ditnightingale reblogged
yeah Romeo and Juliet suuucks they should’ve both survived at the end and lived happily ever after instead. but of course the writer kills them both off for shock value.
They also should've been garden gnomes
ditnightingale reblogged
“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.
Good Job.
It’s from two days ago fam how many times could there have been
do you think no one else has time travel
Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.
wow if only you had a time machine
heotasy
Honestly having reached a billion notes I think it’s safe to say that in the Year of our lord 2041, this is the most popular tumblr post out there.
I’m killing your parents before you’re born
Still here, why’d you hesitate @derinthescarletpescatarian
Your mum’s ability to hold up under active gunfire was really hot. I’m your dad now.
Isn’t that the plot of Terminator
Where do you think the plot for Terminator came from?
This is such a classic trainwreck post that has the vibes of a 2014 screenshot posted to Pinterest and then the last addition is just last Tuesday I can’t even
Imagine how I feel
This post is a goldmine
This post is an eagle that has a taste for my liver
Prometheus’ eagle had to get the idea from somewhere.
ditnightingale reblogged
What's the difference between a Sierra Leonean child and a Palestinian Child? I don't mean this in a combative way. I just don't understand the cognitive dissonance.
I appreciate the question, and you not asking it in a combative way. I guess I don't think there is a cognitive dissonance. I condemn the bombing (and have publicly called for a ceasefire since October). I have helped raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for aid to Gaza through the Project for Awesome, and I have personally donated tens of thousands more to support Doctors without Borders' work in Gaza. Equally importantly from my perspective, I'm regularly reaching out to my congressional and senate representatives to let them know how I feel about the horror of my country sending bombs and other weapons to Netanyahu's government.
If you're asking why I don't talk about Gaza every day, there are a few reasons, but the biggest one is that when I do, it doesn't seem to push people toward more organized or effective activism; instead, it seems to lead to people yelling at each other and dehumanizing each other and also parsing my words in ways that seem unfair to me. There's a lot of, "Why did he say this or not say that," rather than my motivating more attention or resources to the cause of a free, safe, and secure Palestine. I'm sure that's a problem with how I'm talking about this, but I've tried talking about it in a variety of ways and in a variety of places and always with the same outcome.
I would also argue that it is not your job to talk about tuberculosis every day (which killed over 100,000 people needlessly last month), nor is it your job to talk about the crisis of maternal and infant mortality in Sierra Leone (which kills over 50,000 people needlessly each year). There is more than one problem in the world, and I feel that my time and resources are best focused on making long-term, open-ended investments into issues that are not receiving much attention in the rich world. That's my personal approach to making change. It is not meant in any way to diminish your approach to making change, which I think is also legitimate and effective.
ditnightingale reblogged
Love in Secret: The Secret Wedding Everyone's Talking About
By Rita Skeeter
The Vanquisher of Voldemort, Harry Potter, and his Hogwarts sweetheart, Ginny Weasley, have secretly eloped!
Mr Potter, hero of the Second Wizarding War now a celebrated Auror, and Ms Weasley, a star Quidditch player for the Holyhead Harpies, have long been a favorite couple among fans. Their popularity endured even through persistent rumors that Ms Weasley used love potions to secure her longtime relationship to the famous wizard.
Ginny Weasley, the youngest daughter of the famously large and somewhat eccentric Weasley family, has always had her eyes set on Harry Potter. Friends from their Hogwarts days recall a shy young girl with a crush that bordered on obsessive. But could this infatuation have driven her to take more sinister measures?
Anonymous sources from the Ministry of Magic have hinted at an investigation into the matter. “It’s not uncommon for witches to resort to such measures when their affections are unreturned,” said one insider. “And with Harry Potter’s fame and fortune, who could blame her?”
When reached for comment, Ron Weasley, Ms Weasley's brother and Mr. Potter’s wartime sidekick, told this reporter to perform a vulgar sexual act on oneself that is too crude to write in this prestigious paper.
Despite their high-profile lives, the couple has always sought to keep certain aspects of their relationship private. Their decision to elope reflects their desire to cherish their love away from the prying eyes of the public.
