Too Drunk To Work The Flow Charts

nasa: we're going to shoot three rockets directly at the sun during the total eclipse. for study and research purposes.

me: oh cool

nasa: we have named the rockets apep. this stands for atmospheric perturbations [in the] eclipse path.

me: oh cool

nasa: apep is also the ancient egyptian deity of chaos and darkness, who ceaselessly seeks to extinguish the sun. we launch these rockets directly at the sun in the name of apep.

me: oh... cool?

oh btw reminder for monday!

even if it’s obscured by the moon!! it’s the quality of light rather than only the quantity—even during an eclipse sunlight is very high energy and looking directly at it will burn your retinas and can cause permanent vision loss!! so don’t do it unless you have proper eyewear!!!

Me being happy that one of the firefighters on the firefighter show is finally canonically Bi despite never watching a single episode:

happy 4 u guys!!!! congratulations on all your hard work

When I went to Sunderland, my grandad told me he’d teach me how to ride when I came back for Christmas and then he fuckin’ died and I haven’t been on a bike since. And now I’m saying that out loud I realize that never learning was actually a great disrespect to his memory and now I feel ashamed so can we stop talking about it and go back to me just taking out my negative emotions on you even if you deserve it or not.

Come on, Roy. For grandad.

Started watching Merlin

So when Jesus rises from his grave everyone rejoices and it becomes a holiday but when I, Count Dracula-

Imperial passport of Kublai Khan “I am the emissary of the Khan. If you defy me, you die.” 1240 A.D. [886x960]

TIL about Wiley Brooks, the famous advocate of Breatharianism, or the belief that you can survive on air alone, except that he said the McDonald's double quarter pounder was okay to have with a diet coke because of its fifth dimensional energy. Not water though.

The X-Files (1993-2018) | 1.11: "Eve"