sister michael is a fucking mood

the 99 squad meets: Anna Kendrick’s twitter

I found this Youtube channel run by a Japanese chef and it’s actually better than porn? First all all his cinematography is off the charts. Youtube videos have no business looking that good. Second of all, everything he makes looks SO TASTY, and he explains the recipes in such a simple, soothing, manner. Third off all, he does this all while his two adorable kitties watch??? Like… they are so intent on what hes doing but they never run around or hop on the counter???? He has a stool for them to sit on as he makes his recipes Im gunna die

Look at this and tell me it isnt the best thing on youtube

he and his (American) wife have a youtube vlogging channel all about being an international couple and they have thREE CATS THAT HE COOKS WITH

You should see the video where he restores a knife…

Incorrect, he has two cats he cooks with, Haku and Nagi. If Poki were permitted into the kitchen when Jun cooked, he would immediately throw himself into the pan, determined to eat whatever was in it.

Poki is my favorite cat. uwu

poki sounds like my cat jasper

This is a video about how people used to walk in the middle ages, and how it changed around the 1500s when people started wearing a different kind of shoes.

This reminds me of something interesting I read in Bee Wilson’s Consider the Fork:

“Much of the science of modern orthodontics is devoted to creating - through rubber bands, wires, and braces - the perfect “overbite.” An overbite refers to the way our top layer of incisors hang over the bottom layer, like a lid on a box. This is the ideal human occlusion. The opposite of an overbite is an “edge-to-edge” bite seen in primates such as chimpanzees, where the top incisors clash against the bottom ones, like a guillotine blade.

What the orthodontists don’t tell you is that the overbite is a very recent aspect of human anatomy and probably results from the way we use our table knives. Based on surviving skeletons, this has only been a “normal” alignment of the human jaw for 200 to 250 years in the Western world. Before that, most human beings had an edge-to-edge bite, comparable to apes. The overbite is not a product of evolution - the time frame is far too short. Rather, it seems likely to be a response to the way we cut our food during our formative years. The person who worked this out is Professor Charles Loring Brace (born 1930), a remarkable American anthropologist whose main intellectual passion was Neanderthal man. Over decades, Brace built up the world’s largest database on the evolution of hominid teeth. He possibly held more ancient human jaws in his hand than anyone else in the twentieth century.

As early as the 1960s, Brace had been aware that the overbite needed explaining. Initially, he assumed that it went back to the “adoption of agriculture six or seven thousand years ago.” … But as his tooth database grew, Brace found that the edge-to-edge bite persisted much longer than anyone had previously assumed. In Western Europe, Brace found, the change to the overbite occurred only in the late eighteenth century, starting with “high status individuals.”

Why? There was no drastic alteration to the nutritional components of a high-status diet at this time. … What changed most substantially by the late eighteenth century was not what was eaten but how it was eaten. This marked the time when it became normal in upper- and middle-class circles to eat with a table knife and fork, cutting food into little pieces before it was eaten….

In premodern times, Brace surmises that the main method of eating would have been something he christened “stuff-and-cut.” As the name suggests, it is not the most elegant way to dine. It goes something like this. First, grasp the food in one of your hands. Then clamp the end of it forcefully between your teeth. Finally, separate the main hunk of food from the piece in your mouth, either with a decisive tug of your hand or by using a cutting implement if you have one at hand, in which case you must be careful not to slice your own lips. This was how our ancestors, armed only with a sharpened flint, or, later, a knife, dealt with chewy food, especially meat. The “stuff-and-cut” school of etiquette continued long after ancient times. Knives changed - from iron to steel, from wood-handled to porcelain-handled - but the method remained.

The growing adoption of knife-and-fork eating in the late eighteenth century marked the demise of “stuff-and-cut” in the West. … From medieval to modern times, the fork went from being a weird thing, a pretentious object of ridicule, to being an indispensable part of civilized dining. Instead of stuffing and cutting, people now ate food by pinning it down with the fork and sawing off little pieces with the table knife, popping pieces into the mouth so small that they hardly needed chewing. As knives became blunter, so the morsels generally needed to be softer, reducing the need to chew still further.

