when my brother and i were kids we got in trouble for using the term "dadding" to mean making a promise you have no intent to follow thru on which is a testament to this country's disdain for creative types

if I say "I have to Austin Powers my car out of a parking space," do you understand what i mean

like this?

Play toys with me

what if i *remembers that making suicide jokes is not conducive with my goal of improving the wellbeing of myself and everyone around me* transform into an oyster

time for me to laugh at old internet posts again

If you could ask Walter White one question, what would it be?

me looking up at you after you call my name

BEHOLD...

8 dabloons

delicate creatures who die of colic but love spicy curry. the world is cruel.

baby what's wrong, you've barely touched your 18 pounds of cokane 12 pounds of crake and 7 male stripers (diverse)