That Wrestling Tho

following people who are into wrestling is just like "holy shit johnny appleseed just hit burner hurtzog (evil artfilm director-themed wrestler) with the Prostate Puncher 5000! can't fucking stand that guy!" like all day long

faqs:

is this real? / i thought pro wrestling was fake? wrestling is 'fake' in that the fights are choreographed and the winner is predetermined, but the physicality is very real. there's no way to 'fake' getting whipped with a metal chain so hard it leaves welts.

why ARE they chained? this is a specialty fight called a 'dog collar match' where both participants are, you guessed it, fitted with dog collars which are then chained together.

is this legal? / how can this be allowed? why wouldn't it be? they're both consenting adults who planned and agreed to it.

but they could be seriously hurt! they know, and they accept the risk. pro wrestlers are well aware of the injuries possible in their line of work, and they do it anyway because they're crazy people.

IS there aftercare? of a sort, yeah - there's a medical team on hand to patch everyone up, and lots of coworkers backstage to give them a 'job well done!'

why are they wearing thigh highs? they're kneepads/shin guards for protection. looking like sexy thigh highs is just a bonus side effect!

ok, but why's that guy in a shiny speedo? personal preference. wrestlers can design their own outfits and some prefer full coverage long tights, while others wear less to show off the gams.

is that cm punk? yup! he unretired last year.

why do straight men watch this? i'm still trying to figure this one out. 🤷

#is this just kinky as hell to anyone else or like#is that just me? 

Nah mate two half-naked muscular men chained together by their dog collars whipping the shit out of each other with chains in a ritualised power struggle with a predetermined dominator and submitter of the interaction in a public ring is wholesome family entertainment

following people who are into wrestling is just like "holy shit johnny appleseed just hit burner hurtzog (evil artfilm director-themed wrestler) with the Prostate Puncher 5000! can't fucking stand that guy!" like all day long

oh you missed the best part

her twitter is a goldmine

So one of the funniest things about Maki Itoh is that her gimmick is that she used to be an idol but was fired because her head is “too big.” Most of her wrestling career has been in Japan, where she’s a rude and foul-mouthed heel, but when she wrestles in America she’s a face because by god do we love her.

Pac's stance at the top of the ramp was my only takeaway from tonight

whatever you think about CM Punk, this man took a wrestler who has been his fan since he was a kid, and said “let’s yell at each other for multiple months until people are frothing at the mouth for us to fight, and then I will lose to you, for the first time in this company, in my hometown”. 

Like bruh he could have done whatever Main Character Ass Shit he wanted and there would be an audience for it, and no, he said “I’m here to work with and put over the young talent” and that is what he did. 

guy in the front row with the #FreeAli sign I am proposing marriage

All I ask in wrestling is to have people doing their level best to eviscerate each other emotionally before they do it physically, and Seth and Roman delivered on that front. (Seth is a lot more guarded than Roman, but I think his armor drops for a second here).

(The way Roman’s face changes when he says that “us”! Oh my God, my heart).

I love him Your Honor

Seth Rollins wanting to make the fist bump during the match was absolutely beautiful. Roman was beating him, and he knew there was no way to overpowering him physically… so he did it mentally and emotionally. He extended his fist and Roman got away from him immediately… physically, maybe he is more powerful than Seth. But the power that Seth holds over him emotionally is a lot bigger.

Everyone: We want Bayley to win! Rhea! Asuka! Bianca! Sasha!

Vince: Ronda Rousey? You got it’s

Everyone: We want AJ to win! Big E! Kevin Owens!

Vince: Brock? You got it.

me looking for the surprises in the men’s rumble

CM Punk tweeting this two minutes ago. He understands us so much.