As a fic writer, i need every reader to know that:

This website is elite. This website is the blueprint, it's the pinnacle. There is no website like it. I lwill never leave this website

I see this and I raise you

Via Reddit

This starts out as a nice gesture, then quickly becomes absolutely ridiculous.

1,024 dice. Man.

Honestly I think it’s so funny that in the Marvel universe, when someone’s really smart, they have like eight to twelve doctorates and they finished high school at age twelve.

And then over in the DC universe it’s like. This is Tim Drake. He’s a genius. He keeps cloning his loved ones. He dropped out of highschool. Over there is Barry Allen. He can reverse engineer a spaceship in less than a minute. He is such a good chemist he’s still going to be known as the best chemist in 4,000 years. He has a bachelor’s degree.

@doeeyeddyke ‘s tags:

This took me out, thank you.

"what if im a bad person" yeah? well what if you arent? what if you're trying your best and you're growing and you're kind? what then?

it is so jarring and weird when a fantasy book is like “ok let’s go around the circle and have each character talk about which lgbt umbrella category they identify with” like ok your fantasy world doesn’t have to be feudal europe but can it not be 2023 twitter please

If you are, in fact, in ancient China, the words you are looking for are:

Mojing 磨镜 if you are a commoner. It literally translates to “mirror polisher”, because the act of rubbing a cloth over a copper mirror was a metaphor for lesbian sex. Note that this term is used to describe a relationship between two women, rather than the sexual orientation of an individual.

Duishi 对食 if you are a royal woman or maid living in the royal palace. Originating in the Han dynasty, this term literally translates to “eating together”, which is another metaphor for lesbian sex (of a different variety from the one described above 👀). This term is, again, used to describe a type of relationship, not an individual’s orientation. In the royal palace, this kind of relationship was often between a high ranking woman and a low ranking woman, and was frowned upon due to the difference in rank.

For example, during the Han dynasty, Emperor Wu’s empress consort Chen had an affair with a woman named Chu Fu, who dressed like a man and slept with the empress “like husband and wife.” When the affair was discovered, Chu Fu was accused of witchcraft and executed, and the empress was stripped of her title and banished.

So yeah, if you are in ancient China, you can totally say “I prefer to polish mirrors and share my meals with women, if you catch my drift…” 👀👀👀

[image ID: tags from @/top-lil: #women be like 'I'm a lesbian' #bitch what the fuck is lesbos this is ancient china /End ID.]

I went to the local aviary today and they had some really mean things to say about owls.

I can confirm that most birds have a detectable amount of wiring behind the eyes - blinking lights and buttons and sliders and frizzy things that spark and chirp and beep. They also have a lot of soul that can communicate with ours because the programming is fairly compatible. Vultures are clever and curious, swans are clear and lawful, chickens have a lot of personality, caged parrots are dissociated and disinherited and frankly worrying, falconry-trained birds of prey are tremendously businesslike.

And owls are absolutely lovely beasts with their own irreplaceable validity. but they are basically stuffed with polyester fiberfill. They have one button, like a child's toy dinosaur that opens and closes its mouth when you press the back of its head. And it isn't even a sophisticated electronic button it's just a lever that rocks back and forth to make the claws open and close. I think they may have actually evolved independently from sponges. Their skulls simply exist to create holes that funnel sound and light, and as a place to hang a giant hinged beak. An owl is just an empty tube like a windchime that the wind whistles through, and you can drop meat down it. They use the meat to generate feathers, and then emit the bones in pressed little packages like those machines that flatten a penny and stamp it with the logo of a theme park. I think that's the gist of it - most birds are electronics of varying levels of sophistication, but owls are just a system of levers and pulleys. No elevator music in those skulls, just the wind echoing through empty caverns of slightly irritating design. Absolutely fantastic.

Fun fact, when the animal trainers for HP heard they had to use owls, they asked JK if they could use ravens instead, to which she said “no”.

Cue years of torment.

Hedwig had to be played by multiple different birds, as each could only learn one (1) trick.

They somehow, after months of training, taught some owls to fly from one end of the Great Hall to another. They did not succeed in teaching them to drop what they were holding. The tech team had to create lightweight harnesses (owls aren’t strong birds) that could be used to mechanically hold and drop letters/parcels for the scenes.

The good news was that once an owl learns a trick, it doesn’t forget it, so they could reuse the same birds over the years of filming.

It still took about 6 months to teach all the owls tricks where it would have only taken a few weeks with ravens.

I just love the phrasing on the sign at the top because it’s worded not like humans started to think owls were wise because of mythological associations with a deity, but rather like Athena herself started the rumor because she just really liked owls.

@sephet

Athena: look at this

Athena: look at this brainless ball of fluff

Athena: It's so dumb I love it

I was chatting to a falconer once who said that humans never really get to see owls at their best because they hate daylight, hate large groups of people, and hate being perceived. I for one find that very relatable, and probably Athena did too.

absolutely losing my mind that a bunch of nimby assholes spent $500k to build a sandcastle that was promptly wiped away

ted i really could not disagree more this is far from catastrophic. i am ensconced.

literally selling sand to people who live on the beach. some people's hustle and grift game cannot be overstated. world class shit right here

i love tumblr but i hate that we have been conditioned to think you can’t add some of the most insightful shit you’ve ever seen to absolute shitposts. please by all means reblog my posts with this kind of context because it’s so important. excellent points here.

Three words sprang to mind - thank you, Ken Burns - and those words were "The Dust Bowl".

this blog is brought to u by someone unmedicated

All amazing points and so important to take in. I think I have done a couple of these, but not habitually or intensely. But it's good awareness for me.

big issue with linear time is that when there are a few minutes until some event and they aren't enough minutes to do anything with, you just lose those minutes. I think you should be able to save them for later and then combine them into a chunk of leftover time that you get to use at the end of the day, like bonus hours.

my favorite piece of modern art is Ai Weiwei’s Sunflower Seeds, over one hundred million hand-painted ceramic sunflower seeds made by dozens of craftsmen

My first thought was "WHY" but @json-derulo did the work so I didn't have to:

Insult to injury

A "game with Death" scenario but the game is Cash Cab. You gotta answer trivia questions to win your life back.

The questions are about your life and loved ones and are designed to make you appreciate what you have and better yourself after you inevitably win.

"Okay, name three Latin American capitals."

"Havana, Lima, Mexico City."

"Good, now name three reasons your mother is so hung up about your weight."

"Fuck, can I get a lifeline?"

"You can call your grandma's spirit."

"Ah, grandma is definitely one of the reasons."