learning to live

1. drink some cold water
2. wash your hands and face with cool water
3. make some tea
4. get a blanket and snuggle it around you
5. snuggle an animal/stuffed animal
6. buy your favorite candy from the gas station
7. close your eyes and listen to your fav song on repeat for 10 mins
8. put on some throwback jams (high school musical, mamma mia, 90s, u do u) and dance around ur room in ur undies 
9. make a calming playlist
10. call a friend/relative just to say hi and hear someone else’s voice
11. rewatch cute/funny/happy clips from ur fav tv show/band/movie on youtube
12. put on a skirt and twirl (yes boys/agenders/trans u can do this too)
13. scribble really hard with black pen on a blank page and scream
14. look at the sky/moon/sunset/sunrise/stars
15. write
16. watch kitten/puppy/small animal live streams on youtube
17. go outside, even if its just by ur front door, and take some deep breaths
18. eat something - fruit, veggies are best
19. change ur contacts/clean ur glasses if you wear those
20. change your underwear
21. if u can’t get urself to shower, wash off w a damp washcloth/baby wipe
22. put on a cute/comfy outfit that makes you feel good about urself
23. dont put eye makeup on so you can rub your eyes & they wont feel heavy
24. stretch, do some yoga or meditate
25. get a breathing/meditation app and use it (headspace is gr8)
26. take a nap
27. go to bed before 11 pm
28. brush your teeth
29. turn off bright harsh lights and use smaller, warmer lamps
30. unplug. give your eyes/brain a break from screens for a half hour
31. get one of those pet/family apps/games and care for someone else for a change
32. find cool people on tumblr and send them anonymous compliments (that you actually think are true - spread love)
33. find a quote, write it/print it nicely and stick it on ur wall
34. watch a new movie
35. boil some cinnamon sticks/vanilla bean for 5 mins so ur house smells pretty. if in ur room, use essential oil drops or candles
36. make your bed
37. vacuum 
38. wipe down ur desk w some disinfectant
39. clean something - a backpack, small area, fluff ur pillow, put away one shirt
40. do your makeup all pretty and nice just because/dress up just because
41. research into your dream job/vacation/city/whatever
42. open up pages/canva/photshop/etc and make something just for fun
43. build a fort and crawl under it
44. find an easy diy and do it/ be proud of ur creative genius
45. make a list of things that make you happy. stick it somewhere you’ll see it all the time
46. print a picture of someone/thing that’s pissing u off and throw things at it (tape it to a dart board if u have one)
47. reread a book that makes you happy
48. clip your nails, clean the dirt from under them
49. send some good old fashioned snail mail to someone u like just for fun
50. take some selfies if you’re feelin it (see #40)
51. fuzzy socks. enough said. 
52. make yourself a fancy meal/cocktail/coffee/tea latte/drink/whatevs
53. open ur window or put on a fan/air purifier. get some air circulating
54. draw, even if u think u suck. 
55. reach out to kids help phone (canada) or a suicide hotline if you need to talk to someone about more serious matters. you deserve help and care and support. (message me if you need resources)
56. donate to a local animal shelter (if u have the means obviously)
57. go for a walk/run/bike ride
58. put on a face mask
59. take a bubble path
60. shave ur legs and moisturize
61. moisturize 
62. bake some cookies
63. go on spotify/youtube and find some new music you love
64. make a really fun upbeat playlist for next time u get the aux cord
65. scroll through some wholesome or funny meme accounts. whatever you’re in the mood for. 
66. take some cool pictures of whatever you want
67. change up your room in any small ( or big) way that you can
68. teach urself a new skill on youtube (simple like a hair style, or complicated like an instrument, whatever u want)
69. sign up to volunteer at a library/homeless shelter/soup kitchen/retirement home/daycare center/etc. help those who need it. be giving. 
70. put on sad music and cry. let ur mascara run. be dramatic. let it out.
71. put rock music on and stomp and scream throw (soft) things. let it out. 
