悪魔の泪

The important thing that everyone remembers is that all of this magical, lighter-than-air-seeming Internet technology consists of massive amounts of real, physical infrastructure that companies like to abstract away from their consumer bases.

a good sumerian inexplicably donated five packs of 500 temporary tattoos to the classroom, each pack featuring identical pictures of a different invasive species of bug

i meant samaritan you jackasses i was typing with one hand bc i was putting on one of the temporary tattoos and it got autocorrected

have this in my coat pocket in the bar

Charles van den Eycken - Pleasant anticipation (1883)

The ink bottle lying on your desk... begins to crawl away..???

10D Chess

Art by Yuming Li

the way that m&ms can stink up the whole room

This sounds like something a racist skittle would say

sea, swallow me

Gnomes cannot experience hatred or bigotry.

The only gnome ever to experience a nasty thought died instantaneously of a brain aneurysm. As his body explosively vented all remaining good cheer, he rapidly transmuted into a stack of apricot honey tarts.

little strawberry thief

When a student copies an essay online instead of writing it and then painstakingly changes every word to a synonym until the text no longer makes any sense...

call that the Ship of Thesaurus

Any educator who doesn't feel this on a visceral level has never had to experience the psychic pain of reading the phrase "Unused York City."

A lecturer at Middlesex University in 2014, Chris Sadler, coined the term "Rogetism" for these. Perhaps the best:

Source.

I'm trying to hide my plagiarism but the clapping of my sinister buttocks keeps alerting the lecturer

hate it when I'm eating and my stomach starts growling

if you could wait a fuckin second man big changes are coming I promise

Girlboss and malewife