Slime Time

LISTEN I ONLY DO UNETHICAL MAGIC IF ITS REALLY FUNNY

I love baseball

they let the pest control man throw out the first pitch 😭

big if true

shoutout to flags that look like landscapes fr gotta be one of my favorite genders

Not to forget:

i just remembered my favourite fucking tweet

it must be so fucking funny to be a dungeon meshi anime only. imagine searching fanart of your favorite anime and every single time there is some fucking catgirl among the cast that's nowhere to be seen in the show. it's a medieval adventure setting why the hell is everyone putting a catgirl in there. but she's always there hanging out with the gang like shes always been there. real life Graggle Simpson

The real reason magnets do that is because they are perverse sexual beasts

me: do you guys like my evil thorned plate armour and bloodred cloak? is the ominous glow of my visor slit too much?

my manserpent minion: it'ssss sssslaying absssolute penisssss, ssssire

my shambling zombie: uuuu 👍

captured gnome i keep in a birdcage: golly gee willikers it's sure some scary!!!

my straight manserpent minion: looks pretty good boss

They have a detective agency.

Fantasy Cyberpunk Generator

mom was describing a tattoo a girl once took her to a back bedroom to show her, which was a fishing pole low on her pelvis with a line and hook that descended into her bush where a small clownfish hid amongst the hair. and that’s just. that’s a goal. and the ultimate freedom from obligation, like “gah I would shave but it would ruin my very good joke, what are you gonna do, I gotta make sure there’s foliage for my little clownfish to hide in”

then mom finished telling me this and looked off for a moment. “my god,” she said. “she was flirting with me. fuck. goddamn it.”