The newlyweds have yet to make an official statement, but sources indicate they are currently enjoying a romantic honeymoon at an undisclosed location.
ditnightingale reblogged
6 July 1957 – “I dug him.”
ditnightingale reblogged
amaskdescribingamask-deactivate
This is more punk than the whole of punk history.
I’ll tell you what’s ferocious. Freddie’s comeback to Sid calling him “Freddie Platinum” when they were recording down the hall from each other at London’s Wessex Studios (Queen for News of the World, Pistols for Bollocks).
Sid Vicious made the mistake one day of bursting into Queen’s control room and antagonizing their frontman. “Have you succeeded in bringing ballet to the masses, then?” he sneered. “Oh, yes, Simon Ferocious,” Mercury replied. “We’re trying our best, dear.”
Then, according to Queen biographer Daniel Nester, Freddie rose from his chair and began to playfully flick the safety pins displayed on the front of Sid’s leather jacket. “Tell me,” he asked, “did you arrange these pins just so?” When Sid stepped forward in an attempt to intimidate Freddie, the singer simply pushed him backwards and inquired, “What are you going to do about it?” Sid immediately backed down. [x]
letthedalekssaycuck
Freddie Mercury may very well have had the biggest dick energy of anyone who ever lived
Tags from @thirddeadlysin
ditnightingale reblogged
A lot of people have talked about Benoit Blanc’s accent. Was he always going to sound like that, was that in the original script?
ditnightingale reblogged
hello my name is Very tiny flying insect i see you’ve got an uncovered beverage outdoors. Can i fall into it and kill myself please please please please please please please please please please
ditnightingale reblogged
queen of the world to me
ditnightingale reblogged
I must not mock Gen Alpha. Mocking Gen Alpha is the mind killer. Mocking Gen Alpha is the little-death that brings total generational solidarity obliteration. I will engage with Gen Alpha lovingly. I will permit them to be cringe. And when they grow up I will turn my eye to their accomplishments. Where mocking has gone there will be nothing. Only generational solidarity remains
The Kids are indeed Alright.
We must teach them the Lore of things,
like piracy, and how to find stuff at the Library, and Unions, and what it's not legal for job applications to ask you.
when i hear complaints about the boomers, i say "was it not boomers getting shot by cops while protesting against the war in vietnam? Were not boomers the ones who insisted that banks would no longer require a cosign from a husband or father for a woman to open an account or have a credit card? Did they not literally take us to the moon?"
When i hear complaints about gen x i say " did not gen x bear the brunt of AIDS and the creation of the 'inner city'? wasn't it gen-x marching for queer rights and women's body autonomy and a change in corrupt banking policies in some of the largest protests in the country's history?"
when i hear complaints about millennials, i say "have not millennials fought against and lived through so many 'once in a generation' disasters they should by all rights have given up by now? Are not millennials those who rally against the status quo? the industry killers, the cop protesters, they who live through unending hardship as the economic noose tightens, leading the charge for sustainability and socio-economic reform?"
when i hear complaints about gen-z i say "hasn't gen-z gotten involved younger, and been involved stronger, in the continuance of these noble traditions? Are they not living without even the broken pieces of the promise given to the generations that came before? haven't they had their childhoods derailed by the imminence of consequences for actions they were never even present for?"
when i hear complaints about generation alpha i say "HOW DARE YOU. How dare you malign these souls who will have to fix so much that they did not have a hand in ruining... or else die of these mistakes made before they were born. How dare you do the work of our shared oppressors and alienate our fresh blood. You are not to mistreat and mock the youngest soldiers in this fight, no! you point out to them the best targets, you share your rations, you show them how to stay alive, because anyone in the trenches with us is our brethren, our sistren. Our safety and our strength."
don't let the worst kind of stand up comedian tell you other generations are terrible. Don't let the worst kind of headline convince you each generation is against the other. Don't let the worst kind of oppressive force keep us divided along lines that mean nothing real. Because that is how they win.
ditnightingale reblogged
ditnightingale reblogged
"I'm a box"
Source: justcatposts
ditnightingale reblogged
He said
wake up babe new reaction image just dropped
ditnightingale reblogged
The children are learning about the US Civil War. I can’t say it’s going well. (On the bright side, they’re very clear about slavery. We’re solid on that front. It’s the actual war we’re having trouble with.)