Brace’s data suggest that this revolution in table manners had an immediate impact on teeth. He has argued that the incisors - from the Latin incidere, “to cut” - are misnamed. Their real purpose is not to cut but to clamp food in the mouth - as in the “stuff-and-cut” method of eating. “It is my suspicion,” he wrote, “that if the incisors are used in such a manner several times a day from the time that they first begin to erupt, they will become positioned so that they normally occlude edge to edge.” Once people start cutting their food up very small using a knife and fork, and popping the morsels into their mouths, the clamping function of the incisors ceases, and the incisors continue to erupt until the top layer no longer meets the bottom layer: creating an overbite.

We generally think that our bodies are fundamental and unchanging, whereas such things as table manners are superficial: we might change our manners from time to time, but we can’t be changed by them. Brace turned this on its head. Our supposedly normal and natural overbite - this seemingly basic aspect of modern human anatomy - is actually a product of how we behave at the table.

How can we be sure, as Brace is, that it was the cutlery that brought about this change in our teeth? The short answer is that we can’t. Brace’s discovery raises as many questions as it answers. Modes of eating were far more varied than his theory makes room for. Stuff-and-cut was not the only way people ate in preindustrial Europe, and not all food required the incisor’s clamp; people also supped on soups and potages, nibbled on crumbly pies, spooned up porridge and polenta. Why did these soft foods not change our bite much sooner? Brace’s love of Neanderthals may have blinded him to the extent to which table manners, even before the knife and fork, frowned upon gluttonous stuffing. Posidonius, a Greek historian (born c. 135 BC) complained that the Celts were so rude, they “clutch whole joints and bite,” suggesting that polite Greeks did not. Moreover, just because the overbite occurs at the same time as the knife and fork does not mean that one was caused by the other. Correlation is not cause.

Yet Brace’s hypothesis does seem the best fit with the available data. When he wrote his original 1977 article on the overbite, Brace himself was forced to admit that the evidence he had so far marshaled was “unsystematic and anecdotal.” He would spend the next three decades hunting out more samples to improve the evidence base.

For years, Brace was tantalized by the thought that if his thesis was correct, Americans should have retained the edge-to-edge bite for longer than Europeans, because it took several decades longer for knife-and-fork eating to become accepted in America. After years of fruitless searching for dental samples, Brace managed to excavate an unmarked nineteenth-century cemetery in Rochester, New York, housing bodies from the insane asylum, workhouse, and prison. To Brace’s great satisfaction, he found that out of fifteen bodies whose teeth and jaws were intact, ten - two-thirds of the sample - had an edge-to-edge bite.

What about China? “Stuff-and-cut” is entirely alien to the Chinese way of eating… The highly chopped style of Chinese food and the corresponding use of chopsticks had become commonplace around nine hundred years before the fork and knife were in normal use in Europe, by the time of the Song dynasty (960-1279 AD), starting with the aristocracy and gradually spreading to the rest of the population. If Brace was correct, then the combination of tou and chopsticks should have left its mark on Chinese teeth much earlier than the European table knife.

The supporting evidence took a while to show up. On his eternal quest for more samples of teeth, Brace found himself in the Shanghai Natural History Museum. There, he saw the pickled remains a graduate student from the Song dynasty era, exactly the time when chopsticks became the normal method of transporting food from plate to mouth.

The fellow was an aristocratic young man, an official, who died, as the label explained, around the time he would have sat for the imperial examinations. Well, there he was, in a vat floating in a pickling fluid with his mouth wide open and looking positively revolting. But there it was: the deep overbite of the modern Chinese!

Over subsequent years, Brace has analyzed many Chinese teeth and found that - with the exception of peasants, who retain an edge-to-edge bite well into the twentieth century - the overbite does indeed emerge 800-1000 years sooner in China than in Europe. The differing attitude to knives in East and West had a graphic impact on the alignment of our jaws.”

