oh wow, thanks homer!! i wondered when his next book was going to come out

after i move i really wanna get a used roomba

be sure to pee after sex so you don’t get an hdmi

if you pull the bag out of a cereal box you’re fucked. you’re so absolutely fucked. it’s never gonna go back in there the same way again, the box was protecting you and you disrespected it and you will get what you deserve 

Happy pride month to the tiny cowboy and tiny Trojan man from Night at the Museum

LMAO THO Germany not getting any public points, the uk being dead last and Greece and cyprus giving each other 12 points is peak Eurovision

Europe really went out and said

Iceland, I have so much respect for you

you’re the real winners

FUCK YES ICELAND

Anti-capitalism, trans flags in the green room, jumped into the top 5 with the public vote and fucking held up Palestine banners .

i don’t care what anyone says, after iceland pulled out the palestine banners in tel aviv during a live show they won the whole competition forever they’re eternal eurovision winners thank you for playing bye

legends never die

THEY SAW THE OPPORTUNITY AND THEY TOOK IT !!!

lego castle dragon

god i miss you so fucking much

Cry me a fucking river

yeast, unaware it’s being used to make bread: “oh fuck yes sugar and water”

old people on facebook posts should be in the moma

oh,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,my god