Isn’t Reese witherspoon old enough to portray a presidential candidate where is Legally Blonde: Commander In Chic I’m not fucking playing around

Fleur Delacour had the most impressive performance in the First Task of the Triwizard Tournament, imo, and it is a Crime that she came in last place. Like, sure, maybe what she did took awhile and it wasn’t flashy, but imo she did by far the most impressive, difficult, and most humane piece of magic. 

Like, there’s this pissed off dragon mother, right? It’s been boxed up, taken to this strange place, then stuck in a noisy arena where its eggs are being threatened. This dragon is probably Unbelievably scared and angry. 

It can take 4-8 grown wizard working in tandem to Stun a dragon, especially a pissed off one, but Fleur “fairy princess” Delacour walks into that arena, stares down an angry apex predator, and somehow manages to single-handedly enchant it to sleep. This Common Welsh Green is surrounded by hundreds of people, needs to protect its eggs, but Fleur Delacour’s magic manages to override all of its fear and anger? That is an incredible feat of powerful and probably very complex magic. 

Like, no wonder Fleur Delacour can come off as condescending, that is mind-blowingly impressive. That is the work of 4-8 adult wizards. You cannot tell me that the watching dragon-handlers were not LOSING THEIR MINDS. 

Between sexism and Fleur being part-Veela, it is unfortunately very realistic that she faces a lot of prejudice, but come on, Professors Sprout and Hagrid and etc. must have been going wild. It’s only some very bad luck that her skirt was accidentally set on fire. She got the golden egg. There was zero damage to the dragon or to the real eggs. Even if Madame Maxime and Fleur worked together to prepare it, Fleur still had to do it, and Madame Maxime would have been so rightly furious that Fleur’s bravery and magical skill wasn’t recognized. 

Anyway, part of where I’m going with this, is that this injustice also creates some choice eldest Weasley brother reactions. Like Bill Weasley is writing his regular letters to Charlie, right? And he happens to mention, “Hey, I met this woman at work, with that guardian beast problem with that tomb I was telling you about. Do you remember the Beauxbatons Champion, Fleur Delacour?” 

And Charlie Weasley writes back like, “DO I REMEMBER FLEUR DELACOUR? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! WE HAVE A POSTER OF HER ON OUR WALL! I HAVE HER GRADUATING CHARMS THESIS ON CALMING MAGICAL CREATURES AND I WANT IT SIGNED. SHE REVOLUTIONIZED OUR DEALINGS WITH DRAGONS HERE. INJURIES ON THE RESERVE FOR DRAGONS AND HANDLERS ARE DOWN BY LIKE 75% SINCE WE BEGAN IMPLEMENTING HER SPELLWORK.” 

“Uh, alright then. Well, you can send that to me and I will ask her to sign it for you,” Bill Weasley, an extremely successful Curse-Breaker, writes back. (It isn’t that he doesn’t find Fleur Delacour accomplishments very impressive, it is just that the poster on the wall thing is a Bit Weird.) “That’s not going to be weird when I ask her out or anything. Wish me luck.” 

And Charlie writes back, “LUCK? LUCK?! WILLIAM WEASLEY, IF YOU DON’T MARRY THAT WOMAN, I’LL DISOWN YOU. TELL HER THAT IF GRINGOTTS DOESN’T APPRECIATE HER, SHE CAN COME TO ROMANIA. WE’RE BROKE, BUT I HAVE A DOZEN MUSCLED WIZARDS, WITCHES, AND OTHERS READY TO PROPOSE TO HER ON THE SPOT.” 

“I was thinking dinner first,” Bill writes back. “But I’ll let her know?” 

So, Fleur initially has to deal with a lot of crap from the Weasley Family, but at least she’s always got Charlie “Number One Fleur Delacour Fan” Weasley in her corner. You’ll catch Uncle Charlie excitedly telling the story of Fleur Delacour in the First Task to Bill’s children forever. 

(Charlie: “IF YOU DON’T MARRY HER THEN I WILL!” 

Bill: “Charlie, you’re not even into women.” 

