NonniNoodle

well maybe you should figure that out before reposting someone elses artwork

easy solution

me: Storytime—I Bought That Mysterious Amulet You Said Was Cursed ‼️‼️

my apprentice: why are you talking like that

me:

my apprentice: is it the curse

me: My Apology Video (I F*cked Up!) 😱 Should Have Listened To My Apprentice 😭

seelie court official: INFO: how many ad breaks are in the apology video?

and there is one blazing moment in which you finally understand that there was no dragon. that there was no vader. that there was only you. only anakin skywalker.

that it was all you. is you. only you.

you did it. you killed her.

-person who forgot to take their not-feeling-terrible medication

So this post is the single reason I took my meds today. Reblogging out of duty.

idk man the nervous system makes me kinda nervous

jason todd ilysm

i get that i can expect to see the “unreality” tag a lot on my stuff. i post a lot of weird eldritch shit and even when i post something that isn’t it’s still deeply steeped in my nonsense.

but i’m fucking losing my mind at how even my posts that are correct and true will be tagged that. fatal incuriosity is inescapable when you’re me.

my “a coin is a three sided object. never forget that.” post earned an unreality tag at one point

i’m sorry but maybe you’re not the best watchdog for what’s real and what isn’t, champ. i think being the arbiter of reality requires at least a basic understanding of 3d space.

tumblr users experiencing “unreality”

i once posted the south up map in here and someone tagged it unreality… buddy that’s the earth……..

I think the funniest dynamic for arranged-marriage royalty would be a queen who came here 100% prepared to murder her future husband and rule as a widow queen in her own right, only to discover that the king is autistic as hell and responds to her wish to rule with "oh thank god please do, I don't want to be bothered by these people. I can just tell them to go bother you instead, if you really want that. I've got beetles I wanted to study."

"I'm really not good at it," the king admits with horrible, aching grief. The country is in disarray. Peasants go hungry. Nobles trade power amongst themselves with impunity.

So the queen takes over and ruthlessly sets things to rights. Fires several generals, hangs nobles, redirects wealth to the peasantry. It isn't long before the first assassination attempt, which she expected.

She did not expect her docile, beetle-obsessed husband to go absolutely feral and fling himself at the assassins wielding a pair of sharp knives.

Also, the beetles are intended to attack and kill a certain type of invasive worm that has been killing off the gourd and potato crops for decades. He’s been trying since he was a child to crossbreed several native species to be hardier and better diggers. When he finally gets it right it’s all over for you bitches (“you bitches” being mass starvation of subsistence farmers).

Mad Scientist and the Head of HR ass dynamic

my absolute favorite joke to make is saying "sorry, I got hungry" whenever someone loses something

"Where did I put my phone" sorry I was hungry. "fuck, I can't find my lab report" got hungry. sorry. "my website isnt loading!" yeah, sorry about that, I got hungry

literally never gets old

"hey, have you seen [friend]?" ah, well, about that,

"lol jews find so many loopholes in their own religion they must hate being jewish" damn just say you're uncreative and have never examined your own religious texts further than the exact words written down on the paper. just say you take everything at face value and you never enjoy reading between the lines to gain a new understanding of something. it's ok, we all see it already

Capybara meat is allowed for lent because a priest in venezuela vaguely described it as aquatic to the vatican because he was sick of eating fish (beaver is also permissible) and muslim hijabis shape cloth to get around the prohibition of showing their hair while cosplaying

“Lawyering” is a thing in all religions and customs

this is going viral on the tweeter currently so. for you also. miku is not ai!!

Your daily reminder

it's official, genAI is now called PISS

“we need to teach media literacy in schools” guys was i really the only person paying attention in english class bffr

There’s a very easy solution to this.

this is what he sounds like

Ya’ll I have to point out

The chart? Covers from 1998 to 2022... It’s 2023. That’s 25 years. Of course he’s trying to dump the reputation.