It's fun to stay at the Last Homely House

“You don’t frighten us, Gondorian pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottom, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Aragorn King, you and all your silly commmmm-panions. Thpppppt! Thppt! Thppt!”

The tone of Lord of the Rings changes significantly when you learn that Sauron isn’t his name but an elvish pun on it that basically means “that mother fucker”

especially when you learn that he kept calling himself smth like “Mairon the Admirable” or “Tar-Mairon” (King Excellent), despite all the Middle-Earth calling him “Stinky” (elv. saura - “foul, evil-smelling, putrid” ).

Ok but I really love how the LOTR films use colors/costume design to show Denethor’s power over the other characters

Like: every character in LOTR has their own set of Characteristic Colors™. Denethor’s Characteristic Colors™ are desaturated black and grey:

. These aren’t necessarily Gondor’s colors (I’ll get to that in a minute) but they’re definitely his. In The Two Towers’ flashback scene, Gondor’s soldiers are dressed in Denethor’s black/grey, including Boromir:

But when Boromir leaves Gondor– and is free from needing to carefully Perform in front of his father– he starts wearing his own Characteristic Colors™ instead. These colors are royal red, gold and blue:

(Literally wearing your true colors)

Meanwhile Faramir, unlike Boromir, doesn’t wear Denethor’s colors in the flashback. He wears his own Characteristic Colors™, which are brown/green, bc Faramir does not do what Denethor wants him to do…

….until ROTK, when Faramir surrenders to his father’s will and exchanges his characteristic brown/green armor for black/grey armor. It’s like his identity is stripped away

Similarly, Pippin’s Characteristic Colors™ are blue/green:

But when he enters Denethor’s service:

No individual expression allowed

“But black and grey with no accents are Gondor’s colors–” Nahhh I don’t buy  Denethor’s anti-color propaganda. When Aragorn replaces Denethor, the first thing he brings back is colorful fashion

Aragorn doesn’t wear black and grey, like Denethor did. He wears things that merge the black/white of Gondor with the sort of royal red/blue/gold of Boromir’s characteristic colors

And so at last the tyranny of Denethor’s drab fashion sense was ended

we’re gonna have to start eatin hard cheese and cured salted meats again to try to dodge badly inspected food like just go ahead and give me a set of leather armor and send me on a quest if you’re so set on returning us to darker times

me as i ingest unhealthy amounts of carbohydrates to drown out my problems 

u ever think about how ur skeleton is always wet

I wish I never had but thanks for ruining my life

don ’ t worry ! there will come a time when it ’ s not :)

Thanks! Even worse :)

I find it fascinating that people who choose not to have children are generally assumed to feel really strongly about not having children (or even to feel really strongly against children, anyone’s children, in general). I am probably not going to have children, not because I REALLY REALLY HATE the idea of having children, but because I don’t really really love it. Out of all the major decisions I will make in my life, this one is the only irreversible one. I can sell a house, quit a job, divorce a spouse, whatever. I cannot unhave a child. I cannot opt out of being a parent once I become a parent. I can’t even take a step back for the sake of self-care or whatever, or else my child will suffer.

So for me, having children is fuck yes or not at all. The default will be to remain childfree. Having children should be an opt-in decision, not an opt-out one. Until/unless I develop really strong feelings about wanting to have children, I won’t have them, even if that means I never end up having them at all.

instead of saying “i want to kill myself” whenever something bad happens to me as a result of circumstances beyond my control i’ve started saying “i’m going to kill god” and it’s honestly done wonders for my self-esteem

you know what? 2019 mood

This is so pure I love this grandma <3

I’m so happy for her!!!

Saruman: Sauron is growing stronger and all but he’s not strong enough to be physical yet, so instead he’s got a big ol’ honking eye that he uses to look at things. it’s super creepy, has no eyelids, and it’s 100% on fire and also it can see through you, good luck sleeping tonight

Gandalf: how did you get that oddly specific knowledge

Saruman:

humans: awwww the kitty loves the tree look the magic of xmas touches everyone

cat: im gonna eat it

When you’re in the 1400’s Florence and your buddy starts coughing

I will never not find this funny

What would Aragorn have done if that one dark seat at the back of the Prancing Pony was already taken? 

If you think Aragorn wasn’t sitting there for hours hogging that table just to make an entrance, I don’t know what to tell you. 

I. LOVE. THIS. WOKE. KING.

Ben and Jerry’s gives No Shits

Yooooooo 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Me: Well, isn’t that nice, Ben and Jerry’s are branching out and they’re changing th–OOOOH THEY WENT THERE

COVFEFE

You know what they did? That.

Me to my skin: we’re adults now, let’s act like it.