Parabatai

SHADOWHUNTERS + BOOK QUOTES

“If Jace was gold, catching the light and the attention, Alec was silver: so used to everyone else looking at Jace that that was where he looked too, so used to living in Jace’s shadow that he didn’t expect to be seen. Maybe it was enough to be the first person to tell Alec that he was worth being seen ahead of anyone in a room, and of being looked at longest.                      And silver, though few people knew it, was a rarer metal than gold.”

Magnus being a little shit.

      Jace wanted to tell Alec that nothing would change between them, but Alec had never appreciated his attempts to soften hard truth’s with lies. It was true that their bond as parabatai would always come before anything else, but that bond was so strong, he knew that if nothing else kept them together, that would. He had no idea what kind of side effects loving your parabatai had, what made it illegal, but he knew that when Alec applied an iratze to his skin, the wound healed almost before he was finished drawing it, as if his body understood intent. Runes for stealth and speed and strength were all enhanced, providing them both with an edge not even the best of the Clave had. Their connection had always felt almost psychic, sensing one another and feeling that push and pull, but now it was he like could feel what Alec felt, experience what Alec experienced as it occurred. It happened infrequently, and he couldn’t pin point how or why it did, but he had felt anxiety and distress and even joy, as if it was his own, projected by Alec, miles away. They shared more than just the standard bond now, he was sure of that. It would endure through all changes, even the introduction of a child into their lives.

      “You’re right. Tonight, these next few months, it won’t be this way again. But right now, we still have this. You’ve got time. We have time. We will make it work, even if it’s different. I need you to trust me. To trust us,” he squeezed his hand. “I’m not ready to stop seeing you. Maybe it’s selfish and I know that this isn’t the perfect scenario but it’s what we have, what we have always had, and I’m not giving it up. Not now and not when your kid is born.” He leaned up, rocking forward onto his toes, so that he could kiss Alec gently. “Have a little faith, Alec,” he mumbled as he pulled back. “Come on, let’s grab the train.” I can’t remember if they were in a train station or on their way but they are there now because I say so. The doors let out their familiar ‘ding’ and people spilled out, avoiding the two men that they couldn’t see. Jace led Alec through the train car to the empty back end, falling heavily into a seat. He pulled at Alec’s sleeve and brought the hand he held to his lips, kissing the back of it. “Sit, relax,” he insisted, smiling up at Alec’s glum expression, as his a few strands of blonde hair tumbled across his forehead. The train rumbled and resumed movement, the sound and feel familiar beneath his seat and under his feet.

      Faith.  A concept that Alec should understand.  Something that should be so ingrained in his mind that it took little effort to believe in what he couldn’t understand.  But that had never been his strongest suit.  He was a believer in what he could see and touch and understand.  He didn’t care for stories of God or angels.  He believed in himself and he believed in Jace and those who did what had to be done.  Alec had always found himself lacking in the faith department.  So as much as he wanted to have faith that this would work out, step blindly into the future and hope for the best, doubt was what filled his mind  Fear, anxiety, and uncertainty were all that flowed through his veins right now.

     “I want to. I want to try and be positive but I think right now I just need to be realistic.  I need to remember that things are not always going to be like this.”  So maybe that meant Alec would treasure this time together more.  Maybe that meant he’d make the most of what they did have left, knowing his life was going to radically change in a few months.  He slipped into the seat beside Jace and draped an arm over his shoulders, tugging him against his side and sighing softly.  “Relax isn’t really in my plan right now.  I appreciate the effort you’re making Jace, I do.”

     There was more he wanted to say.  There was always more he wanted to say, things that were left hanging in the air between them.  But Jace knew it all.  He could read Alec’s emotions as if they were his own.  He knew what the other needed without ever having to ask.  His body language spoke all the words he didn’t know how to say.  “Thank you.”  He whispered, pressing a kiss softly to the blond’s temple and closing his eyes, letting the train carry them away.

     “I wouldn’t be me if I started knocking on doors.” Stiles replied and leans himself against the others door.

