so tonight I’m at synagogue, listening to the Purim Night reading of the Book of Esther, like you do

and near the end of this chapter my brain presents me with the following:

nooooo ooooone plots like Haman calls the shots like Haman plans a genocide by casting lots like Haman

(It only works with the Hebrew pronunciation of Haman, which, like Gaston, is accented on the second syllable.)

By the time we get home my brain has added:

for there’s none so well-favored and kingly yes, we all can be certain of that he’s so rich that his pockets are jingly and he looks really sharp in a three-cornered hat

*face in hands*

Petition to sing this every year at Purim.

I shared this with my dad, and he added:

No one’s spruce as Haman, Nor abstruse as Haman; No one’s half as good tying a noose as Haman! He’ll use gallows in all of his decorating! No one else hangs as well as Haman!

niiiiice

i know several people who will definitely appreciate this.

this is beautiful

oh wait

When I was a lad I hatched four dozen plots Every morning, to raise myself high… And now that I’m grown I hatch five dozen plots So all those who oppose me shall die!

Oy, what a goy, that Haman!

*SPLUTTERS*

There’s no force like Haman! Stays the course like Haman! Or goes riding out on the King’s horse like Haman!

What other man would the King choose to honor?

Surely it must be Haman!

Oh that's not bad -- except the second-to-last line needs to rhyme. (With what, you ask? With the same line in every verse -- see "as a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating" / "I'm especially good at expectorating" / "I use antlers in all of my decorating" / "And his marriage we soon will be celebrating" in the original.)

So perhaps swap that out with For who else would the King be appreciating?

Also: happy ten-year anniversary to this silly song, and so many thanks to everybody who's suggested additions.

Lovely Subway Tile Art at 81st St B,C stop at Museum of natural history

I love this stop and haven't been there in way too long.

i'm in this picture and desperately want out of it

One of the many problems with using euphemistic language is that the euphemism eventually just becomes the new word for the thing. We can't use "ejaculated" as a dialogue tag anymore because that's just the normal word for nutting. We can't refer to a dialogue as an "intercourse" anymore because that's just the normal word for fucking.

And referring to a construction project as "an erection" is right out. They won't even tee-hee about how you used a word that also means penis; they'll just think you're calling the building a penis and wonder what that's supposed to mean.

That eccentric bisexual mountaineer made roughly the same observation in his novel Moonchild:

This also keeps happening to all the words for "place where you poop". The word "bathroom" is perceived as indelicate even though it literally means "room where you bathe". Likewise the word "toilet", for both the room and the piece of plumbing. I'm not sure I could define the literal meaning of "commode" on a bet.

We've got so many layered euphemisms that when I read Le Guin's The Dispossesed and encountered the wholly non-euphemistic term "shitstool", I was genuinely shocked to realize I had never heard a non-euphemistic term for it before.

My toxic trait is that I don't have a strong emotional connection to Hallelujah. It was never in the repertoire of Jewish Music when I was growing up (heck not even so much now), so I don't find great religious meaning in it, nor do I particularly begrudge Christians liking it. The tune does slap hard for Lecha Dodi though.

#Fr though davening never meant as much to me as zemiros#Lecha dodi my beloved#Yom zeh mechubad my beloved#Ka ribon olam my beloved#Etc etc etc

It's true and you should say it. Yom Zeh Mechubad slaps, Tzur Mishelo slaps, Tzam'a Nafshi slaps, Yom Zeh LeYisrael slaps, they all slap

This is Yedid Nefesh erasure. :P

In musical revenge for this flippant comment, I now have Tzama Nafshi earwormed in my head, the tune where -- not to be a bais yaakover on main, but -- if you're not crying by the middle of it, you're doing it wrong.

ngl shalesh shudes wins at zmiros.

My favorite part is when you’re getting really into it and everything and then you’re hit with the “beneikh hameis ubeni hachai” like wait what

while i agree that shalesh shudes zemiros slap, i'd like to point out the ever wonderful friday night zemiros of ma yedidut

you have not lived until you are in a crowd of fifteen year old girls, or in a crowd of older teen and young adult gays, singing at the top of your lungs "U'LESHADECH HABANOT" while also being ace and it just doesn't matter because you're screaming with everybody

another contender is ana b'koach where you try to out-sing everyone

Oh yeah, the absolute screaming of that phrase. #jewishgirlculture

listen have you ever analyzed the rhyme and meter schemes of some of those zemirot? amazing. flawless. so gratuitously complicated. love them so much.

man I miss being able to sing these with family and friends in multipart harmony. it's been too long.

