This is me, I'm working on it.

I want to thank all the gif-makers of tumblr for allowing me to experience all of the best, funniest, hottest, most poignant, most romantic, most intensely heart-tugging moments of shows that I will absolutely never watch.

alex hirsch going rogue… king shit

video game companion: we have to go right now we have to complete this SUPER URGENT quest, everyone is relying on us the WORLD is relying on us

me stopping to loot every single corpse:

as sympathetic as i am to our mutual friend Jonathan's plight, it still sounds pretty cushy compared to literally any modern retail or service job. "oh no I've been coerced into serving a powerful inhumane monster that feeds on the blood of its victims" yeah babe that's called a megacorporation

#honestly I would deal with vampires to get to live in a castle with room service for a month

Courts have literally ruled that the police are a gang and not lifesaving heroes. And people still think otherwise.

Plz specify then.

So with gas being so expensive and groceries also being more expensive grocery shopping is becoming a whole *thing* now. The cheaper grocery stores are down the highway while the more expensive hip grocery stores are on my street… lots of pro and con-ing going on. basically I’m saying tear down Whole Foods and build an Aldi thanks

!!! “a different kind of food desert”

Oh heavens the wealthy among us struggle as they finally succumb to their expensive, impractical, and over gentrified neighborhoods. I pity them.

this is clearly about poor people living in areas that have been gentrified and taken over by the rich. read the screenshot again. do you seriously think ‘the wealthy among us’ are the ones struggling to feed their families on SNAP

This is called a food mirage and they are more common than you’d think.

I think it's kind of funny how common a trope hive minds are in science fiction like we're all super fascinated by the concept of a linked species that shares data through psychic link or whatever. But when it comes down to it it's just as likely that an alien might see us and consider us to be a linked species because we are constantly connected and we share data through vibrations in the air or in codes that are just manipulating a space so different frequencies of light can be observed against each other or in an elaborate system of movement. And we are basically always doing this and none of our complex thoughts show up on their own they are built upon by others and every piece of ourselves is influenced by the networks of other humans that share data with us. Like sure we CAN exist as an individual unit but you die if you haven't spent years getting data that teaches you how to survive like none of us can just LEAVE the hive mind right away and we only thrive when part of a communal unit. Idk maybe this is nothing but I think it's kind of cool.

now that i think about it, jonathan harker would’ve been a great character in frankenstein. he’s so completely oblivious to dracula’s red flag parade that he’d probably completely avert the creature’s murderous rampage by accidentally befriending him after spending a page and a half writing about some weirdly tall homeless guy with daddy issues he ran into

“I’ve met the most peculiar man today. He was far taller in height than I have ever witnessed before. His face gave off a general sense of ugliness, though I cant quite place why considering he seems to be quite handsome when not in animation. A multitude of scars seemed to cover his body, perhaps from a terrible accident and the subsistent surgeries. I’ve noticed that he always looks close to crying. When i asked his name, he replied, in length, that he had none. How queer! As he seemed fairly harmless, and rather in need, I invited him to accompany me on my passage to Count Dracula. He looked bewildered, but accepted. I know not whether he shall continue to accompany me when I return to Mina, but I’m quite certain she would never reject hospitality to so miserable a man!”

Also consider:

My dearest Margaret, so odd a stranger has joined my ship! I know nothing of him other than he seems to be some sort of European, like Victor, though not the same. He introduced himself as Count Dracula, and spoke with utmost clarity and mastery of the english language. Victor looked upon him in a rather fragile state and cried out.

“Is one demon not enough for my so miserable life? Must another specter haunt my every waking hour, even now as I am so wretched? Oh, save me Walton, save me! The devil comes near, and he dost wish to smother all hope of respite and tranquility!”

Saying such, he leaped from where he was seated on the deck, and promptly fainted. I apologized for my friend’s behavior and brought Victor back to my cabin.

Sincerely, your confused brother, Robert. W

You know, considering Victor’s extensive experience with dismembering dead bodies and reanimating and the fact that his problem for his entire book was that he didn’t think anyone would believe him, I do sincerely think that Frankenstein would catch onto Dracula’s deal at once and immediately make it everyone else’s problem.

victor accidentally fucking up dracula while jonathan accidentally un-fucks up the creature? sign me the hell up!

All these posts declaring that Victor would only be able to cry and faint at Dracula seem to forget that his first meeting with his creature started with him hurling insults and trying to fistfight the 8 ft tall supernatural brick shithouse of muscle while having the constitution of a consumptive heroine so like while this absolutely wouldn’t bode well for his long term survival in Dracula’s castle you’ve gotta admit it would be way funnier.

Essentially the creature would find the one guy who’s too polite to say anything about his appearance while Dracula to his horror would have met the one man in the world who’s even more of a fucking nightmare to deal with than him.

Frankenstein, eyes bloodshot and probably on totally normal Victorian amounts of cocaine: “Hey buddy count I found all these fresh cadavers in your basement —“

Dracula: “Vait how did you find my cadavers”

Frankenstein: “Look, I need them for reasons and you just had them laying around and were obviously not using them and they’re peasants right? So —“

Dracula: “Vhat do you possibly need cadavers for?”

Frankenstein: “I already told you, REASONS! Anyway I can’t help but notice all of them are totally drained of blood and I need the blood.”

Dracula: “how are you getting them out of the ground so quickly, you’re like a hundred pounds soaking vet —“

Frankenstein: “THE BLOOD, Dracula. I need the BLOOD. WHERE THE FUCK IS THE BLOOD. TELL ME, DRAC.”

Later:

Frankenstein: *long winded flowery speech about how Count Dracula is a fiendish devil and vile abomination etc for what he’s done to the corpses*

Dracula: My brother in Christ YOU’RE the one robbing MY graveyard!!!

Frankenstein: *suckerpunches him*

you’re the only person on this post i trust. please never stop i love you

The fight for abortion and reproductive rights [handshake emoji] the fight for trans rights

Can someone with editing skills add disability rights please?

Ask and ye shall receive

if you all are bothered by the new update where long posts are cut off by the ‘view post’ thingy, then just follow this:

- settings>dashboard>shorten long posts and toggle it off (browser)

OR 

- settings>general settings>dashboard preferences>shorten long posts and toggle it off (the app)

Reblog to save a life

Dystopia made in America

as if "the cops at ur school" wasnt already absurd

Oh, but HE gets to sit down on the clock

we need carbs and we need fats and we need proteins and honestly fuck diet culture for normalizing malnourishment