“No, you would be someone tolerable.”  Alec rolled his eyes, flipping a page and scanning it for the information he was seeking. “What do you want Stiles?”

   “NIGHT CHILDREN?” She swore that if her eyebrows furrowed any further she’d have to iron the crease in her forehead flat. Caroline shifted her weight again, adjusting her arms. She didn’t like feeling left out of the loop. And this was…this was so far out of the loop that she wasn’t even sure there WAS a loop anymore. “Caroline. My name is Caroline. And I have no idea what you’re talking about. Or what…shadowhunters or night children or whatever are.”

            Alec studied her a moment before realizing that she was actually serious.  She didn’t know what he was talking about and she obviously wasn’t from anywhere near an Institute or any form of law in the shadow world.  “What is wrong with you?  How can you not know any of this?”  He shook his head rubbing at his jawline.  “Where’s the nearest major city to you, I mean like, largest metropolis to your home?”  He would find out whose jurisdiction she was under and figure out what the hell was going on here.

      Dorian waved a hand, as if dismissing his brother’s concerns. They were both raised by the same woman - while Maryse loved her children and would have defended them against any slander or threat, she was often judgemental and unyielding. It should not have been surprising to Alec that Dorian felt like an extra, a back up. Alec had always taken more initiative, especially when it came to impressing their mother, which Dorian seemed to struggle with.       Getting praise from Maryse Lightwood was no easy task, and for the most part, Dorian had given up. For Alec, however, he would do his best to uphold the standard both his mother and brother had set. “I will make sure Isabelle does not burn the Institute down,” he promised. Most days, Dorian did not seek out praise or recognition - not from anyone but Alec. Instead of competing like some siblings, Dorian had stepped aside early in their life, content to play the support role to Alec who had greater ambitions than he did.       It had worked like that for years and he saw no reason to change it. Stepping up now would be temporary and good experience if nothing else.

            “Would you hit me if I said I was more worried about you burning the place down?  I mean know her cooking skills are sub par, but you definitely like to play with fire more than Izzy does.”  Alec shook his head and smirked as he glanced over at his twin.  He knew Dorian was more responsible than that, but it really was fun to mess with him.  That was something that never seemed to get old, teasing his brother, the two seemed to have a never ending stream of insults and jokes to make about the other, neither ever really getting hurt by the words.

            Alec didn’t revel in the way their parents seemed to make him the star child.  He didn’t even really like the attention.  It was better when they were focused on keeping Izzy out of trouble, or making sure Jace didn’t get himself killed trying to be a hero.  Alec was content to be the backup.  He was always okay with that.  But it seemed that Dorian shined more in that role.  Alec was the reluctant leader, the one who knew what needed to be done and was good at making it happen, even if he hated the recognition.  “I’m hoping I won’t have to stay in Idris too long...I’m of more use when I’m in New York.”

The book gets dropped to the side. The second Alec tells him what’s going on, he has Jace’s full attention. Alec’s coming to him for dating advice and well this was surely a first for them both. He sits up on his bed, leaning against the headboard, and taps the side next to him. 

‘’Sit and tell me exactly what it is you want my help with. I’ll help you out as much as I can. Can I know who it is you like or is that off limits?’’

          Alec tentatively moved into the room, closing the door and finding his seat next to Jace on the bed.  He kept his back to him, feet still on the floor and eyes closed as he tried to gather his thoughts.  This was stupid, it was a bad idea and he knew it.  But Alec didn’t know who else to ask, and he knew Jace was the one person who wouldn’t judge him....or at least he hoped.

          “If I tell you, do you promise not to laugh?”  The archer turned and glanced over his shoulder, making eye contact with the blond and holding his gaze as he awaited his answer.  He could trust Jace, he knew that, but still the fear crept up inside him that maybe he was wrong.

Person B losing their temper and about to essentially annihilate anything/anyone in their path. A kiss and gentle hand squeeze from Person A calms B down instantly.  

these two times alec is looking at magnus really go kind of unnoticed, at least on my dash. 

― Joseph E. Morris