Charlie: “WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH THE MOST IMPRESSIVE DRAGON HANDLING I’VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE?!!”)

imagine dying from the fucking plague and indirectly and postmortemly traumatizing your little brother and then watching said little brother grow up to be the biggest asshole that’s ever lived but he’s doing it in your name. pour one out for the ghost of jordie rietveld whos just chillin in the afterlife watching his edgy baby brother make The World’s Worst String of Decisions

This just KILLED ME™️

so……. neelam gill miGHT ACTUALLY GENUINELY PLAY INEJ IN THE SHOW, COULD THIS DAY GET ANY BETTER???????? AND EVERYONES BEGGING FOR BARBIE FERRERIA AS NINA AS WELL ???? EVEN NEELAM?

(for those that don’t know, neelam gill is the universal fan-cast for inej in 99% of edits, and barbie ferreira is the universal fan-cast for nina in 99% of edits. we all LOVE THEM BOTH)

yes seeing yourself represented in media is super cool but you know what’s even cooler? seeing yourself represented in politics

“ur fly is down” i say to my friend. he looks at his zipper, but i was actually referring to his pet fly. it seemed pretty upset

I’m just a medieval bitch who loves gold leaf and the lute, and that’s that.

God I love crocs and their entire family tree so much. These are animals that have remained virtually the same for millions of years-pretty much as close to “perfect” as you can get in nature-and this highly optimized body plan is just. A fat sausage with a mouth at one end and chubby baby arms.

This is what peak performance looks like.

Why the FUCK HE FLAT

It’s come to my attention that I have not yet made a post about Farmer’s Market Hot™.  

Farmer’s Market Hot is a specific kind of aesthetic that is the result of me watching Orphan’s Black and trying to describe the hotness of Cal to others.

See my point?

Farmer’s Market Hot is a wholesome kind of hot. Rugged but approachable. It’s not the kind of hot where you immediately go, “Oh my god they’re so perfect, I want to take them home and photograph them/tear their clothes off.” That’s for later.

This is the kind of hot for people who would visit the farmer’s market to buy some organic cheeses on their way to pick up their kids from their Creativity Through Music class. It’s the look that says “I’m here to support our local beekeepers.” You see them and it makes you want to settle down. You want to do your taxes with them, raise dogs together.

It’s borderline hipster without the elitism and irony, borderline country without the sound of Tim McGraw. If they’re white, racist shit like dreads automatically disqualifies them.

Guys will most likely be stubbly, or bearded, but not to the point of lumberjack. Think Chris Evans in between Marvel movies.

Pictured: a man who wants to buy artisan bread from a stall and be polite to the merchants.

Imagine a woman with a sunflower tattoo, wearing a high-low dress and clunky dependable boots, holding a dog’s leash while she waits at the knife sharpening booth. Imagine a man wearing flannel and holding a baby while talking about ethical alternatives to quinoa.

Farmer’s Market Hot™.

Add this to your vocabulary.

It’s that time of the year again, so I felt the need to bring this back.

farmer’s market hot

the quality content i am here for

I can’t not post this gif now

it’s gonna be hilarious how everyone is gonna flood to tumblr for “Mission Report: December 16th” and the we’re all immediately gonna log out for the December 17th protest

amrens-jewelry >>>>>> natalieshieldss

mutuals please signal boost :)

I heard someone swear “you mother fuck!” over the phone the other day, and all I could think of was this

when its sunday 11pm and u remember u had homework

IT’S BACK

where’s my aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe netflix series full of aesthetic cinematography, starring actual latinx actors, no whitewashing and a bomb ass soundtrack by troye sivan

me, single, dishing out relationship advice

via

thor and gamora in their weekly “villainous blue adopted sibling” support group

thor: loki keeps stabbing me :(

gamora: so stab him back???? what’s the big deal that’s his way of saying hello

loki and nebula in their weekly “heroic older sibling who’s part of a superhero squad and gets all the attention” support group

loki: thor never stabs me back when i stab him :(

nebula: so stab him harder????