jess

yeah

Here we see a man once again struggling to comprehend the sheer depravity of his fandom.

Go get tickets to Momiplier’s documentary “Markiplier from North Korea” bc:

A.) We love and support Momiplier in this house.

B.) We appreciate the hard work everyone put into it.

C.) Noods. (FOR CHARITY!)  :)

“Woop woop! We have liftoff!” 💥 I saw Junkrat’s redesign for Overwatch 2 and got excited… once a Junkrat main, always a Junkrat main.

Plop

(via)

BABASOR

Honey, that's a cat bed.

He did his best

gold star A++ perfect execution inspiring style

hang on babe let me just transcribe my last terrified words into this journal so the next adventurer that enters this crypt will have some semblance of environmental storytelling

 i tried to be funny and it backfired miserably

not this being my digital foot print😐…… ok if this godforsaken post ever reaches 500k notes i’ll pay tribute n recreate it & hopefully 14yr old me can finally be put to rest alongside mcr

new rule, anyone who sees this pinned post must reblog it at least once, thank you, that is all

it’s a lovely night on tumblr and you are a horrible goose

OMFG WHAT IS THISMSKSK??????

This is why I carry my corgi in a backpack everyday. 

(Source)

Okay, so she's either rivals or besties with the guy that does the super old baking recipes that always turn out better than he expects.

congrats lil buddy that’s the worst anyone’s ever done it

Fanart

The answer was pretzels all along

Thanks pretzel witch

Y'all have,,, NO idea how much I want a pizza rn. It is taking all of my willpower to save my money and not order one this instant to celebrate getting stuff done today

late-stage capitalism is i want pizza but congress won’t buy me one

wait I haven’t tried

I’m gonna call my congressman and see

Hmm… Ted Cruz isn’t answering. Still a coward, I see,

I’m gonna ask my governor now and tell him Cruz said it was out of his jurisdiction so he’ll feel all important. dude sued the city and is richer than god he can afford a pizza

HDGJDFHGJ SOMEONE PICKED UP,,, this is how it went:

Me: Hello, I would like to request an audience with Governor Abbott

Secretary: I’m sorry. I can relay a message and have him get back to you in a call or email.

Me: Okay, thanks! Due to some recent changes and current economic disparity in Texas, I’ve calculated that Gov. Abbott makes enough a year to buy over 10,000 pizzas, for example. As a display of his claims to make efforts towards rebuilding the middle class, all I ask is that he buy me one single pizza. 

Secretary: *incredulous laugh/scoff noise*

Me: That’s less than 0.0001% of his salary, not even taking his enormous wealth into consideration, and will affect my voting decision next election cycle. My paypal is https://www.paypal.me/quinintheclouds 

Secretary: …I’ll let him know.

Secretary: *Hangs up*

None of them bought me a pizza. Guess you could say they crust my dreams :((

pLOT TWIST THE SECRETARY SENT ME $15 FOR MAKING HER LAUGH AND CAUSE SHE HATES WORKING THERE,,, THE SUBJECT LINE SAID POLITICAL PIZZA

I scrolled away but had to come back and reblog.

This is amazing

As a person who freaks out about talking to my own family members, I am in awe of the fact that you actually did this

me too, but consider: I was really hungry

“Hmm… Ted Cruz isn’t answering. Still a coward, I see,” is the most powerful thing I’ve ever read.

Onward, steed!

This happened and humans still think they are the only intelligent life form on earth…

1/21/2020