Since the OP made their post unrebloggable (and blocked me. Both actions they are well in with their right to do)

I'm going to make my response it's own post because I think the point is important

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As someone who is autistic and has BPD and CPTSD and loads of trauma yes you sometimes need to change how you interact with others to keep people around

When I was 13 I hit the few friends I had when I was angry

I had to change that in order to keep those friendships

When I was in my early 20s if I was losing an disagreement with my husband I would threaten to kill myself. My husband told me it hurt him and was cruel and manipulative behaviour, because it was.

So I worked hard to change that to keep my relationship

It's easy to say "I shouldn't have to change for others" and that's true to an extent. You shouldn't change your interests or passions or dim your light. And you should have space to be imperfect and flawed and not have to pretend your ugly bits aren't real. But if something you are doing it causing other people harm you kinda need to change that.

That's called "living in a society"

People adapt to each other and make space for each other in their lives. You adapt to them and they adapt to you

You start being more diligent about throwing away the empty toilet roll because it really bothers them. They start warning you before they run the blender because you hate loud noises

I stopped threatening to kill myself because I was mad I was losing an argument and my husband stopped being so vocally judgemental amount media he personally dislikes

There is a certain type of person who heard the phrase "your emotions are valid" and took that to mean "my emotional reactions and my behaviour are always objectively correct because my emotions are valid and if you have an emotional response or react to what I'm doing negatively then you are wrong and you can't be hurt because my emotions are valid"

And that's a recipe for disaster

Your emotions are valid to feel. They are how you feel and there are reasons you feel the way you do

However, your reactions and behaviour are something you can learn to control and can be irrational

We live in a society and we as people change each other as we interact and that isn't necessarily a bad thing

[ID: Response to the question "What is the name of your character/historical figure?" that says, "my OC Thargaret Matcher". End ID]

I don't know what I expected

y’all be like “wlw” and it be white loving white.

all my taters become haters when i cast Evil Potato Sentience

I am sure it works for some, but the “you are not a burden” posts don’t help me. What helps me is remember that I am allowed to be a burden.

I put work into being there for loved ones, and I even inconvenience myself for strangers sometimes. I am also allowed to take up that space!

Loving someone often consists of work. But what we need to remember is we’re worth the work and effort! We deserve the work and effort.

Change a single letter and change the word game

I want to play a game with you all.

You have to make a new word by changing only one letter of the last word.

Dirt

Dart

Dark

bark

Lark

Lurk

Lure

Sure

Surf

Serf

Self

Seld

Meld

Mold

Mole

Hole

Bole

Bolt

Boat

Boar

Soar

Soap

Soup

Soul

Sour

Soul

Foul

Four

Hour

Pour

Pout

Lout

Loud

Lord

You are valid if you became hypersexual, sex repulsed, both or even go back and forth as a result of your trauma.

What I was taught growing up: Wild edible plants and animals were just so naturally abundant that the indigenous people of my area, namely western Washington state, didn't have to develop agriculture and could just easily forage/hunt for all their needs.

The first pebble in what would become a landslide: Native peoples practiced intentional fire, which kept the trees from growing over the camas praire.

The next: PNW native peoples intentionally planted and cultivated forest gardens, and we can still see the increase in biodiversity where these gardens were today.

The next: We have an oak prairie savanna ecosystem that was intentionally maintained via intentional fire (which they were banned from doing for like, 100 years and we're just now starting to do again), and this ecosystem is disappearing as Douglas firs spread, invasive species take over, and land is turned into European-style agricultural systems.

The Land Slide: Actually, the native peoples had a complex agricultural and food processing system that allowed them to meet all their needs throughout the year, including storing food for the long, wet, dark winter. They collected a wide variety of plant foods (along with the salmon, deer, and other animals they hunted), from seaweeds to roots to berries, and they also managed these food systems via not only burning, but pruning, weeding, planting, digging/tilling, selectively harvesting root crops so that smaller ones were left behind to grow and the biggest were left to reseed, and careful harvesting at particular times for each species that both ensured their perennial (!) crops would continue thriving and that harvest occurred at the best time for the best quality food. American settlers were willfully ignorant of the complex agricultural system, because being thus allowed them to claim the land wasn't being used. Native peoples were actively managing the ecosystem to produce their food, in a sustainable manner that increased biodiversity, thus benefiting not only themselves but other species as well.