It’s a rather interesting book. It’s got other interesting stuff in it, e.g. about knife culture in Medieval Europe:

“In medieval and Renaissance Europe, you carried your own knife everywhere with you and brought it out at mealtimes when you needed to. Almost everyone had a personal eating knife in a sheath dangling from a belt. The knife at a man’s girdle could equally well be used for chopping food or defending himself against enemies. Your knife was as much a garment - like a wristwatch now - as a tool. A knife was a universal possession, often your most treasured one. Like a wizard’s wand in Harry Potter, the knife was tailored to its owner. Knife handles were made of brass, ivory, rock crystal, glass, and shell; of amber, agate, mother of pearl, or tortoiseshell. They might be carved or engraved with images of babies, apostles, flowers, peasants, feathers, or doves. You would no more eat with another person’s knife than you would brush your teeth today with a stranger’s toothbrush. You wore your knife so habitually that - as with a watch - you might start to regard it as a part of yourself and forget it was there. A sixth-century text (St. Benedict’s Rule) reminded monks to detach knives from their belts before they went to bed, so they didn’t cut themselves in the night.

There was a serious danger of this because knives then, with their daggerlike shape, really were sharp. They needed to be, because they might be called upon to tackle everything from rubbery cheese to a crusty loaf. Aside from clothes, a knife was the one possession every adult needed. It has been often assumed, wrongly, that knives, as violent objects, were exclusively masculine. But women wore them too. A painting from 1640 by H.H. Kluber depicts a rich Swiss family preparing to eat a meal of meat, bread, and apples. The daughters of the family have flowers in their hair, and dangling from their red dresses are silvery knives, attached to silken ropes tied around their waists. With a knife close to your body at all times, you would have been very familiar with its construction.

…

The habit of carrying your own sharp knife with you was as much a bedrock of Western culture as Christianity, the Latin alphabet, and the rule of law. Until, suddenly, it wasn’t.”

Also, having special knives made for silver for fish was originally a practical thing, because before stainless steel lemon would react with steel knives and make the fish taste bad.

Honestly the most profound thing in this whole video is the one line at 3:15

“Human beings have this energy-saving system: when we can be lazy, we are.”

Honestly I think that’s a great way to think about laziness? I mean yes sometimes it can cause many problems, but the insistence on thinking of it as a moral quality rather than a natural, physical, HUMAN quality just brings in a load of unecessary guilt and shame that’s frankly twice as exhausting.

Parks and Recreation Moodboards

We forgot Jerry. 

as we all know, the best vines are the ones with dogs. here’s a bunch of doggy vines!!!!!!

This made me v happy

Women have more power and agency in Shakespeare’s comedies than in his tragedies, and usually there are more of them with more speaking time, so I’m pretty sure what Shakespeare’s saying is “men ruin everything” because everyone fucking dies when men are in charge but when women are in charge you get married and live happily ever after

I think you’re reading too far into things, kiddo. Take a break from your women’s studies major and get some fresh air.

Right. Well, I’m a historian, so allow me to elaborate.

One of the most important aspects of the Puritan/Protestant revolution (in the 1590’s in particular) was the foregrounding of marriage as the most appropriate way of life. It often comes as a surprise when people learn this, but Puritans took an absolutely positive view of sexuality within the context of marriage. Clergy were encouraged to lead by example and marry and have children, as opposed to Catholic clergy who prized virginity above all else. Through his comedies, Shakespeare was promoting this new way of life which had never been promoted before. The dogma, thanks to the church, had always been “durr hburr women are evil sex is bad celibacy is your ticket to salvation.” All that changed in Shakespeare’s time, and thanks to him we get a view of the world where marriage, women, and sexuality are in fact the key to salvation. 

The difference between the structure of a comedy and a tragedy is that the former is cyclical, and the latter a downward curve. Comedies weren’t stupid fun about the lighter side of life. The definition of a comedy was not a funny play. They were plays that began in turmoil and ended in reconciliation and renewal. They showed the audience the path to salvation, with the comic ending of a happy marriage leaving the promise of societal regeneration intact. Meanwhile, in the tragedies, there is no such promise of regeneration or salvation. The characters destroy themselves. The world in which they live is not sustainable. It leads to a dead end, with no promise of new life.

And so, in comedies, the women are the movers and shakers. They get things done. They move the machinery of the plot along. In tragedies, though women have an important part to play, they are often morally bankrupt as compared to the women of comedies, or if they are morally sound, they are disenfranchised and ignored, and refused the chance to contribute to the society in which they live. Let’s look at some examples.