“Ms. T, why would his parents name him that?”
I frantically flip through the possible Civil War leaders they could be referencing. “… Well, you know how Stonewall got his nickname, and we’ve talked about Tecumseh, so there’s Sherman, and -”
“No, not them.” They roll their eyes at my ignorance, then pivot back to the point at hand. “That other guy. Useless.” As this describes a number of Civil War leaders, I blink uncomprehendingly at her. “You know, Ms. T, Useless. Useless Grant.”
“Um. … Well -”
Another child raises their hand. “Ms. T, I don’t understand number three.”
Number three is a question about the Battle of Bull Run, asking for explanations about a Confederate victory despite Union advantages. “What paragraph are you looking in?” I ask in a monotone, because I’ve been fielding this question all day.
The student points at the correct paragraph, even focuses in on the quote about Jackson holding off a Union advance. “It says Jackson and the men ‘screamed like furries,’ Ms. T, but why would that help?”
I cough. I cover my mouth with both hands. “That’s ‘furies,’ sweetie,” I inform them, still wheezing. “Like they’re insane with anger,” I elaborate, deciding to skip describing actual furies at this point in time. “Not … not like furries.”
So, here’s how the war is going, one week in: Useless Grant has been made general of the Union forces, but a bunch of furries are preventing him from gaining much ground.
ditnightingale reblogged
There are about eighty things wrong with working for the Beatles and one of them is that there aren't any Beatles any more and another is that one forgets who one is, whoever one may be; the experience of working for the Beatles has affected all of us in different ways, but affected us it has and forever; come what may we will never be the same. (…) Oh, it has been a great adventure, and we all shared the fun. The Beatles were generous with the fun. The Beatles liked the people around them and the people around them liked the Beatles. We were not sycophants, yet we were rarely bold. I think we were always nervous because there were four of them, and only four. There were two assets common to those who survived a close relationship with them: 1. We didn't want to be Beatles and we didn't ever think about their money; 2. We were good at what we did and what we did they couldn't do. (...) I don't know whether to laugh or cry now that it's all over. I mean I miss the Beatles, they were part of all our lives and all our loving, and yet it is nice for them and for us from the inner clique to be ourselves, so again, I ask, who are we? Will we ever be allowed to go out and about as normals, or will we always be offered bones to inspect and label: 'Which one was it who really split them up?' 'Who was your favourite?' I dunno, I dunno, I think sometimes that the people closest to them are the people the Beatles resent most. We were so adjacent to the truth, to the money, so near to the fame, and the success and all of the glamglitscreamcheer that we got to look very like courtiers, covered in gold dust. Did they ever think: ‘Goddamn them! Who do they think they are? Who needs them? We are the Beatles, we are the four.’ (...) Neil and Mal and me and Peter, we were there because we wanted to serve the Beatles, we were heavy fans, so are all the people around them; I guess the whole world is and the miracle is not that the Beatles survived the world’s adoration (they didn’t, they took a powder to end the pain), but that Lennon and McCartney and Harrison and Starkey had the wit and wisdom to cling to the good earth and not fall off. Clinging to reality can take a lot out of a man and I think that towards the end, they were looking at us like parents having troubles enough of their own, looking at a houseful of full-grown sons, sitting around making tea. If any of them had said, ‘Why don’t you lot go out and get a job?’ was the feeling I got, so here I am, sitting at this desk.
As Time Goes By, Derek Taylor (1973)
ditnightingale reblogged
The Battle of the five Armies countdown - day 21 of 30
Bonus:
This thing from 2014 is my legacy. It’s got an insane number of notes and it still gets reblogs and likes everyday. I see people tagging it as #aclassic and I’ve met people in real life showing it to me not knowing I did it.
I was looking at it and realised that today, after 10 years I’d have done it the other way round.
I haven’t been in the Tolkien fandom for literally all of these 10 years so I don’t know if it’s been done already but here’s my updated version.
It’s…much funnier to me now lmao
ditnightingale reblogged
David Bowie as Mephistopheles (1999)