it’s been so long since i’ve been on here and honestly i didn’t ever think i was gonna come back. i don’t know if the people i met or the friends i made on here are still here but if u guys are still here then i just wanna give everyone a big hug.
nothing feels the same anymore. it feels as if my whole world has been snatched away from me and there’s such a big gap in me that’s sadly never gonna be filled. i feel so empty and numb and regardless of having gone thru something similar before it still hurts so much.. it’s so painful. i end up crying whenever i see him but at the same time i end up going to search for him on my own bc i’m still not ready to let go of him yet and i’m scared that if i don’t end up seeking him then he’ll just be a memory somewhere along the line and i don’t want him to be that, just a memory. i’m so scared of losing him and him just disappearing slowly and the world moving forward as the days goes on as if nothing happened. as if he didn’t even exist in the first place.. i know the pain is gonna lessen as the years goes on but i don’t think i’ll ever be ready to say bye to him fully.. like i’m still feeling so numb i don’t think i even wanna fully accept that he’s just not here anymore.
my heart truly goes out to anyone who knew him and to everyone who loved him. he truly was such a wonderful person. someone who gave many warmth and im gonna miss that smile of his so badly. the smile that cheered so many of us. gonna miss his goofy sides too :’) i just miss him so much..
and like i said before idk how many of u guys are still here, especially the 2017 tumblr aroha moots, but if u are here pls don’t hesitate to reach out to me 🤍 i guess grieving together is gonna be a little bit bearable than grieving alone so yeah feel free to come talk to me tho i’m not sure if i’ll be able to respond immediately cause everything sucks and hurts so bad haha but i’m trying my best and i hope u guys will also try ur best and try to take care of urselves 🫂 sending hugs and love to all of u
