Murderbot: God, I fucking hate humans *adopts every earnest and nice human it meets* they're so annoying *practically melts every time one listens to it or asks for its opinion* they're so stupid I'm just going to let them die when they make stupid decisions *almost dies protecting its humans multiple times* If one more human touches me I will break their wrist *holds scared humans' hand and raises body temperature as reassurance* don't even get me STARTED on that asshole research transport I hate it so much *misses it constantly and compares all other bots to it* I'm just a scary angry rogue SecUnit who everyone should be afraid of *sits on the couch and watches serials for 20 hours straight*

I am honestly deeply curious about people's preferences from this list. Mostly as I just made one of these and brought it to a potluck and it is gone. Leave your distaste for Midwest cuisine at the door please. Yes, all of it will fluff you up for winter, that's like 63% of the point.

But for real? Which one do you just... almost hate yourself for loving the most?

we still get immediately shoved out of our immersion in tv shows or films when The Girl find a dead body and immediately shrieks - we just don't find it realistic because we're pretty confident most people would gasp rather than shriek (i.e. sharp inhale rather than sharp exhale) and it also feels unnecessarily (and predictably) misogynistic too, as men encountering corpses almost never do the same on screen

also of course please do tell us if you've actually encountered a corpse unexpectedly, because tumblr is absolutely a place where some people have done this thing and we love a good anecdote

suddenly imagining "burst into song" as a potential response

things i’ll not call you a whore for:

things i’ll call you a whore for:

why are lemons separate from food op?

everyone knows lemons arent food

lemon stealing whores are a huge issue separate from food stealing whores. there’s a whole documentary about whores stealing lemons from the trees of unsuspecting victims. you can see the first two minutes of it here.

Thats a rickroll. That totally is a fucking rickroll. No fukin way. Not falling for it.

dude, trust me, that isn’t a rick roll. its something worse

Me to the rest of tumblr after actually watching what was in the link:

…I really don’t know what I was expecting.

What the fuck did i just watch.

It- it’s not a Rick roll

Have we really reached a time when the Lemon Stealing Whores are no longer common knowledge.

Favorite thing about renaissance faires is that they have fuck all to to with the renaissance. This thang is not about historical anything this is about dressing up like a fairy and watching a joust

#a samurai with a flintlock pistol sitting next to a guy dressed as a caveman drinking a styrofoam cup of dr pepper#and it fucks severely

It's not THE renaissance, it's A renaissance. Of what? Up to you

Y'all, the world is sleeping on what NASA just pulled off with Voyager 1

The probe has been sending gibberish science data back to Earth, and scientists feared it was just the probe finally dying. You know, after working for 50 GODDAMN YEARS and LEAVING THE GODDAMN SOLAR SYSTEM and STILL CHURNING OUT GODDAMN DATA.

So they analyzed the gibberish and realized that in it was a total readout of EVERYTHING ON THE PROBE. Data, the programming, hardware specs and status, everything. They realized that one of the chips was malfunctioning.

So what do you do when your probe is 22 Billion km away and needs a fix? Why, you just REPROGRAM THAT ENTIRE GODDAMN THING. Told it to avoid the bad chip, store the data elsewhere.

Sent the new code on April 18th. Got a response on April 20th - yeah, it's so far away that it took that long just to transmit.

And the probe is working again.

From a programmer's perspective, that may be the most fucking impressive thing I have ever heard.

hey duck

youre no good duck

ya just like ya fatha

I think the most fun part of monsters inc is boo calling sulley “kitty” and mike wazowski by full government name

I know some fic writers get stressed about writing tropes they think are too popular or overdone, and I need you all to know that I just spent 4 hours reading every iteration of the same exact fic plot I could find, and they all brought me an indescribable amount of joy. Listen. Listen. Sometimes you want cakes of many flavours and sometimes you want Nine Carrot Cakes

the dev patel girlies have KNOWN how hot he is for years and years but the little giggle I heard from a grown man seated next to me when he took his shirt off in monkey man tells me it's truly over for everyone else. god bless

not only that but it's a really well maintained flat dirt road. My power wheelchair could take that road.

if you don‘t personally own one but your roommates/parents do and you are allowed to use it, that counts as yes

My ideal aesthetic is what I'm calling "sexy tomboy". That is to say, I am 100% femme through and through, but I want to look like what a straight man's idea of a "masculine woman" is. I wanna be masc in the way that LaCroix is fruit flavored, just a little extra something to make things a little more interesting

This you?

I don't think I'll ever recover from this one

I, THE DRIVER BEHIND YOU AT THIS STOPLIGHT, HAVE DEDUCED THAT YOU COULD HAVE THREADED THAT LEFT TURN BETWEEN THOSE TWO CARS IF YOU FLOORED IT BEARING 92° SOUTH AND CAUGHT THE WIND.

HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK

source

blogging

Me trying to get the last bit of whipped cream out of the can.