In Romeo and Juliet, the play ends in tragedy because no-one listens to Juliet. Her father and Paris both insist they know what’s right for her, and they refuse to listen to her pleas for clemency. Juliet begs them – screams, cries, manipulates, tells them outright I cannot marry, just wait a week before you make me marry Paris, just a week, please and they ignore her, and force her into increasingly desperate straits, until at last the two young lovers kill themselves. The message? This violent, hate-filled patriarchal world is unsustainable. The promise of regeneration is cut down with the deaths of these children. Compare to Othello. This is the most horrifying and intimate tragedy of all, with the climax taking place in a bedroom as a husband smothers his young wife. The tragedy here could easily have been averted if Othello had listened to Desdemona and Emilia instead of Iago. The message? This society, built on racism and misogyny and martial, masculine honour, is unsustainable, and cannot regenerate itself. The very horror of it lies in the murder of two wives. 

How about Hamlet? Ophelia is a disempowered character, but if Hamlet had listened to her, and not mistreated her, and if her father hadn’t controlled every aspect of her life, then perhaps she wouldn’t have committed suicide. The final scene of carnage is prompted by Laertes and Hamlet furiously grappling over her corpse. When Ophelia dies, any chance of reconciliation dies with her. The world collapses in on itself. This society is unsustainable. King Lear – we all know that this is prompted by Cordelia’s silence, her unwillingness to bend the knee and flatter in the face of tyranny. It is Lear’s disproportionate response to this that sets off the tragedy, and we get a play that is about entropy, aging and the destruction of the social order.  

There are exceptions to the rule. I’m sure a lot of you are crying out “but Lady Macbeth!” and it’s a good point. However, in terms of raw power, neither Lady Macbeth nor the witches are as powerful as they appear. The only power they possess is the ability to influence Macbeth; but ultimately it is Macbeth’s own ambition that prompts him to murder Duncan, and it is he who escalates the situation while Lady Macbeth suffers a breakdown. In this case you have women who are allowed to influence the play, but do so for the worse; they fail to be the good moral compasses needed. Goneril, Regan and Gertrude are similarly comparable; they possess a measure of power, but do not use it for good, and again society cannot renew itself.

Now we come to the comedies, where women do have the most control over the plot. The most powerful example is Rosalind in As You Like It. She pulls the strings in every avenue of the plot, and it is thanks to her control that reconciliation is achieved at the end, and all end up happily married. Much Ado About Nothing pivots around a woman’s anger over the abuse of her innocent cousin. If the men were left in charge in this play, no-one would be married at the end, and it would certainly end in tragedy. But Beatrice stands up and rails against men for their cruel conduct towards women and says that famous, spine-tingling line - oh God, that I were a man! I would eat his heart in the marketplace. And Benedick, her suitor, listens to her. He realises that his misogynistic view of the world is wrong and he takes steps to change it. He challenges his male friends for their conduct, parts company with the prince, and by doing this he wins his lady’s hand. The entire happy ending is dependent on the men realising that they must trust, love and respect women. Now it is a society that is worthy of being perpetuated. Regeneration and salvation lies in equality between the sexes and the love husbands and wives cherish for each other. The Merry Wives of Windsor - here we have men learning to trust and respect their wives, Flastaff learning his lesson for trying to seduce married women, and a daughter tricking everyone so she can marry the man she truly loves. A Midsummer Night’s Dream? The turmoil begins because three men are trying to force Hermia to marry someone she does not love, and Helena has been cruelly mistreated. At the end, happiness and harmony comes when the women are allowed to marry the men of their choosing, and it is these marriages that are blessed by the fairies.

What of the romances? In The Tempest, Prospero holds the power, but it is Miranda who is the key to salvation and a happy ending. Without his daughter, it is likely Prospero would have turned into a murderous revenger. The Winter’s Tale sees Leontes destroy himself through his own jealousy. The king becomes a vicious tyrant because he is cruel to his own wife and children, and this breach of faith in suspecting his wife of adultery almost brings ruin to his entire kingdom. Only by obeying the sensible Emilia does Leontes have a chance of achieving redemption, and the pure trust and love that exists between Perdita and Florizel redeems the mistakes of the old generation and leads to a happy ending. Cymbeline? Imogen is wronged, and it is through her love and forgiveness that redemption is achieved at the end. In all of these plays, without the influence of the women there is no happy ending.

