a wonderful surprise.

discord is getting shittier and shittier and people talking about it is a good thing but i hope i never have to see "skype was good actually" revisionist posting because of it

okay i don't mean to be dramatic but it's downright evil how doctors (don't) treat people with chronic headaches

and i am purposely saying "chronic headaches," even though MOST chronic headaches are migraines, because i know it took me a loooong time to realize i had migraines. and ultimately the distinction doesn't matter insofar as people in chronic pain deserve access to safe, effective treatment. and this is (needlessly, cruelly) not the case for so many people with chronic headache/migraine, many of whom have to jump through hoops for insurance companies before they can get the treatment that actually works.

there's been a recent proposal to redefine chronic migraine as anyone who gets more than 8 headaches per month, because that was found to be as disabling as the current criteria (more than 15 per month). and it's just so upsetting at how many people are just. suffering without treatment.

based on the tags this post is getting! hi hello it's me the migraine fairy, here to tell you that if you're getting headaches most days of your life without any underlying injury/cause etc, these are most likely migraines. not headaches. despite common perception, migraine does not mean "extremely painful headache." it's a neurological condition that includes many symptoms, of which pain (mild to severe) is one. you may be having these other symptoms (fatigue, sensitivity to sensory input like light/sound/smell, nausea, auras, brain fog, digestive upset, etc) without necessarily linking them to your headache, and these symptoms can start before the pain and last for hours/days.

if at all possible, please see a neurologist! despite the crankiness of my original post, there ARE amazing treatments and preventatives available. you will probably have to jump through some hoops, as the op suggested, but. it's worth it to find some relief.

Being in the top 1% of your top artist is mental, but have ya'll ever been in the top 0.5%? I've done it twice. Once for 2pm and the other for Somo.

What was your obscure chatroom/forum that you used before social media? Don’t say Gaia Online or Club Penguin. I’m talking obscure.

I don't think younger/newer users fully grasp the shit show that ace discourse was around 2014-17

It was so hostile that, to this day, discussions that begin to derail just enough can make me physically nauseous, some specific mockery trigger crying sessions years later. We lost most accounts with any sort of ace positivity. There was no information, no support, and all this damage was done predominantly by other queer people.

All this to say that you, however you identify yourself, should be engaging with aphobic comments the same way you do any hate. We don't sugarcoat or try to be comprehensive with people who are blatantly racist, homophobic or terfs, so why give it a pass just because it's coming from a queer person? I see how this tolerance goes and it's done enough damage as it is.

I’ve met new aces who know nothing about ace culture. We had rings, black for ace, white for aro. We had dragons and space and cake and all of it. All of it got mocked and erased and bullied so completely that it’s not on the site anymore. I still follow the aro/ace positivity tags and sometimes someone brings them up again and I flinch. I honest to god flinch.

Hell, I came out as aroace at the same time as that discourse - and AVEN got so thoroughly smeared that I’ve never gone looking for it. There’s culture I don’t know. It kills me.

I used to run a blog for ace rep in books, I deleted it out of fear that I was going to get harassed.

When ace folk talk about being forced back into the closet we are not joking. Anyone on the ace spectrum were so violently harrassed that it was legitmately safer for them to not ID as ace publicly. Literally anything would get you death threats.

Anti-ace folks were in bed with terfs and I'm sorry if that upsets people but yall really gotta understand that literally every anti-ace talking point was the exact same that is given to bisexuals, pansexuals, and trans women.

They talked about how we were "stealing resources", about how we were "predators" because we "sexualized children" with our identities as being asexual, about how we are "invading LGBT spaces".

There were multiple anti-ace "memes" that were just straight up death threats. "Take the shot Jessica" followed up with "Target Sighted" is one that still haunts me to this day.

Some of the biggest "exclusionist" discourse blogs all ended up being white women, several of whom race faked. One even claimed to be a Half-black half-jewish intersex trans woman who would become half of whatever race she was arguing with. It took a massive amount of people all pouring evidence into what she was doing for her to finally get dropped because oh yea, maybe its a bad look to have the white christian perisex girl be the "face" after all of this.

Ace people were routinely told that their sexual assaults didn't happen. People routinely told us that we can't have words to describe our oppression because it "groups gay people with straights". Ace people were routinely told that because we aren't sent to conversion therapy that we weren't "actually LGBT", and the people who did let it clear that they were sent to conversion therapy because they're asexual? "Oh that didn't happen." "Actually that was homophobia, not aphobia"

The "exclusionists" likewise, would REFUSE to not tie anything into conversion therapy. They'd literally use conversion therapy doctrine to dictate if you're gay enough.

