the-birch-trees reblogged

mydearestmonster

Werewolf: *transforming* You have to go, now! I don’t want you to see me like this…

Human s/o: Don’t push me away! I’m not afraid of you!!

Werewolf: No no I’m just really dumb as a wolf and I don’t want you to see me bark at a mirror for two hours

dirtymonsterconfessions

How could you hide this beautiful thing in the tags?

- Mod Naga

silver-tongues-blog

werewolf after waking up the next morning: I am going to kill you Human: is it because i threw werewolf: YES ITS BECAUSE YOU THREW THE STICK BUT REALLY JUST HID IT BEHIND YOUR BACK

sleep-deprivation-rules

werewolf: what happened yesterday

Human : you need to apologize to the mailman

the-birch-trees reblogged

hashtagloveloses

napstachill

watch kipo

the-birch-trees reblogged

jupiterianvampire

Me and the gals on a Friday night

the-birch-trees reblogged

thealpacalypse-archive

Deutsche AUs

Heute ist “Speak Your Language Day”, deswegen hier ein paar AUs für euer EWP (Einzig Wahres Pärchen) :

“Die Bahn streikt und wir stecken beide fest an einem Bahnhof am Arsch der Welt, aber oh man, du bist heiß” AU
“Wir sind beide mit einem sehr peinlichen und obskuren Talent beim Casting fürs Supertalent, aber zum Glück ist dein Talent noch peinlicher und obskurer als meins” AU
“Ich lande regelmäßig nach dem Clubben in deiner Dönerbude und du amüsierst dich über meine Misserfolge, jemanden abzuschleppen, aber inzwischen versuche ich eigentlich eh nur noch, dich rumzukriegen” AU
“Die Bahn streikt, ich bin in einem überfüllten Zug eingequetscht zwischen schwitzenden, fremden Leuten, aber seit zehn Minuten zwingt der Platzmangel mich dazu, meinen Kopf gegen deinen Hinterkopf zu lehnen und verdammt, riechen deine Haare gut” AU
“Du bist Badenser, ich stolzer Schwabe. Wir müssen uns hassen, aber da ist diese Elektrizität zwischen uns…” AU
“Du bist sturzbetrunken, es ist mitten in der Nacht und du willst in meinem Kiosk ein Schlauchboot kaufen?” AU
“Du denkst, es heißt ‘der Nutella’ und ich kenne dich nicht, aber ich muss dir einen Vortrag über die Grammatik von Nougatcreme halten” AU
“Meine Waldorfschule und dein Elitegymnasium sind seit Generationen verfeindet, aber wir sind das heimliche, tragische Liebespaar, unstern bedroht.”
“Was soll das heißen, du hast noch nie Eurovision geschaut?????!” AU
“Wie, du weißt nicht was Kehrwoche ist?????” AU
“Du bist ein überheblicher Hipster Snob auf Wacken, keine Ahnung, was du hier machst, und eigentlich mache ich mich ununterbrochen über dich lustig, aber wenigstens riechst du besser als die meisten anderen Leute hier” AU
“Es ist Fußball WM und wir sind die scheinbar einzigen zwei Menschen im Land, die das nicht zu interessieren scheint” AU
“Du trägst ein Helene Fischer Shirt und ich MUSS dich einfach ansprechen, weil Helene mein heimliches Laster ist” AU
“Ich verstehe kein Wort von deinem Dialekt” AU
“Fans verfeindeter Fußballmannschaften” AU

carryonmytardisjohn

Perfektion

the-birch-trees reblogged

my-people-skillls-are-rusty

mjalti

sometimes im like “tone down the Self to fit in” and other times, the voice of God comes to me in a dream and says “I didn’t make you crazy for no reason”

the-birch-trees

this is my exact thought process every morning when i go to school.

and when i, god knows why, walk in snow completely barefoot

#i am very small #and i have no impulse control #birch speaks for once

the-birch-trees reblogged

my-people-skillls-are-rusty

fascra

you know how the greeks wrote about love between two men being the highest form of love, but like, it wasn’t a #winforthegays, it was just because they hated women sooo much? supernatural vibes.

the-birch-trees reblogged

lesbianshepard

muppet version of knives out where daniel craig is the token human and changes nothing about his performance

the-birch-trees

bitches really be laughing like a villain while writing angsty fanfics

its me im bitches

#birch is writing #birch speaks for once

the-birch-trees reblogged

swimmingfeelsinajohnlockianpool

left-reminders

To be clear: this is an intentional tactic from these sniveling shitbags. Of course they're gonna try to throw the left under the bus even when this was transparently an example of fascist sedition.

Here's the video from that first tweet.

mentally-homeless

It's also not a new tactic, Nazis burned down the Reichstag and blamed it on the Communists. It is happening here.

the-birch-trees reblogged

cpcksrdmnfnmdftrnsprttn

prguitarman

I’m 35 now. Also here’s the original doodle

sfitty

THE CREATOR OF NYAN CAT HAS BEEN ON TUMBLR THIS WHOLE TIME?!

the-birch-trees

i still can't believe that i kin a man that is old enough to be my grandfather smh

#sirius black #sirius black kinnie #kin #kinning #birch speaks for once #harry potter

the-birch-trees reblogged

enbysiriusblack

im the depressed, remus-less, slytherin version of sirius black

what are u??

the-birch-trees

hi, the depressed, remus-less, slytherin version of sirius black, im the depressed, remus-less, ravenclaw/slytherin, nonbinary version of sirius black.

glad to meet you.

#sirius black #remus lupin #god i hate myself #birch speaks for once

the-birch-trees

nooo i don't want therapy what if i loose my ✨s p a r k l e✨

my current ✨s p a r k l e✨: laying in my bed desperate to cry or just feel like a real person for once because i am just so numb and indulging in self-destructive behaviour to feel something, anything

#birch speaks for once #tw #therapy #✨s p a r k l e✨#mention of self-destructive behaviour #i am also inable to talk about what it bothering me #or accept any help #i mean i do talk about it but i dont talk about it #not abput the actual shit that is going on #the self harm or the suicidal thoughts or how i can never be sure which memories are fake #tw self harm #tw suicidal thoughts

the-birch-trees reblogged

another-dead-intern

jaderavenarts

Can you believe I only started listening to WTNV a year ago

the-birch-trees

okay i have a question

i keep seeing people saying how hard parallel parking is and i just... i dont get it. it's literally the easiest way to park your car. i did that in my thrid or fourth driving lesson. i could do it right now. please tell me what the problem is? is there something i'm missing? is it just some grand joke? because everyone i know never had issues with that im driving school, or even later??

#birch speaks for once #parallel parking #car #driving

the-birch-trees reblogged

flaming-celestial-comet

This fanfic I’m never going to write is really damn good.

the-birch-trees reblogged

flaming-celestial-comet

guerrillatech

deglutitionborborygmus

[ID: a tweet by dani @/marineiguanas reading: ‘Too much “you’re a bad person if you buy from amazon” not enough “amazon created a monopoly as the only retailer in poor, rural, food insecure areas and people that live there don’t have a choice but to buy from them”’ \End ID]