Mark the electrician has been here for five minutes and he’s already said “well that’s…weird” twice from the other room and frankly I’m afraid to ask.

It’s not good when skilled tradesman are standing in the middle of your room pinching the bridge if their nose, is it?

Mark just referred to the wiring in our bedroom as “creative” and “interesting”.

This is fine.

And now he’s taking apart the ceiling. I’m not worried, are any of you worried? I’m not, haha, it’s not like this house was previously owned by someone who would do something stupid like try to wire their house themselves…or store tins of varnish under the furnace behind a secret alcove…

Ha ha…

Ha.

Hm.

Fuck.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE’S NO NEUTRAL WIRES??!?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S GROUNDED INTO THE SCREWS HOLDING UP THE CEILING LIGHT???!?!!

This post crosses my dashboard every so often and every time, I’m reminded of when I discovered that my whole house was grounded to a gas line.

Good times.

What is this

it’s a comic based on a scene from a book called “the hogfather” it is a novel by terry pratchet in the diskworld series wherein santa (the hogfather) is being audited,  so to keep people believing in irrational but symbolic constructs death takes over for him and isn’t very good at it, but he does his best.

This is exactly my sense of humor and exactly why I love Terry Pratchet.

my childhood in a post tbh

omg??????

SIS OMGGG

like I go on social media platforms sometimes, and I’ll put up with anything. i’ll log on to some garbage website, i don’t wanna name an actual website so let’s just make one up. let’s call it “tumblr”. so i’ll log onto tumblr and i’ll go, “can you ban all the porn bots?” and they go, “no, we’re not gonna do anything about it” and I go, “okaaay!” and then I go watch something on netflix. and then i come back to tumblr and I go, “any updates?” and they go “yeah, we flagged a bunch of posts incorrectly and deleted blogs that had nothing to do with the porn bots. because we hate you. now take this pointless april fool’s gag that doesn’t matter, go fetch!” and I go “okaaay!” and I @ staff and go, “can I have my blog back please?“ and they go “NO!” and I go “okaaay!” and they go, “you’re a little naive user, aren’t you?” and I go “nooo,” and they go “SAY IT!” and I go “i’m a little naive user.“ and then I go over to the tumblr support link (which is an oxymoron) and I go, “can this please be a functioning website?” and they go “no! in fact, we’re gonna ban all nudity on this site indiscriminately! and we’re going to keep incorrectly flagging sfw posts with our shitty algorithm! and we’re not gonna do anything about the white nationalists!” and I go “why are you doing this to me?!” and they go, “because we’re tumblr staff, and life is a fucking nightmare!”

Can someone just………………. explain French to me?

its spanish but you speak it in cursive

but sir that’s my emotional support strap on

I taught him this maneuver in a lost city high up in the mountain tops of the Himalayas

Liquid J is now a genderfluid deity that can manifest any form to influence the mortals they want to help.

what drugs were they on when they made this

Cab Calloway rotascoped!

Whoever thought of this was drinking absinthe

Thanks, Now I have nightmares

After December 17

is being into coffee an older sibling thing bc everyone i know who loves coffee is the oldest child

like every oldest child ik loves coffee, the middle child hates it/prefers tea, and the youngest will drink it but only if its super sweet n has a ton of milk

rb w/ if ur oldest, middle, or youngest child and how u feel about coffee

I changed my mind, TikTok is Vine 2, which is amazing.

u can tell who the ancients of tumblr are bc they’re the ones not posting anything abt where to find them if this site collapses…we know this site isnt going anywhere….the apocalypse couldnt stop this garbage…..it has the cybernetic code of a cockroach

those of us who’ve been on tumblr 5+ years: 

Hi everybody.

Quick update on the status of WarriorMale.

Right now I’m attempting to back up this enormous blog.

I would hate to see it deleted after 4 years and 60,000 posts.

I feel like I’m on the Titanic and we just hit the iceberg. Instead of going down with the ship I’m trying to save WarriorMale.

I’ll let all of you know if he made it into the lifeboat!

WarriorMale