shiney-wild-zoid-arms reblogged
Hecate
shiney-wild-zoid-arms reblogged
I know I’ve said this before but vampires
- don’t show up on camera
- can fly/scale walls
- immune to bullets
- can break into any safe by turning into fog or some bullshit
- could probably hypnotize security guards as needed
therefore I am in dire need of a heist film where a group of vampires band together to steal back their old stuff from museums
Oceans 1100 AD
Very interested in the hardest part of this beign the vampires trying to trick someone into granting them permission to enter the premises earlier in the day
I feel like this has several simple solutions!
- they enter the museum while it’s open to the public (and the Welcome sign is on display). they turn into bats and hide in the rafters until the museum closes. the only hiccup is when the overhead announcement comes on and politely requests all visitors leave for closing. the vampire are forced to flee, but come back the next day with tiny bat-sized earplugs.
- downside: this requires going out in daylight, leading most of the team members to show up in long black victorian formalwear, complete with lacy parasols, which they insist on carrying with them throughout the entire heist (much to the frustration of the team leader, who just wore sunscreen and a raincoat).
- depending on how invitations work, it is possible any random human can invite them in. one of the vampires gets their Ultimate Frisbee buddy Oakley to tag along and invite them in after closing.
- downside: the gang spends the rest of the heist gently mocking the idea of a vampire playing association ultimate frisbee (“so what, you turn into a bat and catch it with your fangs? do they make you crawl up the wall when it gets stuck on a roof? if you turn into a cat to get it down from a tree, do you end up stuck in the tree?”) this ends in a Climactic Twist Ending when Oakley reveals they don’t play ultimate frisbee, just dog park frisbee. In the sense that they met when the vampire transformed into a wolf to gatecrashed a game at the local dog park.
- (Bonus points if Oakley is a werewolf. extra bonus points if this is revealed in a post-credits epilogue where, on the next full moon, the entire gang transforms into creatures of the night and joins Oakley at the park for a frisbee game of Bats vs Wolves)
- Final option: to gain legitimate entry, an invitation is needed from a museum employee. this presents two possibilities:
- the vampires pretend to be incredibly rich eccentric patrons who want a private nighttime tour of the museum. (this is convincing due to the fact they are rich and incredibly eccentric.) the vampires get inside, planning to hypnotize the Curator supervising their tour.
- downside: they immediately discover the Curator has been left immune to hypnosis by years of post-grad exposure to droning history lecturers. the vampires leave their least competent member to distract her while they carry out the heist–in the ensuing 90 minutes, the vampire and the curator accidentally Fall In Love after bonding over their shared fury about british archeological theft.
- (In the sequel they get married and spend their honeymoon robbing the British Museum in order to return sacred objects to the cultures from which they were stolen. this is made more
complicatedcomical by the fact vampires are unable to interact with holy objects. also, they are lesbians.) - alternatively: the gang simply bribes a security guard into letting them in after closing. the security guard then tags along, offering helpful advice for disabling alarms and transporting antiques. it turns out Security Officer Greer only applied for the job bc they too were planning an Elaborate Acrobatic Burglary, but then their partners quit to join Cirque du Soleil and “I can’t exactly perform a Double Cartwheel Birdie Flying Trapeze Boomerang Special without a partner.”
- downside: the gang becomes too attached to ask Greer to leave. They carry out the heist as intended, but this time pretending to be circus performers to explain their vampire powers. Turning into a cloud of smoke to bypass locks? Magicians never explain a trick. Spider walking across ceilings to bypass alarms? Contortionist. When it comes time to fly from roof to roof, they decide turning into bats would give away their secret, so instead they help Greer, in a sparkling moment of triumph, execute the perfect Double Cartwheel Birdie Flying Trapeze Boomerang Special!
- Greer and the gang escape (by tightrope walking) into the night with all the plunder they can carry. Tearfully, the gang begins to say goodbye (bc they can’t keep up the pretense of being circus performers forever) when Greer casually asks how a bunch of vampire ended up working in a circus.
- (Greer assumed from the beginning they were vampires, because of “how you dress, how you talk, and mostly because none of you showed up on camera back in the CCTV control room. Why did you think it took me so long to let yall in?”)