72. teach urself the words to a fast rap song thats cool right now so you can impress ur friends/classmates/family
73. print off some kid colouring pages and dont stay inside the lines
74. brush your hair, take it out of a ponytail if its been like that for a while, or put it up if its down and in ur way
75. diy a hair mask (coconut oil) and do that
76. exfoliate ur whole body and feel like a whole new person
77. clear out ur phone/laptop. delete old messages, numbers of people u dont like/hang out with, get rid of photos of shitty friends, apps u dont use, etc
78. find cards against humanity online (or if u have it use the cards) and play with urself - make funny matches just because
79. empty a drawer (or multiple) and fold ur stuff neatly
80. do something that will make u sweat (gym, dance, clean) then take a nice shower
81. take a second to listen to ur body. unclench muscles that are clenched, fix ur poster, massage/stretch tight areas
82. move to a different area of the house for a little while. clear ur head. 
83. go out, anywhere. window shop, go to a coffee shop/library and work. people watch if ur broke. 
84. update your planner
85. make Pinterest board/real life vision of things that make you happy for when in this situation again
86. find a youtuber you like and watch their videos
87. lie on the floor, listen to music and do nothing for a while
88. give yourself a pep talk in the mirror and then stand like superman for a few mins. sounds silly but it works. its called powerposing. look it up. 
89. repeating this bc important: hydrate!!!
90. start a new tv show
91. order something online so u have something to look forward to
92. go sit with a family member and keep them company. u dont have to talk to them. 
93. the app ‘trump dump’ will make u feel better about the current us political situation
94. read happy news: find stories of students doing something cool, women kicking ass, men being amazing, whatever. bonus points if this inspires u
95. sort your garbage from recycling and help the environment
96. smile at people you see just because. smiling is good and nice. 
97. look at old pictures of u and ur fav people
98. go through old yearbooks and take a second to appreciate how far you’ve come
99. go to a park and watch kids play. remember what it’s like to be young. realize you are still young. go on the swings and go as high as u can
100. play in a sandbox just because u still can

“28/October/2013I texted you, bright, bubbly and hopeful; another idea for a date being typed into messenger. I was met with excuses followed by, “I need to tell you something.” My stomach churned and I think we both knew that I was crying, even though I insisted that I understood. 28/November/2013I kissed a guy in front of you last week to try and make you jealous. I saw your face as he leaned in to kiss my lips and I knew you didn’t care. 28/December/2013You texted me for the first time in two months yesterday. You were drunk, just like you were on the night it all happened. You apologised, but I was stubborn and wouldn’t forgive you. 28/January/2014You accidentally touched my hand as you passed my copy book to me in science today. I wish my heart hadn’t skipped a beat. 28/February/2014I went on a date with another guy. I only yearned for your lips at the end of the night. 28/March/2014I’ve been going out a lot more with my friends. There’s more to life than waiting for you. 28/April/2014You say you miss me and you want me back. My best friend warns me away. But how can I say no to those amber eyes? 28/May/2014I kissed your lips again for the final time. There was no feeling or emotion, yet I still cried when I saw your arm snaked around 5'2" of dark curly hair and an infectious laugh. 28/June/2014I met someone else. His lips are softer than yours ever were. He made me laugh more in one day than you made me laugh in seven months. I felt safe as we lay side by side under the merciless sun. His arms feel like home. 28/July/2014I had forgotten how much I love to dance and sing and run. I am becoming me again. 28/August/2014Oh god, oh god, oh god. I’m in love with the boy with the soft lips. I hope you’re well. You don’t have to pretend you’re not in love with her and the way you can so easily wrap her curls around your fingers. It’s okay now. 28/September/2014You’re in my science class again this year. Seeing you again every day has once again become as easy as reading my favourite book. 28/October/2014It’s a year today and I’m sat in a coffee shop with the boy with the soft lips. Never before have I felt so loved, needed, wanted. Better things are coming. I hope you treat her well.”