So that's cool. If you want to read more, I suggest "Ancient Pathways, Ancestral Knowledge: Ethnobotany and Ecological Wisdom of Indigenous Peoples of Northwestern North America" by Nancy J. Turner

And then I think about:

How we hunted the beavers to near extinction, and a beaver pond increases the soil moisture level, creates/expands wetlands, etc.

How we banned intentional fires, and now are dealing with bigger, hotter, more dangerous fires. And that one of the tools in invasive species management is intentional fires.

How we have all these invasive plant species invading everywhere, and if people were still allowed/encouraged to "forage" like they did pre-colonialization, that would include removing those invasive species. And people would have eyes everywhere, so the populations of invasive species would not have had the chance to get established.

The land needs people. Leaving it "wild" and "untouched" is actually neglect.

go a little further

"invasive" species are not an objective category. which species we call invasive, vs merely introduced, is a matter of politics as much as science. settler governments name species as invasive when they pose a threat to ecological and economic interests... but one must always ask: whose? some disrupt native habitats, or threaten biodiversity on a massive scale; others are merely a threat to bottom lines of corporate forestry and agribusiness. some can be managed or their impacts reduced; some already coexist comfortably; and others are beyond all possibility of control, meaning people have to find a way to live with them instead.

recognizing that this continent was never pristine, natural wilderness untouched by human hand carries deeper implications: these ecosystems and relationships aren't the result of some natural harmony that developed over millions of years; they're continually being negotiated and renegotiated, in historic timeframes as well as individual lifetimes.

TWO HOURS AGO: an incredible photo taken by a ut austin student capturing something deeply poetic in my opinion, a line of state troopers eagerly waiting to arrest student protesters standing just behind a sign that reads "what starts here changes the world. its starts with you and what you do each day."

Hundreds of Jewish anti-war demonstrators have been arrested during a Passover seder that doubled as a protest in New York, as they shut down a major thoroughfare to pray for a ceasefire and urge the Senate majority leader, Chuck Schumer, to end US military aid to Israel.

The 300 or so arrests took place on Tuesday night at Grand Army Plaza, on the doorstep of Schumer’s Brooklyn residence, where thousands of mostly Jewish New Yorkers gathered for the seder, a ritual that marked the second night of the holiday celebrated as a festival of freedom by Jews worldwide.

The seder came just before the US Senate resoundingly passed a military package that includes $26bn for Israel.

[ID: a quote tweet by Sarah Friedland (@motionxpictures) that says “We spent 4+ hours waiting cuffed in the bus blocking grand army traffic because none of the dozens of cops knew how to drive it! Solidarity w/ the bus drivers! ✊🏻 [white raised fist emoji].” The quoted tweet is by Jewish Voice for Peace NYC (@jvpliveNY) that says, “Bus drivers refused to transport protestors from last night's Seder in the Streets to the precinct, forcing cops to drive the busses. Power and solidarity to the union bus drivers with @twu100 who refuse to collaborate with the NYPD, which commandeers MTA busses for mass arrests.” It has a picture of someone wearing a keffiyeh, a “Jews say ceasefire now” shirt, and handcuffs from the back with a cop on their left and a bus on their right.]

i’ve never seen a full episode of bbc sherlock. all of my knowledge comes from 1) Sherlock Is Garbage And Here’s Why, 2) pop culture osmosis, and 3) impassioned descriptions by my beloved partner who did watch the entire show. this is enough familiarity to create a sort of perverse fascination with the particular cocktail of queerbait and homophobia on display

sherlock has to beleaguer his lack of interest in romance, sex, and marriage to everyone he meets, including his supposed “closest friend” john watson. over and over it comes up, and his thoughts on the topic never change. if anything, he seems to get more anti-romance and anti-sex as other characters continue to pester him about it (relatable). i’m sure the writers made that choice because something something “he’s too cool and rude for a girlfriend,” but it’s still pretty explicit aro/ace coding, especially for the 2010s

but then the other shoe drops. despite the choice to write sherlock as being utterly and actively disinterested in romance and sex throughout the show, the writers also made the interesting choice to bait the fuck out of his relationships with john watson, jim moriarty, and irene adler. as early as the first 15 minutes of the very first episode the writers are making jokes about john and sherlock being a couple, and moriarty is..... Like That. adler is explicitly attracted to him, at least sexually if not romantically, and seemingly only shows up to make passes at him. then again, she is also Like That. there’s this bizarre meta-unrealness to all of these characters’ scenes with sherlock, as if the characters are somehow aware of the unhinged puppet show they’re trapped in and desperately want to escape it

and then there’s me, the uninvested observer peeking in through the windows, left wondering... why? why write a character so thoroughly uninterested in romance and sex, only to relationship-bait him with every other major character? why relationship-bait the one character you’ve gone out of your way to establish doesn’t want one? was all the relationship-bait meant to “fix” our staunchly anti-romance, anti-sex character? if so, why put that plotline in a show so utterly devoid of character development? these questions fascinate and madden me in part because I know I will have no answers, and so no peace. 2010s queerphobia was a different breed

