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Pokémon Breeder Jenny

@pokemonbreederjenny

Just Pokémon stuff. Main: @Doomed-Jester
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I'm gonna be tagging all of my Pokémon Legends Arceus stuff with "#pokemon Legends Arceus" and "#pla spoilers" so if you're dodging spoilers block those tags

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lesbianmarth

top tier character-building device in pokemon games is when a seemingly antagonistic character has a golbat on their team and then later has it evolved into a crobat, which requires significant friendship, thus signalling that the character was always a kind person inside (plumeria), is growing past their issues and learning to be kinder (silver), may hold a spark of kindness that undermines their cold and calculating image (cyrus), etc etc

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hiddency

Meanwhile, Ghetsis—who is an antagonist who pretends to be an advocate for Pokemon rights—faces off against you with an under-leveled Hydreigon, which in the canon lore of the series only happens when someone forces evolution early, and that Hydreigon uses a full-power Frustration in B2W2, suggesting that it absolutely loathes Ghetsis.

For any non-pokemon players:

In pokemon games, there’s a hidden stat called friendship, which maxes out at 255 points; there are two (major) moves that are affected by this:

Return, which gets stronger the higher a pokemon’s friendship stat is, capping at 102 base power with 255 friendship (for context, hyper beam has a base power of 150)

And frustration, which does the opposite, getting stronger the lower a pokemon’s friendship stat is, capping out at 102 base power when the pokemon is at 0 friendship

The EXTRA fucked up thing is, almost NO pokemon has a base friendship of 0. The only pokemon that do are legendary pokemon and buneary. So Ghetsis actively lowered his Hydreigon’s friendship, and the only way to do that in-game is to let your pokemon faint often without using healing items on them

In other words Ghetsis is a major cunt

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trekfaerie

wh

what’s up with buneary???

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bramblepatch

Buneary fucking hates you by default. It’s also another friendship-dependent evolution line.

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valley-o

for others who are clueless in the poking men, this is the tiny bunny that fucking hates you

Bunneary hates your guts with the force of Gods

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pondwitch

this is qwilfish, a generation 2 pokemon

im just posting this to say, i have never, in my entire life, seen anyone acknowledge its existence.

not only have i never seen fanart of qwilfish, ive absolutely never seen it mentioned in any kind of pokemon discussion, ever

good

I had a friend who honest to god IV bred and trained several Qwilfish. He didn’t tell anyone about them, you found out because  he’d suddenly pull out the Qwilfish team against you when you didn’t expect it.

And every single one of them knew Explosion. All of his Qwilfish were IV bred and EV trained for speed and max damage, they all held choice scarf, and his entire gameplan was to trade KOs with exploding Qwilfish. Their names were ‘So’, ‘I’, ‘herd’, ‘u’, and ‘liek’. The man was an avid mudkip fanatic at the time that joke was relevant, so here you are expecting his last pokemon to be a Mudkip or a Swampert, but no. It’s a Snorlax. Who’s name was ‘QWILFISH’ And his plan from that point out was to stall for ages with Rest, Yawn and Giga Impact. Slowly whittle away at your hitpoints while putting you to sleep with him and retaining his massive HP pool with rest and leftovers. Oh, and just in case you were wondering, this was Gen 4, when the R4 was rampant and everyone knew someone with one, so pokemon with moves they shouldn’t know was pretty common. So once you were down to your last pokemon and on your last legs… His Snorlax also knew Explosion. 250 base damage + stab.

That man was a treasure.

I don’t understand a word of what you’re saying, but this sounds epic and I’m reblogging this for my Pokemon-savvy friends.

I both fear and have feelings for this man.

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iguanamouth

My boyfriend won’t stop talking to me about whether or not I would eat Pokémon steaks. We think maybe Mr. Mime steaks would have white meat and ooze a purple liquid. I feel like you’re the only one qualified to tell us more

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listen the ONLY part of a mr mime thats edible are the red spots, and thats ONLY after being properly cooked - if you bite into any part of their body while its still raw youll suffer near immediate food poisoning

luckily, just like red kidney beans, the potential toxins are easily to remove provided you take the right steps

once theyve been safely removed from their inedible surroundings, the larger red spheres are ready to begin working with - its worth noting that the smaller spots on the hands and cheeks also fall into this category, but theyre almost always too small to be considered harvesting by most professionals 

youll want to start by cutting away any flesh thats still directly touching the pale parts; when in doubt, a wider cut is always preferred. better safe than sorry ! one benefit of working with mr mimes is that, along with many others in their typing, their bodies are held together with physic energy and thus dont require deboning

the next part is going to require boiling in a large pressure cooker- some may find it a challenge to to find a pot big enough to host all the parts, so cooking them individually is fine. remember to follow the instructions to the letter

after theyve been removed and dried, an easy way to text if theyre safe to eat is to cut them in half and check the spongy center - a darkened purple core means theyve been boiled long enough, while any lighter, greenish tints means you probably needed a bit more time

once theyre out of the danger range, you can now safely use them in variety of dishes ! their almost mushroom-like texture means they absorb flavors well, and pictured above is one of my personal favorites

Image

THIS guy though, you can just pop em into your mouth whole. its fine

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spottedhyena

“I love Pokémon so much who wants to talk about it?”

“The newer gens are so shitty theyre obviously running out of ideas”

“The original 150 Pokémon were so much better”

Pokemon Heritage Post

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