- I cannot for the lives of me decide which synopsis I like best
(all ideas shared on this blog are public domain, feel free to go nuts. you can find more story ideas like this on my ko-fi)
shiney-wild-zoid-arms reblogged
Found my 53yo very-much-not-online father in the kitchen today meticulously arranging cutlery on the countertop and i was like 'what are you doing' and he looked up at me with the world's most shit-eating grin and said "Your mother told me this is how you rick-roll the Youth" and i looked over and it was fucking. Loss.jpg.
i must stress that he's never seen the original comic. My mother simply showed him the shorthand symbol and he memorized it. As far as he is aware this is just a fucking hieroglyph that deals instant psychic damage to everyone under the age of 30
he's not wrong
shiney-wild-zoid-arms reblogged
If you're feeling helpless, boost/share these links. Donate if you can
shiney-wild-zoid-arms reblogged
My friend sometimes brings her six-year-old to our DnD sessions and my husband (the DM) lets her roll for all enemy attacks and sometimes he will show her a few figures and let her secretly pick what creature we meet next. Who needs encounter tables when you have a first-grader around
She cheers when the monster is winning.
DM: *places an ugly, slavering, repugnant, spine-tingling creature on the battle map*
Child who can barely see over the table: ᵗʰᵃᵗ’ˢ ᵐᵉ :)
shiney-wild-zoid-arms reblogged
would-you-b-so-k-ind-deactivate
So I’m on a trip with my robotics team and there’s only two “girls” (me, an enby, and a cis girl), so we get our own beds in our own room, but the guys are rooming four to a room, but there’s only two beds in each room. Which means that two guys are sleeping on the floor every night.
I’m not joking. They were literally arguing over who’s sleeping on the floor tonight (apparently they plan on rotating).
And I asked them “why don’t you just share a bed?” And they all gave me the same answer:
“No, that’s weird! That’d be gay!”
And I just looked at them and I decided to break the bad news to them
“If lying next to another guy makes you wanna suck dick, you already wanted to suck dick.”
I’ve never seen so many Straight Guys™️ enraged by a single sentence before
This is the best thing I’ve ever read in my life.
shiney-wild-zoid-arms reblogged
We need to bring back children’s programming that focuses on reading. I’m so serious
WE NEED THEM BACK ‼️‼️‼️
shiney-wild-zoid-arms reblogged
Rapper Macklemore is releasing a track called “Hind’s Hall”, speaking out on the genocide of Palestinians, and the United States complacency in this ongoing violence. Macklemore has stated that once the track drops on streaming, all proceeds from streams will be going directly to UNRWA— the United Nations Relief and Works Agency for Palestinian Refugees in the Near East.
The new tracks namesake Hind’s Hall echoes the honours that Columbia University encampment protestors bestowed the Morningside Heights campus’ Hamilton Hall— in memory of Hind Rajab, the 6 year old Palestinian girl in Gaza who was shot by Israeli soldiers after being trapped inside a vehicle, with her dead family. She had begged to be rescued as tanks closed in on her.
Macklemore using his platform to vehemently speak out against genocide, the Israeli occupation and United States-led violence is what every single artist should be doing right now. The power of art should not be underestimated. Macklemore started out in the Hip-Hop scene within communist circles, namely working alongside Blue Scholars, and has never neglected his Leftism through out his career: the artist has spoken on issues regarding mental health, addiction, racial profiling and police violence, Capitalism, women’s rights, LGBTQ+ rights and toxicity of American culture.
“The Nakba never ended, the colonizer lied” Hind’s Hall, Macklemore, 2024
shiney-wild-zoid-arms reblogged
Easy to use and simple. Just share the site whenever someone asks for GFMs for Palestine.
shiney-wild-zoid-arms reblogged
I didn't have "Yuri Renaissance" on my 2024 bingo card but it certainly seems to be the case
shiney-wild-zoid-arms reblogged
btw! I was made aware that many people don't know that we're boycotting Eurovision this year, so.
we are boycotting Eurovision, as per BDS guidelines.
don't watch the stream, don't engage with the videos, don't post it about it on social media using hashtags that are going to trend. whatever you're getting from the show isn't worth it
shiney-wild-zoid-arms reblogged
this is making me crazyy looking back now that the anime's out because when i first read this part of the manga i completely bought into the surface level idea of "haha laios is so forgetful he can't recall simple details about his party members, how silly is that" but besides the small inconsistencies, his doubles of chilchuck and senshi (and i would argue marcille) are largely the most accurate both personality-wise and visually. so even though he has a reputation for being a clueless leader and for not caring about humans enough to pay attention to their appearances, he still cares enough about his friends to pick up on what makes their personalities unique, like chilchuck being a sarcastic little shit and marcille being gay
shiney-wild-zoid-arms reblogged
hey man I found a piece of your soul stuck in the text messages of old friends you don’t speak to anymore. do you want it back
shiney-wild-zoid-arms reblogged
Yesterday, Today, and Forever
shiney-wild-zoid-arms reblogged
"US" locations of weapons and surveillance companies that supply "Israel" "US" locations of the "big six" military corporations producing most of the weapons "US" locations of corporations with active military contracts with "Israel"