The message is clear. Without a woman’s consent and co-operation in living together and bringing up a family, there is turmoil. Equality between the sexes and trust between husbands and wives alone will bring happiness and harmony, not only to the family unit, but to society as a whole. The Taming of the Shrew rears its ugly head as a counter-example, for here a happy ending is dependent on a woman’s absolute subservience and obedience even in the face of abuse. But this is one of Shakespeare’s early plays (and a rip-off of an older comedy called The Taming of a Shrew) and it is interesting to look at how the reception of this play changed as values evolved in this society. 

As early as 1611 The Shrew was adapted by the writer John Fletcher in a play called The Woman’s Prize, or The Tamer Tamed. It is both a sequel and an imitation, and it chronicles Petruchio’s search for a second wife after his disastrous marriage with Katherine (whose taming had been temporary) ended with her death. In Fletcher’s version, the men are outfoxed by the women and Petruchio is ‘tamed’ by his new wife. It ends with a rather uplifting epilogue that claims the play aimed:

The Taming of the Shrew and The Tamer Tamed were staged back to back in 1633, and it was recorded that although Shakespeare’s Shrew was “liked”, Fletcher’s Tamer Tamed was “very well liked.” You heard it here folks; as early as 1633 audiences found Shakespeare’s message of total female submission uncomfortable, and they preferred John Fletcher’s interpretation and his message of equality between the sexes.

So yes. The message we can take away from Shakespeare is that a world in which women are powerless and cannot or do not contribute positively to society and family is unsustainable. Men, given the power and left to their own devices, will destroy themselves. But if men and women can work together and live in harmony, then the whole community has a chance at salvation, renewal and happiness.  

In the immortal words of the bard himself: fucking annihilated.

i havent seen some of these in any of the vine compilations ive watched so uhhh. here’s my own. 

