some valentiney thoughts on this early-march evening
so I, like a lot of yearner-extraordinare music major gals all over the world, love Laufey. every year on feb 14th I post a mini cover of one of her songs (so far it’s been like the movies, let you break my heart again, and lovesick). I had hoped so much that, come this past valentine’s day, I’d be able to fully relate to her song of that name; I’m twenty-one now, and it would have been just lovely, especially given that lyric in the bridge.
but now that that’s passed and I’m as unrequited as ever, I’m remembering the second half of that line-“I don’t even know who I want to become.” and that’s not something I’ve ever related to. I’ve always known I intend to be someone who has a real and positive impact on the world, an actress and musician and writer, someone with big windows and cozy sweaters and plants and really good friends and vintage jewelry and maybe a tony award (and for my soprano range to never dwindle, even in age. hey, a girl can dream). someone with someone to sing romantic duets with. someone with time to see family and make things and drink warm tea. someone loved and wanted. someone authentically myself.
so, I’m thinking about the future now. if some wonderful person comes along over the next year, perhaps it’ll be “what am I to do/I’m only 22/I’ve learned what I want, and it’s always been you”. or maybe there’ll be yet another year of pining and it’ll come later: “maybe I should flee/I’m only 23/but somehow this love has me feeling so free”.
but the song will always be there for when the love finally follows.
and until then, there’s always dreamer.