The Acecourse was also around the time "queer is a slur" really started to gain traction, and guess what the exclusionists were doing? They were calling aces and our allies "Radikweers" without a fucking hint of irony while screaming about how queer is a slur and you need to tag everything with Q Slur

There was a DEDICATED sect of "exclusionists" who were lesbians obsessed with the idea of making the existence of asexual women a lesbophoic problem. I'm not even fucking joking. Same group of people would then claim that if you didn't have sex with them then you're abusive because you're "Witholding sex, which is an emotional need".

Exclusionists were by and large, white gays that were pissed off that they couldn't do assimilation and respectability politics because the rest of us were too weird rocked the boats too much to be able to slot neatly into the whole 2 kids white picket fence.

^nailed it. “Piss your pants” replaced “kys” and “up the road not cross the street” but we all knew what it meant. Most of the people targeted were like me - 18 and under who dared to like being aroace, ace, or aro. Almost all of us weren’t even “straight” (as in heterosexual or heteromantic). All trying to defend ourselves and our orientations while being attacked by people who proudly called us “kweer”s and “mogai trash” and told us to die. Told us we should be put in concentration camps, once. That we weren’t hurt or struggling or erased, we were just white kids trying to be different and quirky.

Edit: by the by, the reason they changed to piss your pants was because we were mass reporting their blogs for harassment for telling aces and aros to kill themselves. They changed it to piss your pants specifically because you can’t really report that to tumblr and expect a takedown. But again. We knew what it meant.

You'd go into the ace positivity tags and you'd see shit like "Trump ace moodboard uwu" from exclusionists. You'd see it regularly with all kinds of filth like him: Trump, Thatcher, fucking Hitler.

You'd have blogs PROUDLY TOUTING their aphobia. Blogs had titles like "aphobicrosequartz" (who was a fucking mess and a half), You'd have big name blogs reblogging from known aphobes, and when people asked "hey, are you aphobic/an exclusionist," they'd be like "uwu I don't want to get involved in discourse" and like, the post below that ask is a reblog openly making fun of aces.

You know how "lgbtpn" was briefly a thing? Yeah, that's because aphobes used it to explicitly exclude aces, while trying to appease people and include pans and nbs.

There was graphic porn and gore regularly in ace related tags from aphobes. That's how fucking bad it was. Even now I don't venture into the asexual tag. It really was horrific, how aspecs were treated. And a lot of aphobes never stopped, they just became quiet about it and started saying "I don't wanna get involved in discourse" while they openly rb from aphobes and never reblog anything written ace stuff, even in multi sexuality queer posts.

Yeah the whole "i don't want to get involved in discourse" while having urls that are (if you know what to look for) explicitly aphobic and continuing to reblog aphobic jokes and from other aphobes

It really sucks to follow someone new and scout their blog for any hint of where they stand, how they feel about you, and often there isn't any hint, so you think it's safe and for a while it is! And then you get one of those jokes or shitty moodboards and realize what they think about you

Remember.

TumblrClan is no place for a fox-hearted Twittypet like Elon Musk. 

some of you need to go outside and I dont mean that in a mean or condescending way I mean it in a "you would benefit from talking to real people face to face, and developing social skills" type way

genuinely tho. more and more frequently i interact with people online who shock me with how young they act for how old they are, because i associate that level of social and interpersonal inability with fucking. fourteen year olds. there is a noticeable deterioration of social skills and it's annoying as someone who actually knows how to talk to people, because i find myself having to almost parent people basically my age into learning how to properly communicate. no, just saying insults and then adding /lh does not mean you're friends with someone. you can't just call someone a bitch or a whore or any type of slur and get surprised when they aren't okay with that, because if you actually took a step outside you'd realize those are words that have a whole lot of weight behind them and online get thrown around by social infants with no clue how to properly talk to people.

people are always coming to tell me that i'm very nice or very welcoming, and i don't know how to explain this to you, but it's because i have actual social skills. i know how to be polite. i know how to listen to people. i know how to actually form healthy relationships with people who aren't just words on a screen. and it's come to my realization that not everyone does, which makes it extra exhausting to keep up conversations with literal adults who don't even understand the basics of interpersonal communication.

this puts it into words well ty

tags from @/lemonberry-conda and they're entirely correct

Justin needs to go down as a national hero for this

happy earth day, from me and carl sagan both.

ad-free tumblr should include the crab button

ad-free tumblr should include the crab button and allow subscribers to gift individual crabs to other blogs (so that way everyone can have crabs but there's still an incentive to subscribe)

I really appreciate how every week I reblog this, a different person interacts it. Tuesday light me up speaks to all of us at different times.

I don’t care about the twitter people’s replies to this I want the white whales of the literary salon tastemakers on tumblr

The Happy99 worm, also known as Ska or i-Worm, was a worm for Windows, appearing in 1999. The worm would display a gif of exploding fireworks in a window titled “Happy New Year 1999!″. This was the first worm known to spread via e-mail and usenet. Other than attaching itself to the user’s computer, this worm did no damage.

Peanuts (December 31, 1975) by Charles M. Schulz