Ro29

when i was a kid i had moments of being so fucking diabolical because i realized at some point the best way to leverage power over my family was to do shit that would make everybody late

our house was in the middle of nowhere surrounded by woods so when i decided i didnt want to wear dresses anymore if we were going to some event & my parents insisted i had to wear a dress i would just go hide in the woods. was so committed i almost made us miss a flight once bc my mom packed a dress in my suitcase

i only promised to stop doing this if my parents got me formal boys clothes to wear which eventually they did. i don't feel bad about resorting to violence bc i asked politely and they said no. proud of 10 yr old me for evil annoying lesbian behavior

5th grade was the last time I wore a dress for school pictures. When my parents attempted to force the issue for 6th grade, I climbed onto our roof and pulled the ladder up after me. My dad borrowed the neighbors ladder. As soon as it touched the roof I pulled it up too. By the time I had 3 ladders they were willing to negotiate, and 2 hours late for work.

There should be a universal "my bad" gesture big enough to be clearly visible to other drivers. Like if you see me bend my arm a certain way it should mean "no you're absolutely right Im sorry about that"

A little white flag I can deploy from the roof of my vehicle

Social anxiety has me thinking dumb stuff like “if I go in this store when they’re closing in an hour the employees will hate me and want to kill me” which is especially dumb to think bc I worked retail before, it’s only like the last 20 minute that they want to kill you

concept: Sindarin art of Celegorm including motifs of Morgoth’s Cuivienen-era manifestation as Dark Hunter

#oh god what a Stance#would probably cause all sorts of drama even with non-feanorian noldor that’s a massive take#oh god i’m having nightmares about early second-age Discourse#the accepted narrative is nowhere near hashed out everyone’s psychic wounds are still raw and bleeding#the feanorians especially haven’t had time to be synthesised into a coherent palatable narrative yet#fuck some of their minions are still around -#things probably at least slightly cool off as we fade into legend but eesh. EESH#(i feel like tyelko himself would take it as a compliment. at least after he’s cooled his heels in mandos for a couple of millennia) - @feanorianethicsdepartment

@shrikeseams your tags are excellent, and also consider the mess that Lindon must have been in the early Second Age. It would have included these people as well as survivors of Gondolin. And, you know, a bunch of other factions. Poor Gil-galad.

this is just my unprofessional opinion but fuck all that shit

"i cant watch shows about fantasy kingdoms without thinking about how they should be abolishing the monarchy" that my friend sounds like a skill issue

if im watching the lord of the rings extended edition i am a monarchist for 682 minutes

Drunk and flirty

(old work)

I know "60s housewives who invented slash fanfiction" has taken on a life of its own as a phrase, but Kirk/Spock didn't really exist until the 70s and THOSE WOMEN HAD JOBS. They were teachers and librarians and bookkeepers and scientists and they damn well spent their own money going to conventions, printing zines, buying fanart and making fandom happen. Put some respect on their names.

Salute to our troops (70s careerwomen who put their hard-earned dollars into homemade gay erotica)

It was women with secretarial jobs doing a lot of the heavy lifting, if memory serves correctly.

They had training in type setting, could churn things out quickly, knew how to organise mailing lists, and had easy access to Expensive High Tech like photocopiers.

Boss make a dollar, she makes a dime. That's why she's printing Kirk X Spock zines on company time.

Lmao imagine if a couple wanted to get married in Lindon or Imladris and saw Elrond and was like “sure why not” and just, asked him to witness their vows in place of any actual maiar or valar.

Like the relationship between the elves in the Valar-Only-Mildly-Care Place and the Valar/Maiar themselves has got to still be stiff since elves are stupidly stubborn about holding grudges, so imagine if a couple just went “fuck the valinor glowsticks, Lord Elrond has been feeding us well and sheltering us for over a century. He’s got some ainur blood anyway.”

So they ask Elrond to be witness and he agrees thinking they just want a lord’s blessing or something and then-

“[Elvish Marriage Vows] we swear in the name of Lord Elrond Peredhel and Eru Illuvatar [More Marriage Vows]”

And at this point Elrond just has to roll with it but he bluescreens later while Erestor and Glorfindel laugh at him (Celebrian and or Gil-Galad too if they’re around)

Bonus points if It becomes a tradition in Imladris/Lindon even though he neutrally suggests a vala instead every time like

Elrond, trying not to get smited as soon as he steps foot into Valinor: hey Lady Yavanna is pretty cool though, right?

Elven Couple, exiled thousands of years ago and still frost-bitten: yes, pity there were no flowers in the Grinding Ice, my Lord. Anyways, would you mind being a witness to our wedding ceremony?”

Elrond starts glowing slightly and never lives it down. He goes to Valinor and people still ask him out of tradition or genuine respect and the Valar just have to put a small tapestry of Elrond as a patron of unions or something so they can claim some sort of control over the situation.

Elrond is mortified, and nobody lets him live it down.

@myceliumelium @themessofthecentury

"bilbo's poetry must be so embarrassing for elrond" is out

"elrond weaponises bilbo's embarrassing poetry" is in

elrond is old! he's heard it all before! there is not a single topic bilbo could write on that he has not been forced to listen to someone recite on before. at least bilbo doesn't expect him to be particularly grateful or honoured by it.

however! that does not mean other people have reached the same level of "sure bilbo you can write a limerick about maglor" that elrond is on.

so bilbo gets elrond's full permission to write whatever he wants IF he promises to wheel out the really, really sensitive stuff on request (when there are visitors Elrond doesn't like or a diplomat is being annoying)

the wii is considered a retro console now.

THE WII IS CONSIDERED A WHAT.

<3 THIS IS THE SINGLE MOST WHOLESOME THING I HAVE EVER SEEN <3

I have the biggest smile on my face you have no idea!!!

The doggo pets their little Cat Puppy child <3

'Cause they have been petted on the head by their hoomans, they know this is a way of saying "You are good, I love you"

Dogs are such Good Critters <3

Beth Riesgraf as Parker in Leverage: Redemption (2021—)

Fruit Dinos // Ceramicorn