If Libras are so charming & loveable, why can’t I get a job

My Scorpio, Aqua Moon friend likes to go to bed with a knife under his pillow & keeps a spare knife in his bathroom “just in case.”

My experience with the Mars Signs (stoner edition) 🌿

Aries Mars 🔥: They don’t like to put in a spot where they’re vulnerable or show vulnerability. Tough exterior but a softie inside. Likes to be competitive. Straightforward, ambitious, athletic, & motivated. They always bring the party and inclusive towards everyone. Rather be left alone when in a bad mood because they hate people seeing them in a negative state. They’re also terrible drivers & don’t like taking blame for shit 😂. Always on the lookout for self improvement. Every Aries Mars I’ve met knows how to kick ass. All of them are successful because they are so self driven

Taurus Mars 🌸: keeps it ✨lowkey✨. Straight to the point, doesn’t take bullshit, also doesn’t take no for an answer. Not afraid of confrontation when something bothers them. Introverted but charismatic, honest, forgiving, and articulate. They can’t fake an attitude so what you see is what you get. Goal oriented, cool headed, & self-aware. Knows how to command the room, laid back stoners, good vibes, chill temper. Knows what they want and how to get it.

Gemini Mars 👯: Always a child at heart ❤️. Bad at handling stressful situations because they’re already stressed to begin with. Very witty and super sassy but it’s nothing personal. Expressive, intellectual, & popular. Great story tellers & stand up comedians. Not the life of the party because bitch they ARE the party. Is a meme & refers everyone by "bitch" on a daily basis.

Cancer Mars 🦀: Passive aggressive & vindictive when enraged. Likely to carry grudges and be manipulative. Yet, they’re very understanding, caring, and motherly. They make great therapists and people seek for their advice and comfort. Introverted, factual, and honest. Can be possessive and jealous of the people close to them because they hate sharing anything. Very selective of who they include into their circle because they want to protect their energy. When mad, they post a black screen on Snapchat and rant about it through 50 stories

Leo Mars 🦁: Extra af. Peaked in high school. They’re the main character, everyone’s best friend, your local drug dealer, & next door neighbor. Never seems to get bored easily because they would find a way to have fun. Has a big temper and reacts over dramatically. Arguments may lead to swinging 👊. People are naturally drawn to their positive energy & strong presence. Worst road rage ever 🚨. Dresses to impress. That one friend your mom keeps comparing you to. Likes to make up stories. Flex too much 💪

Virgo Mars 🎓: strategic & kinky. Critical of themselves more then they are of others. Socially distant but friendly when approached. Has respect for everyone & are selfless. Constantly doubting themselves. Loves playing video games, watching comic movies, and looking into world mysteries. Always looking for improvement but still happy with who they are and where they’re at. Unbothered and thinks everyone has good intentions

Libra Mars ⚖️: I’ve met a lot of Libra Mars. Energetic cheerleaders or a rich ladies man. Bubbly and upbeat attitude. Popular, social butterflies, charismatic as well as diplomatic. Passive aggressive but it’s subtle. Has strong values and not afraid to speak up. They’re ✨THAT BITCH✨ a natural born queen/king 👑 . Has a lot of strong connections & networking comes easy for them

Scorpio Mars 🦂: They’re cool headed & go with the flow types. They’re sensitive but they’re good at hiding it until the right time. Always has their guard up and socially distant. Likes to be prepared for the worst. They’re very reserved and don’t reveal much but reveal enough to satisfy. Communicates through sarcasm. Loyalty, honesty, & respect is valued. They move in silence so they’re less likely to talk about their goals or what they’re doing. Jealous but passionate lovers & always on some hoe sht

Sagittarius Mars 🖕: Real life Jack Sparrow & also that one friend in the group that has a lot of money & weed but no one knows where it’s from + the money’s still coming. Most likely comitted a crime in the past and got away with it. Over exaggerates. Enjoys putting themselves & others in risky situations because it wouldn’t be a Sag Mars without recklessness 🤪. Mad for no reason ‘cause they’re in their head a lot. Bad temper so piss them off, they’ll break your nose quite literally. Dislikes broody people, confrontation, being someone’s therapist. Can be a hypocrite and an overthinker but they never make false promises. Always late, loud as fuck at 3 AM, carefree, self-confident, & a hot head with a high sex drive.

Capricorn Mars 🔪: Reserved, poker faced, the awkward class clown, the quiet cool kid that’s unbothered. Dislikes drama and people who talk too much/do too much. Dislikes seeing people who can’t get it together or do simple tasks. Hates it when someone tries to start an argument with them. Always informed, always prepared for the worst, likes to plan ahead of time. Last minute plans or pushiness irritates them. They don’t like to preach or talk about themselves. They’re good listeners and a friend of a lifetime. Ninja runs through hallways though 💨

Aquarius Mars ⚡️: They’re likely either your boss, or someone in authority. Gets along with everyone. Enjoys the company of people but emotionally distant at the same time. Excellent communicators & naturally understands the psychology of how people work. Great people skills and a walking dictionary 📖. Thinks they’re Google. Communicates through memes. Relatable, inquisitive, patient, go-getters, & natural leaders. Less likely to mix friendships and work together. They’re also pretty daring and likely to be open to do something outside of their comfort zone

Pisces Mars 🐠: The type to cry & throw things when angry. Bubbly, spiritual, sensitive, genuine, & free-spirited. A lot of people think that they know them but there’s a lot more about them than they reveal (that’s just the tip of the iceberg 🧊). Explosive temper 💣. Creative, open minded, likes to explore about the unknown, supportive, & imaginative. Avoids small talk & pretends they have superpowers. Dislikes being in awkward situations & feeling nervous