What completely random and mundane line from Crit Role do you repeat way more frequently than you ever would have thought when you first heard it? Bonus points if absolutely no one around you knows you’re quoting anything.

Mine is using the exact same intonation as Lou Wilson in Calamity to say “It’s beautiful!”

Kiri's "Yes I am very sweet" and "go fuck yourself"

Taliesin as Percy saying "That'll do."

Also "Time is a weird soup."

(Via @archangeltama)

Been a while since I drew a furry comic based off of a tumblr post

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

heirloom farmer Bettinakbh in Denmark

Inquisition should have let me start the Protestant Reformation. There should have been an option for my mage Trevelyan to derail everyone's politics by telling them Andraste thinks they're a little bitch and to free the mages

I should at LEAST be allowed to pull a Dona Gracia Nasi and refuse to speak to anybody who doesn't unilaterally agree on removing the Templars from the Circles

....where's my Revolutionary Hat?????

What's the point of having a massive army of soldiers, diplomats, and spies if I don't use them to create a religious panic?????

i wanna start a religious schism, bioware. what's the point of having an army if i can't start a religious schism

@digitalcactusblog oh I 100% fully believe that Andraste was not only a mage but an abomination, likely Faith

oh, headcanon ACCEPTED

Lorraine Baines McFly and Female Autonomy

Hello. I have spent the past month slowly losing my mind about Lorraine Baines McFly, Marty's mom in Back to the Future, so I am finally trying to articulate some of the reasons I'm so feral about her.

There's a quote from Lea Thompson, the actress who played Lorraine, that goes, "The three parts that women usually get to play are virgins, whores, and mothers, and in Back to the Future Part II, I got to play all three." While this is commentary on Hollywood and the limited roles that fictional women get forced into, I think it's also interesting to think about it in terms of how these roles are reflected onto actual women and used to limit their personhood and confine them to a very narrow range of acceptable behaviors . . . and then in turn to think about how the character interacts with these roles on a Watsonian level. They're affecting not just Lorraine the character as she was written, but Lorraine from an in-universe perspective trying to navigate life as a woman in a patriarchal world. Some of the sexism she faces is a deliberate narrative choice and some of it is a result of the writers' blind spots, but for the purpose of this essay I'm less interested in teasing out which threads are which and more in looking at it holistically.

Because the thing about Lorraine is that she's aware of what the acceptable roles and behaviors for women are, and the versions that we see of her across the various timelines alternately fight against and capitulate to these constraints. What is a woman allowed to be? How much is Lorraine willing to break from those restrictions? How much does she allow other women to break from them? Does she resent her role or embrace it? I have a lot of thoughts specifically about how the different iterations of her interact with concepts of female agency and autonomy.

(Putting this under a cut because it is. Long.)

i don't really mean this as criticism but every They Might Be Giants song i've ever heard all share this same ultra particular vibe i can only describe as "this sounds like something a programmer started spontaneously singing around the house at like two in the morning because he was trying to annoy his girlfriend's cat"

I read this aloud to spouse. He said "oh I don't think that's fair."

I proceeded to demonstrate by singing the opening lines of several They Might Be Giants songs while leaning sideways in my computer desk chair and addressing an imaginary cat.

Spouse conceded the point.

Over 10 years ago I drew this mother naga with her kid and a bowl of gulab jamun, and I was blown away to see people still reblogging it and saying kind things here. I decided to draw a sequel, the PTA (People That are Anacondas) meeting is over, and she finally gets to have some gulab jamun. c: I really hope this cheers you up some.

My first reaction: she finally gets to have some!!

My second reaction: oh gosh they're holding tails in the second picture okay I need to reblog this.

tear down this fourth wall

Is this anything?

(It has been suggested that the middle of this chart should say "Schrödinger's Cat" which is, as an addition itself, simultaneously true, false, helpful and unhelpful, just as Schrödinger wouldn't have wanted, especially as it would, ironically, not be in any of the boxes.)

some wips of my newest project!

this one will have hair, maybe a cape of some sort, and possibly mechanical wings, but i'm not quite sure how i'll approach any of those things, so i'm posting her as she currently is. i've really enjoyed doing projects that involve both making the base sculpt and a fair bit of post-printing customization, and painting & adding details to this doll was mega fun to spend my weekend on. the sculpt itself just kind of happened; couldn't exactly tell you why she is a steampunk violin demon girl, except that it was what i found fun in the moment.

Crossposted from BlueSky!