What about molly?

personally i think you should be able to afford a place to live with a part-time job

something i think a lot of able bodied people dont understand is that being chronically ill affects your emotions. constantly being exhausted and feeling bad is going to make you sad or depressed or angry or jealous. constantly being in pain is going to affect your mental health. never feeling "good" is obviously going to affect the way you act.

23 April 2024 - 15 Nisan 5784

Yes, today is the first day of Passover!

Passover is the week-long festival which celebrates the Exodus of the Israelites from slavery in Egypt. Some will have a second Seder tonight.

Throughout the days of Passover, many Jews will abstain from eating “chametz,” defined as any food containing wheat, oats, rye, barley, or spelt, save for the unleavened matzos bread. Some also refrain from eating “Kitniyot,” including corn, rice, and beans.

Additionally, the Counting of the Omer begins tonight at nightfall.

The Counting of the Omer is a verbal count with a blessing of each of the seven weeks (49 days) between Passover and Shavuot. The purpose of this is to stand in anticipation of the Torah.

Tonight: Count 1

I’ve always known that to most people Arab lives are not worth mentioning, let alone caring for. But seeing it proved in my lifetime through a literal genocide is actually making me short-circuit. I can’t believe this is happening I can’t believe most aid orgs are withdrawing from Palestine I can’t believe nothing is being done

“it’s just Hamas” fuck you “this is pointless online advocacy” fuck you “Arabs had it coming because they’re misogynistic/barbarian” fuck you “blame this on Hamas” fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you. I am so angry I can’t even find the words. I have never known a moment in my lifetime where I wasn’t of the understanding that being occupied is a given with being Iraqi—and now, I’m realizing through all this, with being Arab. You’re pissed off when we speak up about this because you want Arab people to just accept that this will forever be their fate and the fate of their homelands. Fuck you from the bottom of my heart. You are cold and you are soulless and you are complicit in every death that has happened and will happen.

People act like Arabs aren’t already dehumanized enough as it is. Now they have to drive a point that’s already forced on us over and over by expecting us to just sit back and be okay with genocide. I’ve never wished someone ill will in my life, but people like this are the exception. You are literally subhuman to me. I wish you nothing but endless pain and suffering, and I have never meant that more in my life.

cigarettes are so important to gay sex i wish they weren’t evil

See what your followers think of you.

BLACK = I would date you.

GREEN = I think you’re cute.

BLUE = You are my tumblr crush.

GREY = I wish you would notice me.

PURPLE = I don’t talk to you but I really love your blog.

TEAL = We have a lot in common.

YELLOW = I don’t know you at all.

ORANGE = I don’t like your blog.

BROWN = I don’t like you.

PINK = I think you are unattractive.

RED = I hate you with a burning passion.

WHITE = You scare me.

RAINBOW = BED PLZ.

SCARLET = You have influenced my decision/thoughts on something.

MAROON = You taught me something new.

CINNAMON = You’re a really cool person and admire you from afar.

PERIWINKLE = You make me laugh

MAUVE = You are really talented

BLUSH = Seeing you on my dash makes my day a little better.

CYAN = We have very little in common

THISTLE = I only just started following you

INDIGO = I’ve been following you for a long time

FUCHSIA = Your blog content is gold

COPPER = Your blog content is trash (and I love it)

VERMILION = You make me feel passionate

HONEYDEW = I want to call you by a nickname

LAVENDER = You inspire me

CORAL = You’re a meme

UMBER = I want to know more about you

FORGET-ME-NOT = You remind me of somebody

RAZZMATAZZ = I would share my favorite food with you

ARSENIC = I don’t know how to describe the way I feel about you

WINE = You make me feel kinda funny, like when we used to climb the rope in gym class

SAFFRON = I love your ideas

TIMBERWOLF = I trust you

FALLOW = I want to run through the Northern wilderness barefoot with you

PLUM = I’d like to chat with you

TANGERINE = I love your aesthetic

SAGE = You make me cry

CRIMSON = We should collaborate on something!

VIRIDIAN = I wanna hang out on your blog

CHARTREUSE = You’re my homie

BURGUNDY = I get excited when I see posts from you