European Gothic

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India Whiskey India Lima Lima Whiskey India Papa Echo Yankee Oscar Uniform Tango Hotel Echo Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo Oscar Uniform Tango Whiskey India Tango Hotel Papa Romeo Echo Charlie India Sierra India Oscar November Tango Hotel Echo Lima India Kilo Echo Sierra Oscar Foxtrot Whiskey Hotel India Charlie Hotel Hotel Alpha Sierra November Echo Victor Echo Romeo Bravo Echo Echo November Sierra Echo Echo November Bravo Echo Foxtrot Oscar Romeo Echo Oscar November Tango Hotel India Sierra Echo Alpha Romeo Tango Hotel Mike Alpha Romeo Kilo Mike Yankee Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo India November Golf Whiskey Oscar Romeo Delta Sierra. 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Alpha Sierra Whiskey Echo Sierra Papa Echo Alpha Kilo India Alpha Mike Charlie Oscar November Tango Alpha Charlie Tango India November Golf Mike Yankee Sierra Echo Charlie Romeo Echo Tango November Echo Tango Whiskey Oscar Romeo Kilo Oscar Foxtrot Sierra Papa India Echo Sierra Alpha Charlie Romeo Oscar Sierra Sierra Tango Hotel Echo Uniform Sierra Alpha Alpha November Delta Yankee Oscar Uniform Romeo India Papa India Sierra Bravo Echo India November Golf Tango Romeo Alpha Charlie Echo Delta Romeo India Golf Hotel Tango November Oscar Whiskey Sierra Oscar Yankee Oscar Uniform Bravo Echo Tango Tango Echo Romeo Papa Romeo Echo Papa Alpha Romeo Echo Foxtrot Oscar Romeo Tango Hotel Echo Sierra Tango Oscar Romeo Mike Mike Alpha Golf Golf Oscar Tango. 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India Charlie Alpha November Bravo Echo Alpha November Yankee Whiskey Hotel Echo Romeo Echo Alpha November Yankee Tango India Mike Echo Alpha November Delta India Charlie Alpha November Kilo India Lima Lima Yankee Oscar Uniform India November Oscar Victor Echo Romeo Sierra Echo Victor Echo November Hotel Uniform November Delta Romeo Echo Delta Whiskey Alpha Yankee Sierra Alpha November Delta Tango Hotel Alpha Tango Sierra Juliet Uniform Sierra Tango Whiskey India Tango Hotel Mike Yankee Bravo Alpha Romeo Echo Hotel Alpha November Delta Sierra. November Oscar Tango Oscar November Lima Yankee Alpha Mike India Echo X-ray Tango Echo November Sierra India Victor Echo Lima Yankee Tango Romeo Alpha India November Echo Delta India November Uniform November Alpha Romeo Mike Echo Delta Charlie Oscar Mike Bravo Alpha Tango Bravo Uniform Tango India Hotel Alpha Victor Echo Alpha Charlie Charlie Echo Sierra Sierra Tango Oscar Tango Hotel Echo Echo November Tango India Romeo Echo Alpha Romeo Sierra Echo November Alpha Lima Oscar Foxtrot Tango Hotel Echo Uniform November India Tango Echo Delta Sierra Tango Alpha Tango Echo Sierra Mike Alpha Romeo India November Echo Charlie Oscar Romeo Papa Sierra Alpha November Delta India Whiskey India Lima Lima Uniform Sierra Echo India Tango Tango Oscar India Tango Sierra Foxtrot Uniform Lima Lima Echo X-ray Tango Echo November Tango Tango Oscar Whiskey India Papa Echo Yankee Oscar Uniform Romeo Mike India Sierra Echo Romeo Alpha Bravo Lima Echo Alpha Sierra Sierra Oscar Foxtrot Foxtrot Tango Hotel Echo Foxtrot Alpha Charlie Echo Oscar Foxtrot Tango Hotel Echo Charlie Oscar November Tango India November Echo November Tango Yankee Oscar Uniform Lima India Tango Tango Lima Echo Sierra Hotel India Tango. India Foxtrot Oscar November Lima Yankee Yankee Oscar Uniform Charlie Oscar Uniform Lima Delta Hotel Alpha Victor Echo Kilo November Oscar Whiskey November Whiskey Hotel Alpha Tango Uniform November Hotel Oscar Lima Yankee Romeo Echo Tango Romeo India Bravo Uniform Tango India Oscar November Yankee Oscar Uniform Romeo Lima India Tango Tango Lima Echo Charlie Lima Echo Victor Echo Romeo Charlie Oscar Mike Mike Echo November Tango Whiskey Alpha Sierra Alpha Bravo Oscar Uniform Tango Tango Oscar Bravo Romeo India November Golf Delta Oscar Whiskey November Uniform Papa Oscar November Yankee Oscar Uniform Mike Alpha Yankee Bravo Echo Yankee Oscar Uniform Whiskey Oscar Uniform Lima Delta Hotel Alpha Victor Echo Hotel Echo Lima Delta Yankee Oscar Uniform Romeo Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo India November Golf Tango Oscar November Golf Uniform Echo. Bravo Uniform Tango Yankee Oscar Uniform Charlie Oscar Uniform Lima Delta November Tango Yankee Oscar Uniform Delta India Delta November Tango Alpha November Delta November Oscar Whiskey Yankee Oscar Uniform Romeo Echo Papa Alpha Yankee India November Golf Tango Hotel Echo Papa Romeo India Charlie Echo Yankee Oscar Uniform Golf Oscar Delta Delta Alpha Mike November India Delta India Oscar Tango. India Whiskey India Lima Lima Sierra Hotel India Tango Foxtrot Uniform Romeo Yankee Alpha Lima Lima Oscar Victor Echo Romeo Yankee Oscar Uniform Alpha November Delta Yankee Oscar Uniform Whiskey India Lima Lima Delta Romeo Oscar Whiskey November India November India Tango. Yankee Oscar Uniform Romeo Echo Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo India November Golf Delta Echo Alpha Delta Kilo India Delta Delta Oscar.

This mistake is now 10,000 deep. Fuck.

A masterpiece

Jesus fuck

This is horrible and I’m so disappointed. But also amused in a twisted way. 

OH my god.

My contribution to the recent passing of vine. May it rest in peace.

“GET FUCKED”

THE NINE-NINE // [ LISTEN ]

I love the dangerous woman tour

ok but who entrusted this child with alien technology

“This child” happens to be Ariana Grande have some respect

my tribute to the fall of vine, the saga continues

part 1/part 2/part 3/part 4

my tribute to the fall of vine, the sequel

part 1/part 2/part 3/part 4