Reblog this around. Seems like common sense, but also not something that can happen to everyone.

I was on the I-5 in Washington State. The van was white, with blacked out windows. There was graffiti or something on the right side of the van, but I was too scared to read it.

Everyone please be safe, if you are in the Puyallup or Tacoma area, please be even more careful.

If you need to pull over, if possible, take the nearest exit and park somewhere well lit with people around. Gas stations, other 24/7 locations.

If a cop’s got their lights on and are trying to pull you over, put your hazards on, pull to the right lane, and slowly drive somewhere public. You can use your cell to call 911, confirm it’s really a cop behind you, reassure the operator you’re just pulling over somewhere safe because you don’t trust the shoulder of the highway etc.

This happened to my mom in DC in the 70's. A strange man was watching her pump gas at the station and she noticed him driving behind her afterwards. She experimented to be sure he was following her. She made a random right and then left turn and he kept up. So, when she got to her homestreet she kept driving and desperately looked for a gas station where she was friendly with the guys there. A group a black guys she knew in passing worked there. Well, once she got there, she said she hopped out of the care in a panic and told them what was happening... So at least three of them went out front and yelled "HEY, MAN!" and the guy sped off. But it's not over yet. They told my mom to hang out for awhile because the man could still be lurking. Since one of them would be getting off soon and would follow to make sure (the knew his make and model and the plates). Sure enough... The man WAS waiting a little ways down the road at a grocery store to start following again... Dude honked a cut a fuss and again he sped off. My mom went to the police station afterwards (the gas station dud vouched for her and gave a description of the guy). So BOTH cars followed my mom home and the station sent a care out to watch her apartment that night. My mom never saw that guy that was following her again, but she is certain he was determined to do her harm at her apartment.

Guys, if a car follows you:

DO NOT GO HOME!

GO TO THE NEAREST POLICE STATION/FIRE STATION!

This has been happening a lot more recently in the Seattle/Tacoma area

If you can't get to one of these, get your ass to a liquor store. Thanks to robbery and drunk folks, people who work at liquor stores know exactly how to put the place on lockdown and the cops will get there damn fast if they're called.

It’s fucking scary that we even have to share this information around. Reblog to save a life.

This has way too many notes and is a sad commentary on society but continue to share this information. Spread it around!

Once again its 3am and this washing machine wizard haunts me

My parents continuously tell me that my generation’s humour makes no sense and I still refuse to ever explain it to them

turn on the sound!

Harley & Ivy

This is why I love them!

Harley is an abuse survivor of course she’d wreck this dude!!!

Can I just say how much I love the implications here? Harley and Ivy are known public figures. People know who they are, and recognize them. And this kid knows that, despite being violent criminals, they’re safe enough to go to for protection. Ivy is dead certain that the Batfamily will be okay with them intervening to protect a kid. That has some intersting implications - either she knows damn well where the lines lie and that this is overriding enough to get her a pass, or (more likely, given the first bit) this has come up before.

one of my favorite tropes is villains acting heroically not because the other villain is a threat to them or because it benefits them, but because they have standards

^^^ That’s the good shit right there

Always reblog protector Harley and Ivy

I think this illustrates that there is sometimes a separation between the types of villains. There are some villains who have little to no redeeming qualities like Joker and then you have what’s shown in this panel. Two of the most infamous villains with the mindset of, “Wait a minute! No, you don’t hurt children! They’re off limits!”

This (official) story is in the anthology series Batman: Black and White. Fourth volume of the series, third issue, printed 2013. Written by Paul Dini himself and drawn by Stephane Roux.

and it has an even happier ending!

I love this????

Thanks for adding the ending!

fuck, now I’m crying

Oh look. It’s MY Batman. The real Batman, not the hypermasculine ultraviolent for the sake of ultraviolence asshole that keeps popping up in popular media.

The Batman who held Ace’s hand. The Batman who keeps trying to get his rogue’s gallery treatment. The Batman who hands low-tier thugs a Wayne Enterprises business card and says “call them about a job.” The Batman who isn’t black and white, the Batman who recognizes even “bad” people can do “good” things. The Batman who genuinely cares about people, not just punishment.

this one’s for all the fat girls who’ve cried in dressing rooms 💗

You’re fine. The clothes are made to be easy to manufacture on machines, not for bodies. The clothes suck, not you.

They’re also manufactured to look attractive on hangers, and very few of us are shaped like hangers. You’re fine.

😱😰😭😭😭😭😭😭😭thank u please more of this type of body positivity I need it

Legit though! I’m a hobbyist seamstress and these are my experiences when shopping mainstream:

For example, most H&M blouses these days don’t even have boobdarts. Which means they will sit awkwardly on literally anyone with boobs, no matter the size. But on hangers or when folded on display? They look fab as fuck. Because hangers don’t have boobs. And the models chosen to show them on the catwalk are usually chosen for their lack of boobage too (unless it’s for lingerie), other requirements including ridiculous size and weight requirements. As for the average (EU available) clothing shops, the worst offender I’ve encountered yet was Zara. Everything’s way too long and way too flat: clearly aimed to look good on the catwalk models but not intended for normal people. At all.

Also sizes are just numbers. Shopping online has taught me that I’m a European M, an American XS-S, and a Japanese L-XL. And then these sizes even vary from shop to shop in the same country: I’m an XL at Apples but an S at Lola&Liza, for example. They’ve also been reducing the sizes of these numbers throughout the years to make people feel bad about themselves and to sell more weight-loss products. Don’t let a number get you down, it does not define you.

So please don’t feel bad about yourself when shops refuse to cater to your size. The clothes they sell are not aimed at real human beings. They are the ones in the wrong here, not you!

body posi posts are the ones 

I needed this after yesterday. :/

(these are figures for the French clothing industry but I’m sure it’s true in other countries)

Only 0.6% of clothes are available in 46 (again : french size) when 10% of women wear that size. 14% of clothes are available in 34 when only 0.7% of women wear that size.

The most selled size is 42 when the most manufactured is 36.

See the problem? It’s the whole industry that sucks. Not you and your body.

At this point we should just go back to sewing our own clothes.