pomegranate prince/ss

Imagine being such a pathetic incel loser you are being roasted in multiple languages.

uooooogh the christian God is actually deer skull and raccoon salmon in pickup truck ooooooooooooooo and She (god) (usually refererd to as Male but im Queering it) talked to me in parking lot and said uh h Life Is Decay Anr Rotting and Sunlight is actually the souls of deer skull and i was like woah but im just little old me from somewhere in the contiguous USA and She (god) (Queering it) said being Yourself is th e most important thing and that i should Vote

taking a class on sex this semester which has resulted in many fun things like "sex activity" and "sex final" being added to my planner. being very mature and serious about this .

obsessed

I had a class called "What is Evil?" The professor called us his "evil students" and I got to say things like: "I have evil class later." and "I have readings in evil to do." and "Well my evil professor said..."

I miss having that class

this is what a Bodhisattva is

Oh, literally!

This is so delightful

Man: (exploding with glee)

Snek: (BEFUDDLED)

Its me, your feral godmother

*waves a wand and grants you the teeth and claws to fuck your evil step family up*

Good luck kid you're in a reverse beauty and beast situation. Do not let that princely motherfucker fall in love with your inner humanity or the spell will fail and you'll turn human again

Good news if you bite his ass you can start a pack together. Go forth. Enjoy the ball

You can bite a princess too if you want. Or a milkmaid, or a butler or whatever. Go nuts. The more the merrier

#misread as feral hogmother

That's my girlfriend, she's rooting for you too

#investing at 70 notes

That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said about a post of mine that wasn't an addition to a post of someone else's XD

#posts that will become Tumblr heritage

I wish. I don't think it's even gonna crack 500 notes

kate BUSH. not kate SHAVE. something to think about..............

hi i just created an excel sheet where i can pick a meal and have it autopopulate the ingredients i'll need as a shopping list

i have never felt so smart

OH MY GOD I CAN MAKE THEM DROP DOWN LISTS

THIS IS TRUE POWER

I NEVER HAVE TO DECIDE WHAT TO EAT OR MAKE A GROCERY LIST AGAIN

I CAN MAKE THE MACHINE DO IT FOR ME, AND ALL I HAVE TO DO IS PICK A FOOD FROM A DROPDOWN LIST

OH MY GOD I'M THE SMARTEST PERSON IN THE GAME

HI IF YOU WANNA MAKE THIS

I DID IT IN GOOGLE'S EXCEL BC THAT'S WHAT I HAVE ACCESS TO ON MY PERSONAL DEVICE. I IMAGINE EXCEL EXCEL IS PROB SIMILAR.

hi, to make this easier, i made a google account just to make a shareable link for the original i made.

it's viewer only mode, so you can't edit the link itself, but i tested it out, and all you have to do is copy/paste it into a doc of your own, and then you'll be able to edit it no problem.

this way, the only thing you'll need to do is input your own dishes and ingredients and all the formulas will already be good to go.

You cannot say that a top grossing artist is "feral" or making you "feral." You are listening to the Billboard Top 40. You are very domesticated.

Stupid ass take. The fame of the artist doesn't define how it makes you feel. Do you not see me go hogwild eating potatoes, easily one of the top 5 most well known vegetables

We're like shooting stars you and I

My mom is waxing poetic about cheese tonight

btw this is not a “which do i find LEAST disgusting” poll. this is for the freaks who want to be covered in natural substances

i don't like to yuck people's yum but i have to say that my least favorite thing to come from the current state of Artists on the Internet is the idea of a sketchbook as something nice and pretty and shareable. like i love me a notebook full of gorgeous art don't get me wrong but that is NOT what a sketchbook is. a sketchbook is my friend who i carry around everywhere like a purse chihuahua. it is the physical manifestation of my notes app. it is the container into which i wring my brain out. it is my therapist. and most of all it is filled with absolutely terrible sketches that should never see the light of day.

this post is making the rounds again and the amount of people saying that the pretty sketchbooks phenomenon ruined sketchbooks for them is HEARTBREAKING and i stand by my opinion that sketchbooks should be like a jar you put your OCs in. and then you shake them around in there. that's what they're for

I think having a baby niece is great cause my brother will send me just a constant stream of messages that sound indistinguishable from how someone at Jurassic park would text if they were being hunted by the raptor

the feature i really need tumblr to add is to have your moms phone number on your profile so if you disagree with me i call your mom to tattle on you but then your mom and i get to talking and we realize we actually have a lot in common then at the same time we say “maybe we should continue this conversation over dinner” then we both laugh and that night your mom and i meet for dinner and i bring her flowers and pay for her food and we have a beautiful evening together that leads into an even more beautiful night on a beach under the stars and i turn to your mom and say “i know this may seem a little fast but i’ve never felt this way before” and she says “i was thinking the same thing” and we kiss under the moonlight and we realize in that moment that we want to spend the rest of our lives together so i move in with her and fall in love more every day and we grow old together and she passes before i do but luckily i’ve come to think of her children like they’re my own then years later i’m on my death bed and you say “you were like a second mother to me” and i say “hey remember when you disagreed with me online 50 years ago well L + ratio + i fucked your mom LOL” then i die having got the last word in

Imagine The Fellowship all sitting around the campfire halfway up Caradhras retelling the events of the Hobbit to Boromir and Aragorn Rashomon-style with Gimli going "my dad tells it this way" and Legolas going "well, my dad tells it this way" and the Hobbits all going "but Bilbo tells it this way!" and, even though Gandalf was fucking there for half of it, he refuses to weigh in on anything because watching them argue is more fun and also he doesn't remember because it was over 75 years ago.

Even better: Gandalf remembers it perfectly fine but he keeps making shit up and agreeing to multiple different versions just to throw everyone off

Too good to hide in the tags!